Donald Wikoff - Maximize Your Marriage: The Biblical Foundations for Marriage

M AXIMIZE YOUR
M ARRIAGE

M AXIMIZE YOUR
M ARRIAGE

The Biblical Foundations for Marriage

Donald Wikoff, M.D.

2019 Donald Wikoff, M.D.

Maximize your Marriage

The Biblical Foundations for Marriage

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All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.Zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018961838

ISBN 978-0-310101987 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-0-310101994 (Hardbound)

ISBN 978-0-310102007 (eBook)

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C ONTENT

B efore we wade into a study of the Bible and what it has to say about marriage, let me give you some introductory observations from scripture that we will develop in our study. This is somewhat like a Cliff Notes version which gives us a very short but reflective view of the whole study. Nine observations follow; they are:

GOD instituted and designed marriage!

He did not design it to be easy!

Opposites attract (theres a reason)

God rigged the system!

Men and women are very different!

God loves sandpaper! (Hint: You have a hand in picking the grit grade of paper)

Glorious success is possible!

Marriage (and family) is just a physically tangible manifestation of a heavenly relationship, created to provide insight into every aspect of the heavenly, divine, spiritual marriage of Christ and the church.

Love is a choice, not a feeling!

This will give you the general direction we are headed. To facilitate review of the scriptures we will study, as we work through maximizing our marriages, the Bible references that form the skeleton upon which all observations are made are listed at the end of the book. Read, ponder, assimilate, and instigate these scriptures to maximize your marriage. God bless you in your endeavor! The fact that you have even read this far means you have an interest in seeing your marriage improve. It will be my prayer that the Biblical perspectives which follow will revolutionize you, your spouse, your marriage, your family, and your impact on those in your sphere of influence! Now to get started!

T o understand the foundations of Biblical marriage, one has to start with the institution of marriage, understand by whom it was instituted, and for what purpose. The characteristics of marriage as intended by God are described for us in the book of beginnings, the book of Genesis. So let us begin to cultivate our understanding of marriage by seeing what God had to say about marriage when He first instituted it in the Garden of Eden. As you probably know, Genesis is the first book of the Bible, and the first book of the Pentateuch. The Pentateuch is the first five books of the Bible as written by Moses. The foundations for all of our Christian beliefs are formed in the Pentateuch, particularly Genesis. Let us begin our search for understanding in Genesis 1:2628, NIV.

26 Then God said, Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.

27 So God created man in his own image,

in the image of God he created him;

male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.

First, notice that it reads, Let us, so who is us? This is a plural pronoun, and is the first indication in the Bible of the trinity. We are given to understand in the rest of the Bible that the trinity is composed of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Thus, the collaborative decision was made in heaven to make man. And how was he to be made? In the image and likeness of the members of the trinity. To be made in their image and likeness means that we share the characteristics of all three. It means that we can be identified as coming from them because we bear their characteristics. Next, God, through Moses, shares the assignment for man. It is to rule. Rule over the whole of all living birds, fish, and animals. God then gave a directive that in addition to ruling, males and females were to utilize their sexuality to have children and to fill the earth with mankind. Man has seemed to do a pretty good job of this command, as there are now 7.5 billion people on the earth. So, in the Garden of Eden, in a place of utopia, God had a purpose for males and females, to be fruitful, to multiply, to fill, to subdue, and to rule. He gave more direction in Genesis 2:15.

Gen 2:15-16

15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

So man was given work to do! Yes, in the perfect environment, in fellowship with God, and living in a place of unspoiled beauty, God intended for man to work! This is before the fall, and it is evident that work was a privilege and a blessing as directed by God.

What does this have to do with marriage, you ask? The answer is that God gave Adam a task too big for him to manage by himself. God declares in Genesis 2:18:

Gen 2:18

18 The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

Was it not good for man to be alone because man was not created adequately? Was Adam somehow a flawed creation? Actually, God tells us in Genesis 1:31, the day he made man and woman, that not only was his creative effort that day good, it was the only day of the six days of creation which God ended by saying it was very good. So, no, Adam was not flawed as though his creation was lacking in some respect; rather, God was more proud of his creation of man and woman than he was of the rest of creation.

God has acknowledged that despite a world of different animals, of birds and sea creatures, Adam did not have a suitable companion. So God declared He would make a