Dylan Taylor-Lehman - Sealand: The True Story of the World’s Most Stubborn Micronation and Its Eccentric Royal Family

Copyright 2020 by Dylan Taylor-Lehman

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Diversion Books

A division of Diversion Publishing Corp.

443 Park Avenue South, suite 1004

New York, NY 10016

www.diversionbooks.com

First Diversion Books edition, June 2020

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-63576-726-1

eBook ISBN: 978-1-63576-636-3

Printed in The United States of America

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Library of Congress cataloging-in-publication data is available on file.

To Pamela, wild royalty

CONTENTS

Introduction

The Old Man and the Sea (Fort)

_____________

Its no good having weapons if youre not prepared to use them.
Michael Bates

M ichael Bates, a fifteen-year-old from a fishing town in southeastern England, stood shivering with excitement and fear on top of an old naval platform seven miles out in the roiling North Sea. It was the middle of the night in late summer 1967, and he had in his hands a beer bottle filled with gasoline and stuffed with a strip of old cloth. The chance to throw a Molotov cocktail at something was any young boys dream come true, but in this case it was actually necessary: A small boat bobbing in the sea below was full of men looking to invade his familys fortress, and Michael alone was tasked with defending it.

The Bates family knew that invasion was likely at any time, and this is why Michael had stashed numerous firebombs along the perimeter wall of the fort he called home. The bombs sat next to chunks of metal and wood to be used for pelting, and there was even a homemade shotgun if things got especially hairy. The invaders had strength in numbers, but Michael had the literal higher ground, from which he could drop the bombs.

The fort was a simple but improbable structure, comprised of a metal deck spanning two massive concrete pillars that rose out of the open ocean. When it was light, Michael could see all the way to the horizon and could easily spot any approaching vessel. He was asleep when the boats puttered over, but, attuned to the sonorous murmurings of the sea, he jumped up from his slumber at the disturbance and ran crouching to the perimeter of the fort.

Oh shit , he thought. Here we go again.

This was at least the sixth time that summer that someone had tried to take over the fort. Originally called Roughs Tower, it was built during World War II to protect the Thames channel from Axis bombers. Following the war, the fort sat abandoned in international waters for twenty years until competing groups of pirate radio broadcasters realized how perfect it was for broadcasting outside the UKs restrictive radio laws. Thanks to subterfuge and straight-up physical force, it was Michaels family that currently held the reins to this extraterritorial kingdom. Michaels fathera businessman, war hero, and raconteur named Roy Bateswas the man in charge, and he had indeed launched his own pirate radio station and stashed Michael on the fort to keep it secure.

And so, on that summer night, young Michael stayed low and hidden as the boats puttered in the darkness closer to the huge pillars. He fumbled with a lighter, flicking the flint until he finally ignited the rag in the bottle full of gas.

Its no good having weapons if youre not prepared to use them, he later said. Freedom is a very fragile thing.

As the small yellow dinghy got into a strategic position alongside one of the pillars, Michael smiled a sadistic smile like Kevin in Home Alone and dropped the bomb directly onto the front of the inflatable craft. Tiny points of light were reflected in the occupants eyes as the bottle fell in slow motion. Bullseye!

The bottle exploded, the roar of the flames echoing under the fort, the choppy waves illuminated by the glorious orange clouds. The men on the boat yelped and dove into the water as the raft shriveled in the flames, spun in a few circles, and then sunk limply into the abyss. The smell of burned plastic hung in the air, and the trespassers clung helplessly to the rough concrete pillars, trying to protect their heads from the chunks of metal and wood raining down from above.

As the waterlogged invaders were picked up by their comrades and taken back to shore, Michael smiled a huge smile. He was prince of the sea. He had kicked their asses, and he couldnt wait to tell his dad.

A BURNING BOAT is only the prelude to the adventure, intrigue, and family togetherness that would play out on Roughs Tower for a half century. Michael defended the fort with the same fervor one might a homeland, and thats because it eventually was. Roy Bates saw opportunity in the fort when he took it over, and he realized the scope of that opportunity would be even greater with the authority of statehood. And so, on September 2, 1967, Roughs Tower became the Principality of Sealand, the worlds newest and smallest country. Roy became Prince Roy, his wife Princess Joan, and Michael and his sister Penelope, prince and princess. The normal trappings of statehood soon followed, including coins, stamps, passports, a flag, and a constitution. The Sealanders would be joined by many proud citizens over the yearsa cast of adventurers, rogues, conmen, and cypherpunks all happy to call the principality home and go head-to-head with the British government.

Sealand has now been around for more than fifty years, longer than Dubai has been in existence, as Prince Michael points out. This book is a chronicle of the principalitys storied history, from its pre-Sealand days as a claustrophobic military readout to an experiment in nation-building that has inspired micronations on every continent.

Our life has always been rich in adventure. You cannot imagine all that took place on Sealand, Princess Joan said. For starters, there have been weddings, battles, attempted coups, and a half-marathon run on the fort. The principality served as an offshore data haven, challenging internet laws that had yet to be written. The principalitys legal claims have delighted scholars of international law, while others view Sealand as a social experiment on how we might conduct ourselves when climate change forces us to live at sea in Waterworld- ian floating enclaves. Athletes have been proud to compete in the principalitys name, and a Sealand flag even made it to the summit of Mount Everest. But like any nation, there have been numerous challenges to the principalitys leadership: Forged Sealand passports have been used in crimes all over the world, and, lurking in the shadows is a bizarre exile government of quasi-Nazi mystics vying to harness a mystical energy called Vril.

Maintaining Sealand introduced enormous amounts of stress and financial hardship to the family and led many to wonder why anyone would hold onto the rusting maritime heap. But the endeavor has been a unique cause to rally aroundone that has drawn the Bates family closer together. The story of Roy and Joan Bates is one of storybook devotion, a powerful romance filled with ups and downs and schemes and theatrics. The family now boasts a fourth generation of Sealandic royalty: youngsters that have yet to throw firebombs at invading boats but whose lives will no doubt harken the example set by their feisty forebears.

At its very core, the story of Sealand is an inspiring tale of daring and self-determination in a world of homogeneity, a quixotic adventure that has accomplished more than even Roy Bates thought possible. Defending themselves from imperial governments and rapscallion usurpers, Sealanders have always managed to come out on top, and the tiny nations motto encapsulates this rogue spirit.