Joyce J. Penner - Enjoy!: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women

Endorsements

Joyce and Cliff Penner have done it again! After decades of pioneering work in sexuality and after counseling thousands of couples, they get to the naked truth about sex like nobody else. Every womanalong with her husbandshould read this insightful book. It will positively transform your love life.

DRS. LES AND LESLIE PARROTT

#1 New York Times best-selling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

Joyce and Cliff Penner are two of the best thinkers and clinicians we know when it comes to the wonders of sexuality and intimacy. They are thoughtful, informed, biblical, straightforward, and compassionate. And the topic is inspired and much-needed. This book will bring joy, delight, help, and wisdom to everybody who reads it.

JOHN ORTBERG

Senior pastor, Menlo Park Presbyterian Church; author of All The Places to Go

NANCY ORTBERG

Author of Seeing in the Dark: Finding Gods Light in the Most Unexpected Places

When I needed practical assistance to overcome the damage of childhood sexual molestation, Joyce and Cliff Penner were a godsend, and for more than twenty years, they have been mentors, models, and friends. Enjoy!: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women elevates the needs, desires, and experiences of women as they embrace their sexuality in marriage. No one writes about sex with more passion, expertise, and wisdom than they do!

KAY WARREN

Cofounder of Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA

For any woman who is dissatisfied and discouraged with the physical intimacy in her marriage, Enjoy! contains a wealth of wisdom and practical advice that is sure to be helpful. The Penners understand the challenges common to wives, and Im confident their latest book will help many couples experience a newfound joy and closeness as they follow this roadmap for mutual sexual fulfillment.

JIM DALY

President of Focus on the Family

Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women

2017 by Joyce J. Penner, M.N., R.N. and Clifford L. Penner, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188

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ISBN 978-1-58997-802-7

Build: 2017-08-23 15:41:22

To our three daughters:

Julene Stellato, child and adolescent psychologist; Carrie Walton Penner, K12 educational advocate; and Kristine Penner Klein, gynecologic oncologist; who are at the juggling stage of lifenurturing their children, living out their professions, giving to and caring for others, while facing the challenge of finding special moments to enjoy their husbands and take time for self-care.

Introduction

O VER OUR MORE THAN forty years as sex therapists and educators, weve come to realize that many assumptions about women and sex simply are not spot-on. And whats worse, they do not work well for a lasting, mutually enjoyable sex life in marriage.

There are plenty of ways to end up with these beliefs and practices, which do more harm than good. Personal history, culture, experience, and confusion regarding Scriptureall of these influences can lead to false assumptions about women and sex. While many of these ideas do contain a germ of truth, weve learned that often they are applied incorrectly.

Throughout this book, well share our observations and findings about women and sex. What weve learned and taught has made a positive difference in the sexual relationships between many husbands and wives. These findings have evolved over the years from the stories of thousands of individuals and couples who have come to us with disappointments or frustrations and have found relief and mutual fulfillment. Its our hope that you, too, can find that fulfillment.

Just as our goal in writing The Married Guys Guide to Great Sex was to help men understand, accept, and fulfill their roles for sex in marriage, Enjoy! is meant to help women discover total acceptance and expression of their God-given sexuality as wives. Well share how you, as a woman, can learn to embrace your sexual role in marriage and find more enjoyment with your husband.

In The Married Guys Guide to Great Sex, we dispelled myths about men and sex, and shared how the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves usunconditionally.

In Enjoy!, well clear up false assumptions about women and sex and empower you to embrace your unique sexuality and share all of who you are with your husband.

After you read this book, we encourage you and your husband to read it out loud together. As you read, stop to explain what describes you and what does not fit for you.

We trust there will be many deeply rewarding moments as you discover who you are as a sexual person and as you pursue full acceptance and expression of your God-given sexuality in your marriage.

CHAPTER 1

ENJOY

M AGGIE MADE CLEAR during her first session with us that she was willing to engage in sexual therapy only to save her marriage. She adamantly declared, I have zero interest and dont care if we ever have sex again!

Six months later, she couldnt imagine life without sex.

What brought on this dramatic change? Through the sexual therapy process, Maggie learned to take in pleasure for herself, allow arousal, and have regular orgasmic release. She was now communicating with her husband about her sexual likes and dislikes.