As an emotionally sensitive person, I love this book! Karyn does an outstanding job of addressing this delicate topic with both empathy and compassion. The Emotionally Sensitive Person provides a practical guide for successful coping that also serves to inspire. Highly recommended.
Amanda L. Smith, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) therapist and treatment consultant
The Emotionally Sensitive Person is exceptional. This unique manual, compassionately written by Karyn D. Hall, will appeal to and serve the needs of those who live with highly sensitive emotions. She highlights proven methods to consciously and skillfully manage unhelpful thoughts and behaviors by following and practicing personalized exercises. Read, practice, experience, and enjoy The Emotionally Sensitive Person as you learn new ways to enhance your life.
Diane and Jim Hall, educators for National Alliance on Mental Illness Family-to-Family and NEA.BPDs Family Connections programs
Emotionally sensitive people will want to keep this compassionate, instructional guidebook on their nightstands. Halls clinical wisdom shines through as she offers numerous helpful tools, informed by dialectical behavior therapy, to be used immediately to better cope with ones emotional states. I will recommend this self-help book to my own clients to complement and enhance the psychotherapy.
Alec L. Miller, PsyD, professor of clinical psychiatry and behavioral sciences, Montefiore Medical Center, Albert Einstein College of Medicine, and cofounder, Cognitive and Behavioral Consultants, LLP
This book takes readers by the hand and gently introduces them to the struggle, suffering, and hidden potential of the emotionally sensitive person. Drawing from her wealth of clinical experience, Hall presents essential strategies to support the development of emotional sensitivity into a strength. The chapters are well organized and concisely written. Therapeutic exercises are practical with clear and concise instructions. Anyone who has been accused of being too sensitive can benefit from this book!
Elizabeth W. Newlin, MD, assistant professor in the Menninger department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Baylor College of Medicine and director of the adolescent treatment program at the Menninger Clinic
For anyone whos ever thought of themselves as emotionally sensitiveor someone whos lived with someone who isthis book is an invaluable gem. Using proven therapeutic techniques, Hall delivers on helping people keep their emotional sensitivity, but honing it so that it is more beneficial than hurtful. I cant imagine a better resource for those who are grappling with this issue in their lives.
John M. Grohol, PsyD, founder and CEO of psychcentral.com, the Internets leading mental health site
Karyn D. Hall brings a wealth of wisdom and experience to the pages of her new book, The Emotionally Sensitive Person. With practical advice and useful exercises, she teaches us how to dismantle an emotional roller coaster style and to replace it with just the right amount of sensitivity and feeling. Highly recommended!
John M. Oldham, MD, chief of staff at the Menninger Clinic and professor of psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine
Publishers Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright 2014 by Karyn Hall
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup; Acquired by Melissa Kirk; Edited by Will DeRooy
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file
epub ISBN: 9781608829958
For Chris
Acknowledgments
Im grateful to so many who supported and contributed to this project. Emotionally sensitive people all over the world shared generously and bravely about living with emotional sensitivity. Please know that all examples represent a combination of different peoples experiences. All names have been altered, and any resemblance to any single individual is conincidental.
My thinking is heavily influenced by the work of Marsha Linehan, PhD, who created dialectical behavior therapy. Thank you also to Shari Manning, PhD, and Helen Best at Treatment Implementation Collaborative, who always encourage growth with inspiring integrity.
My gratitude to Suzanne Robinson, Kelly Guynes, Pamela Jones, Joseph Pentony, Rebecca Ciatto, Lindsay Raymer, Beverly Bontrager, Meggan Watson, and Angela Tallo, who are all a constant source of wisdom. Kraig Dunn is amazingly skillful and makes even the most outrageous ideas a reality. Im sure he will some day find a way to have horses on the roof of our office building. Carla Sharp, PhD, and Allison Kalpakci, BS, designed a research study in addition to their already full schedules.
This book wouldnt exist without the gifted professionals at New Harbinger Publications. Thank you to Melissa Kirk and Jess Beebe in particular. Jueli Garfinkle and Will DeRooy in some magical way turned my ramblings into meaningful text. This book makes sense because of them.
Im grateful to my friends and family members who accepted the long hours I spent writing and rewriting, especially Michelle Meisenhalder and Ray and Barbara Meisenhalder. I am always and forever grateful to Chris, who unconditionally helps me pursue my dreams.
Introduction
Emotionally sensitive people are those who experience intense emotions more frequently and for longer periods of time than most people do. Given that youve picked up this book, chances are that you see yourself or someone you know as emotionally sensitive.
Perhaps you recognize the challenges faced by Alisha, Harold, or Nicole:
When Alisha found out that Roger had cheated on her repeatedly throughout their marriage, she filed for divorce. Yet she couldnt bring herself to ask him to move out of the housein addition to fearing that he would be upset with her, she was worried about how she would feel without him around. So now, a couple of years later, they still live together, and she supports him. After all, she explains to her friends, he has no place to go and has difficulty managing his money. She hates that her fear of feeling bad keeps her from making the decision she knows makes the most sense (i.e., to ask him to leave). She realizes it shows a lack of self-respect.
Harold worries about unintentionally offending others and struggles with saying no. He stays on the phone for hours with upset friends and acquaintances to the point he isnt getting daily tasks completed. He doesnt watch the news because it makes him sad.
Nicole sees herself as weak, as not good enough. Shes often in tears, angry, or sad when no one else is. Others tell her she wears her heart on her sleeve and lets everything get to her. These comments and many more make her feel different and misunderstood.
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