Courtney - 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son

Copyright 2011 by Vicki Courtney

All Rights Reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

978-0-8054-4986-0

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 306.874

Subject Heading: BOYS \ PARENT AND CHILD \ PARENTING

Author is represented by Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Other versions include: New Living Translation (NLT), copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.; English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a ministry of the Good News Publishers of Wheaton, IL; and The King James Version (KJV).

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Dedication

To my sons, Ryan and Hayden

Thank you for patiently enduring the conversations contained in this book (or at least pretending to!). One of my greatest joys in life has been raising you two boys from the cradle to college.

I love you!

Acknowledgments

Keith, I continue to acknowledge and thank you in every book, but it bears repeating: I could not do what I do were it not for you picking up the slack (and countless to-go meals!). Thank you also for contributing the Dad:2:Dad bonus material for the 5 Conversations blog. As I read through it, I was struck with how purposeful you have been in discipling our sons over the years. Truly you should be the one writing this book... or at least, one to follow for dads, perhaps? Our sons (and daughter) are so very blessed to have you for a dad. And I am even more blessed to have you for my own. Empty nest years, here we come!

Ryan and Hayden, when you were wee little lads, I would often tell you, while tucking you in at night during our bedtime prayers: "I'm so glad God picked me to be your mama." I mean it more today than ever before. I'm so glad God picked me to be your mama!

I am so very proud of you both and the heart you have for the Lord. I cannot wait to see what He has in store for you in the future. Devote your lives to living for Him and you can't go wrong.

Matt, at the time I am writing the acknowledgements for this book, you are a few weeks shy of proposing to my daughter. When you called her dad and asked for our daughter's hand in marriage, we were beside ourselves with excitement. You are exactly what we pictured all these years when we prayed for our daughter's future husband. Welcome to the family, son!

Lee, every book I write will include a thank-you and a shout-out to my amazing agent,which basically means you cannot retire until I've written my last and final book. Deal?

Jennifer Lyell and B&H crew, thank you so much for partnering with me to get this message out to moms with sons. I feel certain the next title in this series should be 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Yorkies, since I talk nonstop to my pups throughout the day. Let's talk about it... there are lots of dog lovers out there!

To my blog readers with sons who have encouraged me to write this book, cheered me on in the process, and helped out by answering the many questions I've asked about your own parenting journeys: Thank you so much for your support. Your sons are blessed to have such caring and concerned mothers.

And last of all, the acknowledgments would not be complete without giving thanks to the one who enables me to write, speak, live, breathe, and love. I pray this book will bring glory and honor to my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Introduction

As with most of the introductions I've written for past books, I save this task for last. I'm always mindful of the fact that the introduction acts as a first impression for a reader. Therefore I want you to know right up front that I'm not an expert on raising boys. I hold no degrees in childhood development, and I cringe inside when someone mistakenly introduces me as a "teen culture expert," which has been known to happen on occasion. I'm just a mom in the trenches like you, who loves her boys to pieces and desperately wants what's best for them.

When I brought my oldest son home from the hospital, I was at a complete loss as to how to raise a boy. Having a younger brother had given me a small taste of the wonderful world of boys, so I wasn't completely ignorant to common boy antics (like their fascination with belching, passing gas, and talking non-stop about belching and passing gas). When I looked at my precious, innocent newborn son, I had a few flashbacks of some of my brother's testosterone-fueled adventures and felt a shiver go up my spine. Let's see... there was the time he jumped off the roof into a pile of leaves, insisting to his friends it would cushion his fall. For the record, it didn't. Or the time he and a neighbor kid set an abandoned house on fire, and a team of firemen came to our front door to question him (he was hiding in his closet). And who could forget the time he shot me (accidentally) in the fingernail with a BB gun? But the worst memory by far is being forced to share a bathroom with him. (This served as a contributing factor to my daughter getting her own bathroom when we built our house. Enough said.) Two sons later I'm still not quite sure I understand the world of boys any better than I did on the day it all began. Yet hundreds of mildewed socks and tinkled-on-toilet-seats later, I am completely smitten. My boys have stolen my heart. I have a hunch you feel the same way or you probably wouldn't have picked up this book.

You might have noted that the subtitle of this book is From the cradle to college... telling your son the truth about life before he believes the culture's lies.

I have kept you in mind as I've written this book, ever mindful that some of you have sons closer to the cradle season of life, and yet others, like me, have sons closer to the college season of life. Several years ago when I wrote 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter, I did so in my only daughter's senior year of high school. The book released within a month of dropping her off at college (out of state), which made the timing rather ironic. I noted the irony of the timing in the introduction of that book, and yet, here I am again experiencing the same ironic timing. During the course of writing this book, here are a few things I have marked through on my to-do list:

• Attended my youngest son's last-ever high school football game.
• Written checks for my youngest son's senior pictures, graduation invitations, and cap and gown.
• Helped my youngest son apply to colleges and celebrated his decision to attend The University of Texas.
• Celebrated my oldest son's college graduation (Auburn University) and moved him back to his hometown of Austin, Texas.
• Celebrated my oldest son getting his first "real job" and being officially OFF OUR PAYROLL!!
• Celebrated my oldest son's engagement and marriage to a wonderful Christian young lady.

Who would have ever guessed that the timing of the release of this book would coincide with the end of my own sons' cradle to college journeys?! And as if that isn't surreal enough, add to the list:

• Colluded with my daughter's boyfriend (a wonderful Christian young man) to help him come up with the perfect engagement ring and a creative proposal idea.

By the time this book hits the shelves, my oldest son will be married, my youngest son will be packing for college, and my daughter will be preparing to walk down the aisle and say, "I do." Oh, and did I mention that my husband and I will become official "empty-nesters" in the middle of the whirlwind of events? It has been a year filled with emotional whiplash moments as we mourn a long list of last-evers and celebrate many first-evers.