Cohen - Stuff: every man should know

STUFF

Every Man Should Know

By Brett Cohen

Every Man Should Know

By Brett Cohen

Copyright 2009 by Quirk Productions, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2008940482

eISBN: 978-1-59474-470-9

Designed by Doogie Horner and Jenny Kraemer
Illustrations by Vic Kulihin
Production management by John J. McGurk

The jokes on pages 96 and 97 first appeared in Jokes Every Man Should Know by Don Steinberg. Reprinted by permission of the publisher.

Distributed in North America by Chronicle Books
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Quirk Books
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Philadelphia, PA 19106
www.irreference.com
www.quirkbooks.com

Stuff Every Lawyer Should Know: The publisher and author hereby disclaim any liability from any injury that may result from the use, proper or improper, of the information contained in this book. We do not guarantee that this information is safe, complete, or wholly accurate, nor should it be considered a substitute for a readers good judgment and common sense. In other words: Exercise caution when lighting a campfire. Check your surroundings when casting a fishing rod. And never ever propose to a woman via a JumboTron.

To my dad,
for teaching me half of this stuff.

To my wife and family,
for teaching me the rest.

Here are a few things that I learned in school:

How to calculate the circumference of a circle

How to ask May I go to the bathroom? in Spanish

The hierarchy of leadership in the medieval feudal system

Here are a few things that I did not learn in school:

How to calculate my golf handicap

How to pick up a girl in Spanish

The hierarchy of poker hands

Theres a pattern here: School will teach you reading, writing, and everything you need to ace a standardized test. But the classroom will get you only so farespecially if youre a man.

Men should know how to jump-start a car. Men should know how to start a campfire. Men should know how to order wine from a waiter in a five-star restaurant. But if youre like most guys, no one ever told you how to do any of this stuff.

Thats where this book comes in. Its a compendium of all the little things guys are expected to knowfrom doing push-ups and shotgunning a beer to deciphering the Wall Street Journal stock index. Ive included instructions for stocking a bar, filling a toolbox, and buying a basic wardrobe. Along the way Ive included information thats not truly essential but still kind of funso the next time youre challenged to shotgun a beer, youll know exactly what to do.

Now sit back, relax, and pay attention. This stuff is important.

The discovery of fire is one of mans greatest accomplishments. Using these instructions, you should have an easier time than our cavemen counterparts.

Clear an area at least 10 feet (roughly 3 meters) in diameter. Be sure there is no low-hanging debris nearby. If a fire pit already exists, be sure that all materials, such as tents, clothes, and blankets, are at least 3 feet (1 meter) away from the fire pit.

If a fire pit exists, skip ahead to step 3. If not, place rocks or bricks in a circle that is approximately 34 feet (1 meter) in diameter.

Gather materials. You will need a mixture of kindling, sticks, and larger logs.

a. Kindling is light-weight material that will burn quickly and get the fire started. This could be a mixture of twigs, paper, dry leaves, and/or dry pine needles.

The Log-Cabin Fire

b. Sticks should be a little bulkier and broken to fit inside the fire pit. The sticks should be dead and dry.

c. Larger logs should be dry and able to fit safely inside the fire pit.

Place a few handfuls of kindling in the center of the fire pit.

Stack the sticks around the kindling in a teepee form. The sticks should lie at a 45 degree angle from the ground, and you should leave room between the sticks to allow oxygen to flow through the teepee.

Using the thicker sticks, create a square around the teepee structure. You can do this by placing two sticks on either side of the teepee. Next, stack sticks on the other two sides so that the ends overlap in a log-cabin style. Continue until you are five layers high.

Add one or two sticks to the top of the cabin to form a roof. Do not place too many branches on top of the cabin or you will suffocate the fire.

Light a match and place it inside the teepee so that it lights the kindling.

If built properly, the kindling will burn and the teepee will ignite the cabin.

If the fire needs help spreading, you should encourage it by adding kindling and sticks. You can also fan the fire at the base to help it spread.

Fuel the fire with increasingly larger sticks and logs. Remember that larger logs will require sufficient time to heat before burning.

When you are finished with the fire, let the fire and logs burn down. Then, pour several buckets of water on the fire (even if it looks like it has extinguished). If it still smokes, shovel some dirt onto the ashes.

Which ranks higher, a straight or a flush? Before you take your run at the World Series of Poker, its good to know the answer. Heres the ranking of poker hands in a standard game, from best to worst.

Royal Flush: Ace, king, queen, jack, and ten of the same suit

Straight Flush: Any five cards of the same suit in numerical order

Four of a Kind: Four cards with the same number

Full House: Three cards of the same number and two cards of the same number

Flush: Any five cards of the same suit

Straight: Any five cards in numerical order

Three of a Kind: Three cards with the same number

Two Pair: Two cards with the same number and another two cards with the same number

Two of a Kind: Two cards with the same number

In all cases, the higher numerical value takes precedence if there is a tie. For example, two aces beat two nines.

Here are some key poker terms that you may hear throughout the course of a game. Obviously, youll want to understand these terms before you start wagering your hard-earned money.

Pot: The pile of money in the center of the table. Its what youre trying to win.

Ante: A small contribution from each player (before the cards are dealt) to establish the pot. The ante is typically not used in a Texas Hold Emstyle game.

Big blind: The larger of two forced bets in a Texas Hold Emstyle game made before the cards are dealt. This is equivalent to a full first-round bet.

Flop: The first three community cards placed face up at the same time in a game of Hold Em.