Amy Chua - Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Table of Contents

ALSO BY AMY CHUA

Day of Empire: How Hyperpowers Rise to Global Dominanceand Why They Fall

World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy

Breeds Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability

THE PENGUIN PRESS

Published by the Penguin Group

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Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

First published in 2011 by The Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

Copyright Amy Chua, 2011

All rights reserved

Portions of Chapter Four first appeared as On Becoming American in Defining a Nation: Our America and the Sources of Its Strength, edited by David Halberstam (National Geographic, 2003).

Photograph credits

Bachrach Photography: page 30

Susan Bradley Photography: 168

Peter Z. Mahakian: 216, 223

All other photographs from the authors family collection.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING IN PUBLICATION DATA

Chua, Amy.

Battle hymn of the tiger mother / Amy Chua.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

eISBN: 9781101479629

1. Chua, Amy. 2. Mothers-United States-Biography. 3. Chinese American women-Biography. 4. Mothers and daughters-China. 5. Mothers and daughters-United States. I. Title.

HQ759.C59 2011

306.8743092dc22

[B] 2010029623

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For Sophia and Louisa

And for Katrin

This is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. Its also about Mozart and Mendelssohn, the piano and the violin, and how we made it to Carnegie Hall.

This was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones.

But instead, its about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a thirteen-year-old.

Part One

The Tiger, the living symbol of strength and power, generally inspires fear and respect.

The Chinese Mother

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereo-typically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what its like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because Ive done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

Im using the term Chinese mother loosely. I recently met a supersuccessful white guy from South Dakota (youve seen him on television), and after comparing notes we decided that his working-class father had definitely been a Chinese mother. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish, and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise.

Im also using the term Western parents loosely. Western parents come in all varieties. In fact, Ill go out on a limb and say that Westerners are far more diverse in their parenting styles than the Chinese. Some Western parents are strict; others are lax. There are same-sex parents, Orthodox Jewish parents, single parents, ex-hippie parents, investment banker parents, and military parents. None of these Western parents necessarily see eye to eye, so when I use the term Western parents, of course Im not referring to all Western parentsjust as Chinese mother doesnt refer to all Chinese mothers.

All the same, even when Western parents think theyre being strict, they usually dont come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments thirty minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. Its hours two and three that get tough.

Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that stressing academic success is not good for children or that parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun. By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be the best students, that academic achievement reflects successful parenting, and that if children did not excel at school then there was a problem and parents were not doing their job. Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately ten times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams.

This brings me to my final point. Some might think that the American sports parent is an analog to the Chinese mother. This is so wrong. Unlike your typical Western overscheduling soccer mom, the Chinese mother believes that (1) schoolwork always comes first; (2) an A-minus is a bad grade; (3) your children must be two years ahead of their classmates in math; (4) you must never compliment your children in public; (5) if your child ever disagrees with a teacher or coach, you must always take the side of the teacher or coach; (6) the only activities your children should be permitted to do are those in which they can eventually win a medal; and (7) that medal must be gold.