Kenneth R. Ginsburg - A parents guide to building resilience in children and teens: giving your child roots and wings

Library of Congress Control Number: 2006920251
ISBN-10: 1-58110-226-7
ISBN-13: 978-1-58110-226-0
CB0043

The information contained in this publication should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on the individual facts and circumstances.

Statements and opinions expressed are those of the authors and not necessarily those of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Copyright 2006 Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, MS Ed, FAAP, and Martha M. Jablow. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission from the publisher. Printed in the United States of America.

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American Academy of Pediatrics Department of Marketing and Publications Staff

It would not be possible to thank all the people who supported me in writing this book or inspired me to feel that it should be written, but some must be singled out. My colleagues at the Committee on Communications of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) deserve special mention. They want to communicate to Americas parents that we must support the strengths and resilience of all our children. They have the wisdom to know it is insufficient just to suggest what we dont want children to do. We must make clear all the wonderful expectations we have of youth. I thank the committee chair, Donald Shifrin, MD, FAAP; members Michael Brody, MD; Daniel Broughton, MD, FAAP; Susan Buttross, MD, FAAP; Alberto Gedissman, MD, MMM, FAAP; Rosario Gonzlez-de-Rivas, MD, FAAP; Paul Horowitz, MD, FAAP; Regina Milteer, MD, FAAP; Deborah Mulligan, MD, FACEP, FAAP; Michael Rich, MD, MPH, FAAP; and Brian Wilcox, PhD; and our committed AAP staff Carolyn Kolbaba, Veronica Noland, and Marjorie Tharp for their encouragement, support, and guidance. I thank the AAP for trusting me to take on this important project. In particular, I thank Carolyn Kolbaba and Mark Grimes for the vision to make this project happen and Eileen Glasstetter for her patience and skill in shepherding the book through publication.

I thank Martha Jablow for her wisdom, patience, and clarity of thought. This book never could have become a reality without her skills and perseverance. And I never would have had such joy in writing it without her kindness and good humor.

I gratefully acknowledge the leaders of the resilience movement who have inspired me. In my own field of adolescent medicine, Robert Blum, MD, FAAP, and Michael Resnick, PhD, have led the way. Karen Hein, MD, FAAP, has worked tirelessly to make us understand that we need to support youth so they can reach their full potential. Karen Pittman of the Forum for Youth Investment made a clarion call for our nation to understand quite simply that problem free is not fully prepared.

I thank my professional mentors, Donald Schwarz, MD, FAAP, and Gail B. Slap, MD. I have been so fortunate to have mentors who have had the experience to guide me, the knowledge to enlighten me, the passion and love of youth to transmit to me, and the warmth to care not just about my academic career but about me. I also thank the best teacher I ever had, Judith Lowenthal, PhD, who inspired me (when I was an adolescent) to grasp the potential in every young person.

My first mentors and first teachers, of course, were my parents, Arnold and Marilyn Ginsburg. I learned much of what I have come to see as good parenting in their home. I was also blessed to learn about the strength of family from my grandmother, Belle Moore, who demonstrated unconditional love better than anyone I have known, except for her daughter Marilyn. They were two of a kind. I only hope that I can pass along what I learned from them to my own daughters.

Above all, I thank the young people and their families who have let me into their lives. I am awed by the love I see every day by parents who bring their children to me at The Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia, and I hope that I have served them well. I am moved by the resilience of many of my patients, but in particular the youth of Covenant House Pennsylvania who serve as a constant reminder of the tenacity and strength of the human spirit.

I was strolling along a quaint street with my wife and 2 of our closest friends, both pediatricians, as our combined 5 children happily tagged along behind us. We were reveling in our children and noting how much they sprouted over the summer. I was telling my friends about this book. Vicky looked at her children and said, Quick, tell me the answer. How do you make sure your kids are resilient? Give me a sneak peak at the last page! I laughed nervously and stumbled because I knew the answer wasnt that easy. So here we were, 3 pediatricians and the best mother I know4 child experts, one of whom is writing a book on resilienceand we didnt know the simple answer.

Now that Ive completed writing this book, I know that there is no simple solution that guarantees children will be resilient all the time. In truth, I have never met a human being who has the capability to bounce Back from every difficult circumstance. Yet I am humbled on an almost daily basis by children, teenagers, and adults who demonstrate an ability to rise above challenges and maintain their spirit and optimism in the face of adversity. While I cant promise you that if you follow every piece of advice on these pages, your children will easily negotiate every challenge, I do feel confident that they will be more resilient, more capable, and happier.