Siegel - Stop Overreacting: Effective Strategies for Calming Your Emotions

Although we live in a complex world filled with challenges and disappointments, some people are better equipped to handle it than others. Why is it that some can reflect and respond to stressful situations in an honest but calm way while others just explode? Why do some withdraw or get deeply pessimistic when others can just let a troubling comment go? Have there been times when you found yourself so angry that you couldnt see straight? Do people ever tell you that your interpretation of events is way out of line? Have reactions that seemed justified at the time proven to be inappropriate and damaging? This book is written for people who realize that their behavior is often influenced by emotional turbulence that they dont understand and cant seem to control.

For years I have worked with people who have suffered the consequences of intense reactions. Only in hindsight can they reevaluate the actions that have hurt the people they love and complicated their lives. Perhaps this is your story as well. Perhaps you have lost your temper or made a hasty decision that has haunted you for years. If looking back on the things you have done in the past fills you with regret, then the information in this book may help you turn things around.

My approach to this problem is based on years of experience, as well as the latest research. In 1990, President George Bush announced financial support for research on neurobiology and started what is now dubbed the Decade of the Brain. This research confirmed the mind-body connection and has spawned hundreds of additional research studies that explain how the brain regulates emotions. Much of this research confirms my clinical experience with individuals, couples, and families who have struggled with problems that are created or exacerbated by emotional overreactions.

I view overreaction as an experience that involves both mind and body, past and present. In the first section of this book, I explain how beliefs, emotions, and physiological responses combine to create overreactions. In the second section, I examine envy, rejection, criticism, and controleveryday dynamics that frequently trigger overreactions. These chapters illustrate how an overreaction begins and unfolds, as well as ways to keep a more balanced perspective. In the third section, I present common situations that may arise in work and family relationships. Whether with coworkers, supervisors, customers, employees, spouses, parents, or children, overreactions can create havoc and complicate our lives. In the final section of this book, I review different strategies that will help you restore calm so that you can access responses that are thoughtful and appropriate. I also suggest ways to challenge beliefs and make peace with the past so that you will be less likely to react to situations that have triggered overreactions in the past.