American Boychoir School - Dirt roads & diner pie: one couples road trip to recovery from childhood sexual abuse

Special Praise for

DIRT ROADS & DINER FIE

Dirt Roads & Diner Pie is filled with irony and humor, as well as heartbreaking, compassionate honesty. This is a story told with grace, and in Shonnas wise and loving words, it sings.

MORGAN CALLAN ROGERS
Author of Red Ruby Heart in a Cold Blue Sea and Written on My Heart

How many relationships end because the pain and shame of ones past is projected onto their partner? As a professional who specializes in childhood sexual trauma, as well as a survivor myself, Dirt Roads & Diner Pie chillingly illustrates how insidious sexual abuse can be, and how subtly it can deteriorate even a loving relationship.

Reading this book was a rare opportunity to follow a couple on the brink and to sit in the backseat of a last-ditch-effort road trip to salvage their marriage. The love Humphrey has for her husband is evident in the tales of their journey, as is the exhaustion, frustration, and fear that stems from feeling helpless day after day. She presents an important reminder that the partners and family of childhood sexual abuse survivors are not on the sidelinesthey are on the front lines. Humphrey also reminds the reader of the power of love, courage, commitment, and the willingness to walk through the darkness rather than run away from it. I appreciate that it wasnt happily ever after in the end, because past trauma never goes away. However, those living with trauma can learn to love themselves, and in the case of this story, so can their partners.

BRENNON P. MOORE MS, CTT, CADC-II, LPC
The RefugeA Healing Place

If shame is the most toxic emotion, compassion and humor are the most powerful antidotes. Shonna Milliken Humphrey delivers both. Simultaneously soft-hearted and ferocious, she is the ideal guide to lead us across the broken ground of child sexual abuse.

HANNAH HOLMES
Author of Quirk: Brain Science Makes Sense of Your Peculiar Personality; The Well-Dressed Ape; The Secret Life of Dust; and Suburban Safari

Every man who is able to have his story heard is not only taking an important step for his own recovery and healing but is also helping to protect future children from having to live through the same abuse. As the director of Male Survivor, the largest support organization for male survivors of sexual trauma, I fully endorse this book and Shonnas efforts to bring this issue into a broader, public conversation.

CHRISTOPHER M. ANDERSON
Executive Director, MaleSurvivor

Shonna Milliken Humphrey long has walked the difficult walk of the spouse of a sexual abuse victim. She has now extended a much-needed hand to others in her shoes and opened a large window of understanding needed by the rest of us.

SUZANNE STREMPEK SHEA
Author of Sundays in America; Shelf Life; and Songs from a Lead-Lined Room

Central Recovery Press (CRP) is committed to publishing exceptional materials addressing addiction treatment, recovery, and behavioral healthcare topics.

For more information, visit www.centralrecoverypress.com.

2016 by Shonna Milliken Humphrey

All rights reserved. Published 2016.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

Publisher: Central Recovery Press

3321 N. Buffalo Drive

Las Vegas, NV 89129

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Names: Humphrey, Shonna Milliken, author.

Title: Dirt roads and diner pie: one couples road trip to recovery from childhood sexual abuse / Shonna Milliken Humphrey.

Description: Las Vegas: Central Recovery Press, 2016.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016006393 (print) | LCCN 2016019801 (e-book) | ISBN 9781942094234 (e-book)

Subjects: LCSH: Adult child sexual abuse victimsFamily relationshipsUnited States. | Child sexual abusePsychological aspects. | Humphrey, Shonna MillikenTravelSouthern States. | Humphrey, Travis JamesTravelSouthern States. | TravelPsychological aspects. | Married peopleUnited StatesBiography. | Adult child sexual abuse victimsUnited StatesBiography. | Humphrey, Travis JamesChildhood and youth. | Sexually abused boysNew JerseyPrincetonBiography. |American Boychoir SchoolHistory. | BISAC: BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY / Personal Memoirs. | FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Abuse / Child Abuse. |PSYCHOLOGY / Psychopathology / Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). |FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Conflict Resolution.

Classification: LCC HV6570.2 .H857 2016 (print) | LCC HV6570.2 (e-book) | DDC 362.76092/273 [B] dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016006393

Photo of Shonna Milliken Humphrey by Erin Irish. Used with permission.

Excerpt of Now from The Executive Director of the Fallen World by Liam Rector, published by the University of Chicago Press. Reprinted with permission of the University of Chicago Press.

Every attempt has been made to contact copyright holders. If copyright holders have not been properly acknowledged, please contact us. Central Recovery Press will be happy to rectify the omission in future printings of this book.

Publishers Note: This book contains general information about childhood sexual abuse, behavioral health disorders/dysfunction, behavioral healthcare matters, and related issues. The information is not medical advice. This book is not an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.

This is a memoira work based on fact recorded to the best of the authors memory. Our books represent the experiences and opinions of their authors only. Every effort has been made to ensure that events, institutions, and statistics presented in our books as facts are accurate and up-to-date. To protect their privacy, the names of some of the people, places, and institutions in this book may have been changed.

Cover design and interior by Marisa Jackson.

FOR ELISABETH WILKINS LOMBARDO

who ranked among my husbands greatest champions

Table of Contents

AUTHORS NOTE

While this memoir chronicles an actual month-long United States road trip, I have adjusted some names and identifying details to protect the privacy of family and friends. Where appropriate, these instances are identified within the context of the narrative. Conversations and event sequences are expressed in service to the narrative and to the best of my recollection.