Allen Zadoff - Boy Nobody

I PICK UP A BASEBALL BAT.

Its a thirty-two-ounce Rawlings composite. I feel the weight in my hands. The balance is slightly off from a dent on the tip.

I grasp the bat on either end and stretch out in the parking lot after the game. Natick vs. Wellesley. My Natick teammates are all around me, high school jocks doing what they do after a win. Celebrating. Big-time.

I celebrate, just like them.

This is what I think to myself:

I am one of you. I am young. I am a winner.

I smile and stretch.

After a moment, I shift my weight onto my back leg and I swing hard. Jack Wu comes up behind me at the same time. The bat misses his head by an inch.

A big man in a black suit tenses nearby. Tenses but doesnt interfere.

This is Jacks bodyguard and driver, a shadow behind Jack whenever he goes out. Jacks dad is rich. Rich and nervous.

Jack hates the bodyguard. Hes told me a dozen times. Jack and I are friends, so he tells me these things.

Watch it with the bat, dude, Jack says, and he punches me on the shoulder. A playful punch.

The Suit steps forward, and Jack spins around, anticipating him.

Down, Rover, he says, like hes talking to a pit bull.

The Suit grins like hes in on the joke, but I wonder if he wouldnt slap the hell out of Jack if he had the chance. Instead he leans back against the sleek black Mercedes and waits.

You killed it out there, Jack says. He head-gestures toward the field.

I do my best, I say.

Your best kicks ass and takes names, Jack says, and he punches my shoulder again.

This time the big man doesnt move. But the other players are looking at us.

Two punches on the arm. A way of asserting dominance.

Dominance is a threat. It must be dealt with.

I run a checklist in my mind:

I can let him punch me. Choose a lower status.

I can retaliate in equal measure, with equal force.

I can escalate. Assert my dominance.

Which should I choose?

Jack is supposed to be my friend. A teenage friend would punch a buddy the way he punched me. When in doubt, emulate. Thats what Ive been taught.

So its option two.

I give Jack a light punch on the shoulder.

Ow! he cries in mock pain. Take it easy on me.

This entire transaction takes no more than two seconds:

I swing the bat.

Jack punches. I punch back.

We both laugh as the Suit looks on.

This is what youd see if you were watching us now. Two jocks, buddies, teasing each other.

You want to come back to the bank vault? Jack says.

The bank vault. Thats what Jack calls his house.

For a little bit, I say.

Jack steps toward the car. The Suit reacts quickly, opening the back door for him.

My friend is coming with, Jack says to him.

Yes, sir, he says, and he gestures for me to get into the car.

THE LEATHER IS SOFT IN THE MERCEDES.

Its the kind of leather seat that pulls you in, begs you to relax against it. A seat that says, You are being taken care of. You are being driven where you need to go.

I imagine having a father who can afford things like this. Expensive cars. Expensive bodyguards. Not just afford them, but a father who wants his son to have them. Wants him to be taken care of.

But this is not something I should be thinking about now. Not when theres work to do.

I glance at Jack. Hes leaning back with his eyes closed.

I was thinking, he says.

Thats unusual for you, I say.

Asshole, he says.

He smiles, his eyes still closed.

I was thinking about you and me.

Stop right there, I say. Youre making me nervous.

Can I be serious for a minute? Jack says.

You want to get all heavy for sixty seconds, Im not going to stop you.

I was thinking that youre a real friend.

Youve got tons of friends, I say.

Not guys I invite over to the house. Not guys I trust.

You trust me?

For real, Jack says.

The Suit in the front seat coughs. A warning to Jack? A reminder that hes still here? Or nothing at all. A tickle in the throat.

If you trust me, can I borrow a hundred bucks? I say.

I dont trust you that much, Jack says.

He laughs.

He punches my arm.

I let him do it.

THE SUIT TYPES A CODE INTO THE SECURITY GATE.

The large metal gate slides open to reveal a long driveway, a guard hut set twenty feet in.

We pull up to the hut and the Suit nods to a guard. He lifts two fingers. Two people coming in, Jack and me. The guard marks it down on a clipboard. Hes seen me before, and its not a big deal.

We continue around a hairpin turn, and the house comes into view. Big but not lavish. The Suit stops to let us out.

Jack types a code to gain access to the house.

The front door beeps to announce our entry. Front door open, it says.

It beeps again when the door is closed. Front door closed, the electronic voice says.

Jacks dad wanders by with a beer in his hand. Chen Wu is his name. His friends call him John. Hes the CEO of a high-tech firm along Route 128. Lots of government contracts.

Does he need all this security?

I know he likes it. It makes you feel important to have a lot of people with guns around you. It makes you feel safe, and more importantly for him, it makes his wife feel safe. That keeps her from giving him a hard time.

Its not just Mr. Wu. All the CEOs are edgy right now. There was some violence a year ago. An important kid got shot during an attempted kidnapping while on spring break in Mexico. The Fortune 500 went security crazy. Now rich kids like Jack need a commando team to take a dump.

Nice to see you, boys, Jacks dad says.

Whats up, Dad? Jack says. Gotta take a squirt. Pardon my French.

He turns to leave.

Hey, I cant stay too long, I say.

You gotta go? Jack says, disappointed.

Gotta call my mom, I say. I guess its morning wherever she is.

Crap in a bag, Jack says.

He shoots up the stairs.

You have time for a cold one? Jacks dad says.

Beer or soda?

How old are you? he says.

Sixteen.

Soda for you. But it was a nice try.

I shrug like Im bummed out, and I follow him through the den.

How was the game? Jacks dad says.

Amazing, I say. You should come sometime.

High school ball is not really my thing, he says.

But its his sons thing, so what does it matter?

I see this a lot with the Fortune 500. Mr. Wu is always working. Except Friday nights. His only downtime, and he doesnt want to spend it with his family. He relaxes for the evening, then works again all weekend.

So be it. Its Friday night and hes here. So am I.

Thats the important thing.

We head into the kitchen, and the conversation drifts to the Red Sox. Were near Boston, so we have to talk Sox.

I notice an expensive knife block on the counter with one of the knives missing from its slot. A wide slot. This is a knife big enough to be used as a weapon.

I scan the room.

The sink.

The knife is sitting on a cutting board next to the sink, ten feet away from us. A safe distance away.

I relax and exhale. I sit at the table, and I reach into my backpack and take out a ballpoint pen.

Jacks dad looks at me from the refrigerator, a question on his face.

You taking notes?

When you talk baseball, I listen, I say.

Jacks dad smiles. I smile.

When in doubt, emulate.

I turn the cap until it clicks, exposing the point.