Paul Jones - Towards Yesterday

The noise from the street was deafening. Excited shouting and singing blended with the occasional burst of raucous laughter, which in turn combined with the happy squeals of drunken women.

The whoop-whoop of a police cruisers siren fought to make itself heard over the combined voices of thousands of inebriated revelers. Instead, it became a counterpoint to the melody of raised voices and singing rising from the mass of dancing bodies as the squad car slowly pushed its way through their midst.

Jim Baston, his eyes red and tired, tried to concentrate on the paragraph he was writing, but the blare of the rowdy crowd below his window was just too distracting.

Save tonights work and forward a copy to the house inbox, please, he sighed eventually, before exasperation could get the better of him.

Yes Jim. The female voice of the computers AI was soft and comforting. Ive done as you requested Jim, the AI said a second later. Is there anything else you would like?

No thank you. You can shut down. I wont need you for the rest of the night.

Very well. Oh! And Jim

Yes?

Happy New Year.

You too, he whispered, and looked around at the sparsely decorated room.

For the past ten years, he had been coming to this same hotel. Same room, every time. He was on first name terms with the owners John and Caroline, a pleasant couple from North Carolina so he didnt even have to tell them his name when he called a couple of weeks ahead to confirm his arrival. His reservation for the following year penciled in each time he ended his stay.

This was usually the quiet part of the city, but for some reason, the crowds had chosen to congregate under his window. He could only imagine what it would be like in the more popular areas.

The sense of frustration he had felt at the disturbance of his work still burned in his chest. He felt like throwing open the windows and screaming at the crowd to shut the hell up! Couldnt they see he was trying to work? Didnt they know how important this book was to him?

Of course, who could blame them? It was, after all, New Years Eve, and if he had even half a life and twenty less years on his clock, he would be out there too, welcoming in the New Year in as much of a drunken stupor as the rest of the city.

Instead, he stood, stretched his aching arms careful to avoid the ceiling fan twirling almost noiselessly above his head walked stiffly to the window, pulled up the blinds, pushed open the French doors and stepped out onto his balcony.

The noise that had been a grumbling rumble now became a cacophony, bolstered by the hundreds of Jazz and Salsa bands scattered throughout the city. The sound swelled up like a wave over the balcony, rushing over him. From his third-story vantage point, Jim looked out over a significant part of New Orleans, the citys incandescent glow helping the full moon fight back the surrounding darkness. Far off to the south a thick roll of thunderheads, black and roiling, threatened a damp end to the year.

Rain or not, Jim didnt think a sudden soaking was going to do anything to squelch the spirits of the tens-ofthousands of revelers walking the streets this night.

Resting a shoulder against the doorjamb, he pulled an already open softpack of Marlboros from his shirt pocket, tapping the pack against his thumb. Jim lit the cigarette with an antique Zippo, sheltering the fragile flame from the light breeze gusting over the rooftops with a cupped hand.

He took a long drag, held the smoke in his lungs for a few moments before exhaling it into the cool evening air in one long, slow breath. He was trying to give the things up, weaning himself off them slowly by using the promise of the nicotine rush as a reward. Each time he completed fivepages of the book, he got to have a smoke.

Of course, he had been using the exact same excuse for the past ten years. So, it didnt look like his technique was working too well. And at twenty dollars a pack, it was amazing anyone could still afford to smoke the damn things. Countries and presidents, ideologies and industry; they all came and went, but cigarettes outlived the lot of them. Jim wasnt sure whether that was a testament to the resilience of peoples freedom of choice or just to the obscene amount of money tobacco companies still threw into their marketing and advertising campaigns.

He hadnt completed his five-page quota today; it wasnt for lack of trying on his part, and hed be damned if he was going to take a ride on the guilt-trip-express just because he fell down this once.

Its New Years Eve for Gods sake, he reminded himself.

Jim glanced at his wristwatch. It was almost 10 pm. There was still two hours left until the ball would be dropping in Times Square.

If he was quick he could change into some fresh clothes and head to one of the bars littering Bourbon Street. Jim didnt want to see in the coming year stuck in a room on his own.

He would take a wander down Bourbon Street and see the sights; have a few drinks and maybe he would even treat himself to a cigar.

Thats what he loved about this city, you could amble through the streets drinking a glass of wine and smoking a big fat stogy if you wanted, and no one would look at you sideways. If he tried doing that in LA, he would have half-a-dozen unemployed actors between jobs, they would be quick to correct yelling in his face how much harm he was doing to himself, how he was depleting the ozone, blah-blah-blah. Hed heard the same arguments for the last half-a-century. Even good sense can start to stink if your nose gets rubbed in it for long enough, he thought.

Jim laughed at himself, a quiet half-mocking snort. A cigarette, the promise of booze and a cigar, damn he was living dangerously these days.

What the hell! Why should he care? He was sixty years old, after all. A couple of smokes and a few drinks werent going to shorten his life by more than a couple of minutes. He deserved a break. He had thrown himself into the latest book with more gusto than usual. It had consumed him for the past four months, but it had also taken a toll on him, both physically and mentally. A few hours away from it would do him good, give him a chance to clear his mind and reset his imagination.

Jim Baston had never once encountered writers-block during his career as a writer. Twelve books, all of them in the top ten of all the right bestseller lists. The books had flowed from him. He had written them on the fly, straight from his imagination to the computer. The completed novel invariably needed little in the way of editing; such was the clarity with which he was usually able to visualize the story and its characters in his mind.

But this one was different. It was his first work of non-fiction, an autobiography of sorts.

Facing his past was difficult, painful even. So many mistakes locked away, hidden in the darkness of his earlier life. And, as he released each memory from its mental holding-cell, carefully removing the psychic padlock that kept them safely sealed away, he was forced to confront them in all their horrible glory.

As he watched the thunderheads moving closer to the city, Jim realized just how weary he truly was. It was a fatigue that started deep in the marrow of his bones, radiating out through every sinew, along every vein and nerve ending, resonating every atom of his body.