David Steele - Radical Marriage: Your Relationship as Your Greatest Adventure

Radical Marriage:
Your Relationship as Your Greatest Adventure

by David and Darlene Steele

Radical Marriage: YourRelationship As Your Greatest Adventure

David and Darlene Steele

Copyright 2014 by David and DarleneSteele

Smashwords Edition

Radical Marriage is a registered trademarkof David Steele and Relationship Coaching Institute and may not beused without permission

All rights reserved. This book is intendedfor personal use of the purchaser. No part of this book may be usedor reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permissionexcept in the case of brief quotations in critical articles andreviews.

Published by RCN Press

a division of Relationship CoachingInstitute

P.O. Box 111783, Campbell, CA 95011

888-268-4074

www.RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com

www.RCNpress.com

ISBN: 978-0-9904612-1-0

Library of CongressCataloging-in-Publication Data

Steele, David A. (1957- ), and Steele,Darlene, K. (1961- )

Radical Marriage: Your Relationship as YourGreatest Adventure / 1st ed.

Library of Congress Control Number:2014949595

1. Marriage. 2. Relationships. 3.Communication. 4. Intimacy I. Title

Genre: Non-fiction /Family & Relationships / Marriage

Attention Universities,Colleges, Churches, Professional Associations and otherorganizations: Quantity discounts areavailable on bulk purchases of this book. For more informationplease contact:

Relationship ExpertsPraise Radical Marriage

Radical Marriage provides clearideas, easy strategies to follow, and a radical new paradigm forcreating the relationship of your dreams.

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKellyHunt, Ph.D. Co-authors of Making Marriage Simple

Radical Marriage is for couples ingood marriages who envision something wonderful for their futuretogether. The Steeles have given us a manifesto and road map formarriage as a more perfect union.

William J. Doherty, Ph.D., Professor ofFamily Social Science, University of Minnesota, author of Take BackYour Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart

Radical Marriage is an accessibleand clear description of the steps for relationship success withmany easy-to-follow strategies for making life and lovebetter.

Don Ferguson, Ph.D. author of Reptilesin Love and The Couples Manual

Is your marriage where you want it to be?This book will challenge you to take it to the next level, beyondwhere you ever thought it could be. Your marriage can be more wonderfully more, extraordinarily more, radically more!

Greg and Priscilla Hunt,BetterMarriages.org

Table ofContents

Introduction: Beyond Happily Ever After

Chapter One: IsRadical Marriage Right For You?

Chapter Two:Radical Commitment

ChapterThree: Radical Communication Part 1 - The CommunicationMap

Chapter Four:Radical Communication Part 2 - Experiencing YourExperience

Chapter Five:Radical Communication Part 3 - The RelationshipJournal

Chapter Six:Radical Communication Part 4 - Living YourTruth

ChapterSeven: Radical Intimacy

ChapterEight: Radical Romance

Chapter Nine:Radical Sex

Chapter Ten :Radical Living

Afterword:Welcome to the Radical Marriage Movement

About theAuthors

Appendix 1: Quiz:Do You Have a Radical Marriage?

Appendix 2: SevenBenefits of Committed Relationships

Appendix 3: FAQsabout Radical Marriage

Appendix 4: TheFive Promises of Radical Commitment

Appendix 5:Creating and Deepening Your Radical Marriage

Appendix 6: TheRadical Marriage Circle

Appendix 7: Radical MarriageResources

Before we get started, here are a few thingswed like you to know about this book:

• Much more than a self-help book, Radical Marriage isa movement to promote the evolution of committed relationships andsave one of our most important social institutions from (perceived)obsolescence.

• Written by a couple, the term we is used in thisbook to refer to the authors and is not intended to include themembers and staff of Relationship Coaching Institute.

• While gender specific terms are used for conveniencesuch as husband, wife, him and her, it is our fullintention to be inclusive of all committed relationships of allgender and sexual orientations.

• We define marriage to be a formally committedlifetime relationship, whether legally recognized or not.

• The word radical in Radical Marriage refers to adramatically new paradigm and does not mean ado-anything-you-want-without-consequences approach to marriage,as youll soon discover in Radical Commitment (Chapter Two).

• Throughout this book are Radical Actions to helpyou start implementing the suggested strategies. These are intendedto provide an idea of how to begin and are not a comprehensive listof everything you could do. If you need more support, ideas andguidance to implement the strategies in this book we suggestcontacting a Radical Marriage Coach, Radical Marriage MentorCouple, joining our Radical Marriage Online Community, or joining aRadical Marriage Circle (see appendix).

While Radical Marriage is a specific paradigmwith distinct assumptions and suggested practices, it is ourintention for you to take what fits and discard what doesnt. Manyof the ideas in this book are challenging to most couples and whatmatters is that you co-create the Radical Marriage that fits bestfor you so that you can honestly and enthusiastically declareWe have a Radical Marriage!

What you conceive and believe, you canachieve
Napoleon Hill (paraphrased)

Napoleon Hills conceive, believe, achievequote is a powerful statement and a powerful truth. It says that wecan go far beyond our self-imposed limits. But theres a flip sideto those wordsthis also means that what you dont conceiveor believe, you cant achieve.

As relationship coaches, our job is to helpsingles and couples who want to live happily ever after.Its a worthy goal and a worthy dream. But there are big limits tothat dream:

1. You might have a desire (love) butnot a clear idea, vision, or dream for what it looks like, so youre stuck with what is.

2. You might have a clear dream, but notreally believe its possible or realistic, soyoure stuck with what youll allow yourself to have .

3. You might believe its possible, but yourdream is limited to what you can actually envision, so youre stuck with a narrow range ofpossibilities .

This is where Radical Marriage comes in.

As coaches, were here to help you dreambig, reach deep down, and uncover desires you didnt even know youhad. Our role is to help you recognize and reach the next level ofyour dreams. This is especially important when it comes torelationships.

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Most couples dont want an
ordinary, boring, routine relationship.

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Most couples dont want an ordinary, boring,routine relationship. They want excitement, fun, closeness,love.

When we get married we make vows to betogether until death do us part. Thats a long time, and sadly,half of marriages dont or cant keep that commitment.