Barr Deborah - Keeping love alive as memories fade: the 5 love languages and the Alzheimers journey

Through stories that are moving and unflinching, Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade shows how love can persist even as dementia gradually erodes memory and physical abilities. It offers powerful testimony to the lasting nature and immense power of human relationships.

PETER V. RABINS, MD, MPH | Coauthor, The 36-Hour Day

Eds personal and professional stories will resonate with caring couples and families desperately seeking reminders of the transformative resilience of loving long-term relationships. Long overdue, this book reminds families that although they dont have to do it all, meaningful connections can make a difference in the quality of family life despite progressive cognitive decline.

LISA P. GWYTHER, MSW, LCSW | Director, Duke (Alzheimers) Family Support Program, Duke Health, and coauthor, The Alzheimers Action Plan

Love lives on during times of loss, and there is profound value and redemption in intentionally expressing both the love and the grief that is part of the Alzheimers journey. Yes! Be open. Be kind. The world needs more compassionate, love-affirming books like this.

ALAN D. WOLFELT, PHD | Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and author of Healing Your Grieving Heart When Someone You Care About Has Alzheimers

As a geriatrician, I am all too familiar with Alzheimers disease and the devastating effect it can have upon those afflicted and those who care for them. Alzheimers and other dementias are the most terrifying complications of growing older, more feared than cancer, heart disease, and even death itself. So whether you simply wish to know more about these increasingly epidemic disorders, or especially if you are already dealing with their losses and challenges in yourself or a loved one, Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade should be required reading. Artfully crafted and compellingly written, this compact volume brings hope, insight, and practical coping strategies into clear focus. For indeed love is the answer, and its flame must be kept alight through every phase of this journey to its end.

WILLIAM R. HAZZARD, MD | Professor of Internal Medicine, Section on Gerontology and Geriatric Medicine, Wake Forest School of Medicine, Wake Forest Baptist Health

Brilliant minds come together in this essential guide through the Alzheimers journey! I would have loved this book when my mom was fading away. Real-life examples help you learn how to stay connected with the loved one you are watching disappear; specific daily exercises and tactics can help you stay in touch and in love. This roadmap of the Alzheimers brain allows you to follow along, adapting and changing your interaction with a brain that is continuously changing with each stage of this disease. You cant fix what is breaking, but you can break through with unconditional love.

LANIE POPE | Chief Meteorologist, WXII News, Winston-Salem, NC

A much-needed and refreshingly instructive guide devoted to the essential discussion of relationship, intimacy, and the complexities of connection at all stages in the dementia experience. Many wise books counsel caregivers on learning the language of dementia, but in the illuminating text of Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade, the authors remind us of our deeply rooted shared humanity with persons with dementia, and that learning the transformative language of love is indeed the most profound, affirming, and enduring form of communication.

LISA SNYDER, MSW, LCSW | University of California, San Diego Author, Speaking Our Minds: What Its Like to Have Alzheimers

2016 by
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE CONSULTANTS, INC., DEBORAH BARR, and EDWARD G. SHAW

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible (AMPC), copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org.

Edited by Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse
Interior design: Erik M. Peterson
Gary Chapman photo: P.S. Photography
Debbie Barr and Edward Shaw photos: Alysia Grimes
Cover design: Connie Gabbert Design and Illustration

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Chapman, Gary D.- author. | Barr, Deborah, author. | Shaw, Edward G., author.

Title: Keeping love alive as memories fade : the 5 love languages and the Alzheimers journey / Gary Chapman, PhD, Deborah Barr, MA, MCHES, Edward G. Shaw, MD, MA.

Description: Chicago : Northfield Publishing, [2016] | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016028240 (print) | LCCN 2016035160 (ebook) | ISBN 9780802414502 | ISBN 9780802494412 ()

Subjects: LCSH: Alzheimers disease--Patients--Care.

Classification: LCC RC523 .C45 2016 (print) | LCC RC523 (ebook) | DDC 616.8/31--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016028240

ISBN: 978-0-8024-1450-2

We hope you enjoy this book from Northfield Publishing. Our goal is to provide high-quality, thought-provoking books and products that connect truth to your real needs and challenges. For more information on other books and products that will help you with all your important relationships, go to 5lovelanguages.com or write to:

Northfield Publishing
820 N. LaSalle Boulevard
Chicago, IL 60610

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Printed in the United States of America

Dedicated to Rebecca Easterly Shaw,
loving daughter, sister, wife, mother, and friend

Gary Chapman, PhD, has been a pastor and marriage counselor for more than 35 years. He is the author of the book that inspired this one: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, which has now sold over 10 million copies worldwide and has been translated into 50 languages. A prolific writer, Gary has also authored Love Languages editions for men, singles, and parents, as well as numerous books on marriage, anger, apology, and other topics. He speaks to thousands of couples across the country through weekend marriage conferences and hosts two nationally syndicated radio programs. As the originator of the five love languages, Garys insights on the expression of love in human relationships undergird each chapter.

Deborah Barr, MA,MCHES, is a master certified health education specialist and journalist. An experienced wellness writer, Debbie brought a health educators perspective to numerous aspects of the book, including the detrimental health effects of long-term caregiving and the looming Alzheimers disease epidemic. Her familiarity with the love languages is longstanding, having provided editorial support for Gary as he wrote the original 5 Love Languages book. While working as clinic coordinator for the Memory Counseling Program at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center, she learned that Ed Shaw was incorporating the five love languages into his dementia counselingand the idea for this book was born. As the lead writer and information gatherer for the team, the book is primarily written in her voice. Like Drs. Chapman and Shaw, she resides in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. This is her fourth book.