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Chua - Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

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Chua Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
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An awe-inspiring, often hilarious, and unerringly honest story of one mothers exercise in extreme parenting, revealing the rewards-and the costs-of raising her children the Chinese way.

All decent parents want to do whats best for their children. What Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reveals is that the Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that. Western parents try to respect their childrens individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions and providing a nurturing environment. The Chinese believe that the best way to protect your children is by preparing them for the future and arming them with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chuas iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, her way-the Chinese way-and the remarkable results her choice inspires.

Here are some things Amy Chua would never allow her daughters to do:

? have a playdate

? be in a school play

? complain about not being in a school play

? not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama

? play any instrument other than the piano or violin

? not play the piano or violin

The truth is Lulu and Sophia would never have had time for a playdate. They were too busy practicing their instruments (two to three hours a day and double sessions on the weekend) and perfecting their Mandarin.

Of course no one is perfect, including Chua herself. Witness this scene:

According to Sophia, here are three things I actually said to her at the piano as I supervised her practicing:

  1. Oh my God, youre just getting worse and worse.

  2. Im going to count to three, then I want musicality.

  3. If the next times not PERFECT, Im going to take all your stuffed animals and burn them!

But Chua demands as much of herself as she does of her daughters. And in her sacrifices-the exacting attention spent studying her daughters performances, the office hours lost shuttling the girls to lessons-the depth of her love for her children becomes clear. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is an eye-opening exploration of the differences in Eastern and Western parenting- and the lessons parents and children everywhere teach one another.


Library : General
Formats : EPUB
ISBN : 9781594202841

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Table of Contents ALSO BY AMY CHUA Day of Empire How Hyperpowers Rise to - photo 1
Table of Contents

ALSO BY AMY CHUA
Day of Empire: How Hyperpowers Rise to Global Dominanceand Why They Fall

World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy
Breeds Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability
THE PENGUIN PRESS Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Group USA Inc - photo 2
THE PENGUIN PRESS
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A. Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London W C2R 0RL, England
Penguin Ireland, 25 St. Stephens Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) Penguin Books Australia Ltd, 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa
Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
First published in 2011 by The Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Copyright Amy Chua, 2011
All rights reserved
Portions of Chapter Four first appeared as On Becoming American in Defining a Nation: Our America and the Sources of Its Strength, edited by David Halberstam (National Geographic, 2003).
Photograph credits
Bachrach Photography: page 30
Susan Bradley Photography: 168
Peter Z. Mahakian: 216, 223
All other photographs from the authors family collection.
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING IN PUBLICATION DATA

Chua, Amy.
Battle hymn of the tiger mother / Amy Chua.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
eISBN: 9781101479629
1. Chua, Amy. 2. Mothers-United States-Biography. 3. Chinese American women-Biography. 4. Mothers and daughters-China. 5. Mothers and daughters-United States. I. Title.
HQ759.C59 2011
306.8743092dc22
[B] 2010029623
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrightable materials.Your support of the authors rights is appreciated.

http://us.penguingroup.com

For Sophia and Louisa

And for Katrin
This is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. Its also about Mozart and Mendelssohn, the piano and the violin, and how we made it to Carnegie Hall.

This was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones.

But instead, its about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a thirteen-year-old.
Part One
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother - image 3
The Tiger, the living symbol of strength and power, generally inspires fear and respect.
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother - image 4
The Chinese Mother
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereo-typically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what its like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because Ive done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
attend a sleepover
have a playdate
be in a school play
complain about not being in a school play
watch TV or play computer games
choose their own extracurricular activities
get any grade less than an A
not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
play any instrument other than the piano or violin
not play the piano or violin.
Im using the term Chinese mother loosely. I recently met a supersuccessful white guy from South Dakota (youve seen him on television), and after comparing notes we decided that his working-class father had definitely been a Chinese mother. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish, and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise.
Im also using the term Western parents loosely. Western parents come in all varieties. In fact, Ill go out on a limb and say that Westerners are far more diverse in their parenting styles than the Chinese. Some Western parents are strict; others are lax. There are same-sex parents, Orthodox Jewish parents, single parents, ex-hippie parents, investment banker parents, and military parents. None of these Western parents necessarily see eye to eye, so when I use the term Western parents, of course Im not referring to all Western parentsjust as Chinese mother doesnt refer to all Chinese mothers.
All the same, even when Western parents think theyre being strict, they usually dont come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments thirty minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. Its hours two and three that get tough.
Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that stressing academic success is not good for children or that parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun. By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be the best students, that academic achievement reflects successful parenting, and that if children did not excel at school then there was a problem and parents were not doing their job. Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately ten times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams.
This brings me to my final point. Some might think that the American sports parent is an analog to the Chinese mother. This is so wrong. Unlike your typical Western overscheduling soccer mom, the Chinese mother believes that (1) schoolwork always comes first; (2) an A-minus is a bad grade; (3) your children must be two years ahead of their classmates in math; (4) you must never compliment your children in public; (5) if your child ever disagrees with a teacher or coach, you must always take the side of the teacher or coach; (6) the only activities your children should be permitted to do are those in which they can eventually win a medal; and (7) that medal must be gold.
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