Helmanis - Perfect Weddings: Make the Most of Your Memorable Day

Perfect weddings

Simple ideas to plan your wedding day

Infinite Ideas

7. Ring the changes

Tradition has it that you are supposed to hand over two months salary for an engagement ring, and spend whatever you want on the wedding rings, which are usually cheaper because they are usually more simple. Its a big outlay so be sure you make the right choices.

You need to get to grips with some jewellery facts to make sure that you get the best sparkler for the light of your life. So how do you know what to look for?

The cut is the most essential element of the sparkle and there are many of them. There are also fashionable cuts (such as a baguette cut), so you need to get yourself acquainted with them by spending a few afternoons flicking through bridal magazines and visiting a decent jewellers. You dont want to present her with something a dowager would have loved, but she is already planning to lose.

The cut refers to the number, placement, and shape of the facets (flat, polished planes) that create a finished diamond. The shape into which the stone is cut determines its brilliance (white light reflection or sparkle), and fire (reflection of rainbow colours). A good cut can release a stones beauty, just as a bad one makes a stone dull. The next aspect to consider is the clarity, which is how clear the diamond is. The imperfections on the outside are called blemishes and the ones inside are called inclusions. This may seem like a horrifying prospect, buying a less than flawless diamond for your beloved, but most diamonds have imperfections. Another thing that may surprise you is that they are not always white, even if you might think they are. The majority are white or yellow, though they come in most colours of the rainbow. Yellow diamonds tend to be cheaper, although they dont reflect light as well. The weight of your diamond is measured in carats, which is equivalent to 200 milligrams.

So, now you know what you need to spend money on, you need to think about the style of setting. Once again, now is not the time to think about what your mum has worn. Do a bit of James Bond style spying on her. What colours does she like? Rifle through her jewellery box; does she have mainly gold or silver? If its a mix, were some presents that she doesnt ever seem to wear? Is she an ostentatious character or does she loathe fuss? You may want to buy her a rock that has her arm dragging along the floor as a sign of your adoration, but she might feel much more appreciated and understood if you get her a simple vintage setting that reflects her style.

There are many settings to choose from, and all of them can bring something different to the stone. If you want it to really sparkle, choose something that allows as much light through the stone as possible. Traditionally, you would choose to set the stone/stones in one of the three most popular precious metals. These are gold (which comes in various shades; the silver appearance of some rings often being white gold), platinum and titanium. There are the same choices for wedding rings. When it comes to paying for these, it is traditional for the bride to pay for her husbands wedding band, and for him to purchase hers.

MAKING IT SPECIAL

Commissioning your own design can bring an extra special slant to your union, and will be a gesture greatly appreciated by your beloved. Although it might seem like an expensive and time-consuming approach, it could end up giving you the best value. Unmounted diamonds are by far the best deal, and you could get a setting copied if you really like it. Plus, buying a diamond already mounted means that you cannot check its quality. However, it can take weeks to get your ring made up, or to settle on a design if you are commissioning a designer, so build that into your proposal or wedding day schedules.

HOW MUCH?!!

Determine your budget and then play with the different components to get the best combination for you. Is size king or a band of smaller, well cut super sparkly gleamers that you can see from three streets away? Decide what shape, carat weight, and colour you want. And be prepared to haggle; there is often a margin for play built into the price. Then get it home, and please insure any rings before you give them to the best man.

How did it go?

QIn her will, my grandmother left me her engagement ring to present to my future wife. We were close, and I would love to do that, but its a rather old-fashioned cluster in a gold setting; my bride is a modern blonde who only wears silver. What should I do?

ALucky you. This is easy to fix. You can have the stones removed and reset. Depending on your taste, you could take the larger central stone and have it set in a silver band, and then take smaller jewels and have them turned into earrings for your wedding to her.

QIsnt it disrespectful to break up the old ring?

AIm sure your grandmother would rather the jewels were worn in some form than not at all. Why not take a photograph of it and write the lineage of it on the back as a keepsake, and your wife might choose to bequeath it to one of your kids a family tradition could be born, but one that keeps up with the times.

Heres an idea for you

Think of messages you could have engraved on the inside of your rings perhaps a pet name, the date you met, the date of your marriage or both of your initials.

Defining idea

With this ring, I thee wed, with my body I thee worship and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.

Wedding vow, Book of Common Prayer

8. How to be the best best man

So, whats this best man lark all about? There is more to it than ensuring the groom is never left with an empty glass at his stag do. Traditionally, it was the best mans duty to protect the groom from bad luck, and ensure that once he had begun his journey to the church he actually got there (no matter how substantial the bribe).

Sorry, but if anything goes wrong, it kind of is the best mans fault. So here is a simple guide to what you should be doing to prove your mettle.

You should start by getting the contact details of the maid of honour or chief bridesmaid. This way youll be able to liaise on arrangements and queries (such as Where is the bride?!). And although the jokes about the best man having first crack at the bridesmaids might be funny, they are just that: jokes. Those posh dresses they are wearing are not wrapping paper, and you will have to talk to them a lot in the run up to the wedding, so leave any indiscretions until the reception (where you can make a hasty retreat).

You also need to sit and work a few things out with the groom. He may ask you to help to choose the ushers and explain their duties to them, and even oversee them on the day. Compile a list of close family members who should have special seating arrangements at the ceremony and pass it on to the ushers. Transport is part of your domain too, so visit the ceremony and the reception venues to check on timings and parking arrangements; you dont want to discover the brides limo can only stop to let her out two blocks away. (For extra points, check the traffic conditions on the big day.) You will also be expected to attend the wedding rehearsal and arrange the going-away car for the bride and groom from the reception if required. (Stick an emergency list of taxi companies on your schedule list so you can save the day should needs must.)

The day before, you are your grooms wing man, but you really need to be available to him for the whole week before and do things such as collect any hired clothing and accessories. Youll have to badger the groom to make sure he has all the necessary documents for the ceremony and the honeymoon. You also need to organise decorations for the going-away car, which can be as simple as a single ribbon, tastefully tied, or something more along the jovial theme of tin cans and shaving foam. Just make sure that the driver can still see where hes going.