PRAISE FOR STRENGTHS BASED MARRIAGE
What an incredible book for couples! Weve been waiting for a resource like this and Jimmy and Allan are just the two to write it. Dont miss out on this grounded, practical, and invaluable message.
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, #1 New York Times bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
I cant think of two people more qualified to write a book about how to have a strengths-based marriage than leading marriage expert Jimmy Evans and strengths coach Allan Kelsey. Youll discover how you were uniquely created and how your strengths allow you to connect with your spouse on a deeper level. I know these revolutionary truths can radically transform hurting marriages and make healthy marriages even stronger.
Robert Morris, founding senior pastor, Gateway Church; bestselling author of The Blessed Life, Truly Free, and Frequency
Tested, real-world marriage help meets behavioral science and biology. If youve been looking for something that can help you create the marriage of your dreams, look no further.
John C. Maxwell, #1 New York Times bestselling author, coach, and speaker
Over the last decade, the StrengthsFinder assessment has transformed the worlds of business and leadership. In this book, Evans and Kelsey apply these findings to marriage, and the results are fantastic.
Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist, acclaimed leadership expert, and bestselling author
2016 by Jimmy Evans and Allan Kelsey
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Nelson Books, an imprint of Thomas Nelson. Nelson Books and Thomas Nelson are registered trademarks of HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Inc.
Thomas Nelson titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.
Unless otherwise noted, scripture quotations are from THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION. 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scriptures marked NASB are from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission.
Scriptures marked NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
The non-Gallup information you are receiving has not been approved and is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views, and interpretations of StrengthsFinder results are solely the beliefs of Jimmy Evans and Allan Kelsey.
Gallup, Clifton StrengthsFinder, StrengthsFinder, and the 34 Clifton StrengthsFinder theme names are trademarks of Gallup, Inc. All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-7180-8363-2 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Evans, Jimmy, author.
Title: Strengths based marriage : build a stronger relationship by understanding each other's gifts / Jimmy Evans and Allan Kelsey.
Description: Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 2016. | Includes bibliographical references.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016017800 | ISBN 9780718083625
Subjects: LCSH: Marriage--Religious aspects--Christianity.
Classification: LCC BV835 .E8855 2016 | DDC 248.8/44--dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016017800
16 17 18 19 20 RRD 6 5 4 3 2 1
We dedicate this book to every couple who has suffered relationally from avoidable pain caused by a lack of knowledge of each other. Our prayer is that you will find understanding and peace and fall deeper in love through the revelation in this book.
T his book has the power to strongly transform your marriage, regardless of its current condition. We suggest you approach this book similarly to how you should approach marriage: the more you put into it, the more you will get out of it.
You will encounter the voices of two experts, Jimmy Evans and Allan Kelsey, who speak to the most frequent marital challenges and to corresponding opportunities for growth. Each chapter deals with a specific marriage topic by looking at it from the perspective of a marriage expert (Jimmy) as well as from that of a strengths expert (Allan). By bringing together these two areas of expertise, Strengths Based Marriage offers a unique approach to understanding yourself, your spouse, and the mystery of marriage.
To make the most of this book, you and your spouse will need to take the Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment. Well provide you with a link to the assessment later in the book. With your assessment results in hand and the guidance of this book, you can experience a level of intimacy and strength of relationship that will transform your marriage forever.
STRENGTHS BASED MARRIAGE VIDEO SESSIONS
Experience the Strengths Based Marriage video sessions featuring more than two hours of exclusive video content with marriage authority Jimmy Evans, Strengths Coach Allan Kelsey, and the testimonies of other couples who have seen their marriages renewed and reignited.
Through these Strengths Based Marriage videos, accessible online, youll discover how to apply the life-changing knowledge of your strengths and reach the full potential in your relationship. (More information follows the About the Authors section at the back of the book.)
Allan Kelsey, Strengths Expert
J ohn came to me because he was having trouble being understood at work and wanted to know how to communicate his perspective and ideas better. Additionally, he said that while his marriage was good, lately he and his wife had felt distant and werent connecting quite the way they used to. They had been married five years.
His wife, Susan, had taken Gallups Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment and was encouraging him to do so, but he didnt understand why she was making such a big deal about it. Susan spoke frequently about her results and wanted to see him through the strengths lens so she could understand him better. She told him that it would help him at work to know his strengths, so John finally agreed. He took the assessment, then came to see me with his results.
When taking the strengths assessment, there are two sets of results available:
- Top five strengths. This is the first option available from the website, and it reveals the top five strengths in descending order.
- Full thirty-four strengths. The second option allows the candidates to know all thirty-four of their strengths in descending order.
As a Strengths Coach, I had asked John to choose the second option and bring me his results so we could look at his top-ten and bottom-five strengths together.
A good Clifton StrengthsFinderbased development plan involves focusing on the strong parts of your lifethe eight or ten strengths at the top of your listas well as being aware of the softer strengths at the bottom of your list, because its there that challenges can be present if the person is not aware of those strengths.
John and I worked on a great plan using his strengths for work, and near the end of our time together we looked over the strengths appearing lower on his list. As it turns out, the strength of Empathy was number thirty-three out of thirty-four on his list. Ordinarily I would have told him that since this was among his bottom-five strengths, he should be aware of it and work to ensure that this result wouldnt hinder his interactions with others. But this was no ordinary situation: I knew Susan had Empathy in her top five. That changed everything.