Curtis Bryan - 50 things every young lady should know: what to do, what to say, and how to behave

50 THINGS
EVERY
Young Lady
SHOULD KNOW

50 THINGS
EVERY
Young Lady
SHOULD KNOW

WHAT TO DO,
WHAT TO SAY,
AND HOW TO BEHAVE

KAY WEST
with JOHN BRIDGES
and BRYAN CURTIS

2011 by Kay West, John Bridges, and Bryan Curtis

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

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ISBN: 978-14041-83513 (BB)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

West, Kay, 1955
50 things every young lady should know : what to do, when to do it, and why / Kay West with John Bridges and Bryan Curtis.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-4016-0064-8 (alk. paper)
1. Etiquette for girls. 2. Etiquette for children and teenagers. I. Bridges, John, 1950 II. Curtis, Bryan, 1960 III. Title. IV. Title: Fifty things every young lady should know.
BJ1857.G5W47 2011
395.1'233dc23

2011017949

Printed in the United States of America

11 12 13 14 15 WOR 6 5 4 3 2 1

To my mother,
Joyce Karlson Shaw,
who laid the foundation, and to her sister
Donalyn Karlson Morris,
who let me tag along
K.W.

CONTENTS

I ts safe to say that young women in the 21st century are exposed to more educational opportunities than any generation of women in history. Even before you started kindergarten you might have been on a soccer team, in a dance class, or taking Suzuki violin lessons. At home you might have played word games on the computer and practiced writing your name. By the time you get to middle school, you might feel as if there arent enough hours in the week to do everything on your calendar.

But sometimes what gets lost in between ballet and biology, Spanish class and piano lessons, creative writing and cross country, are the basic rules of simple etiquette and guidelines for appropriate behavior.

Years and years ago, young ladies were expected to take classes in proper deportment, which is an old-fashioned way of saying simple etiquette and appropriate behavior. That was long before young women spent their teen years preparing for higher education, interesting work, and being financially independent.

Progress is a good thing, and no one would ever for a second suggest going backwards. But even an accomplished student, a gifted artist, or a brilliant young law clerk is at a disadvantage if she never learned to write a thank-you note, understand a formal table setting, accept a compliment, make an apology, express sympathy, or respond to an invitation.

Learning these things will not cost you a cent, but knowing them and practicing them will without a shadow of a doubt pay enormous dividends, starting right now and lasting your lifetime.

The good newsfor you and your parentsis that you dont have to add one more class to your overwhelming schedule. Within the pages of this book are small but very important lessons every young lady should know, whatever her dreams for her future may be.

Chapter 1
SAYING PLEASE

W hat was your first word? Your mother will probably tell you it was Mama. Your father will insist it was Dada. Your grandmother might even believe with all her heart that it was Nana. But you have no recollection. Chances are, though, that somewhere between Mama, Dada, and Nana, and before your first complete sentence, you learned the word please.

Your mother may have squatted down beside you, cookie in hand and said, Please. I want a cookie, please, intending for you to repeat it back to her before rewarding you with the treat. Your dad may have sat down with you on the floor, ball in hand, and said, Please play ball before rolling it across the carpet to you. You also probably heard your parents use it with each otherMay I please have the paper when youre done with it? Will you please take the trash out? and saw the positive results.

Along with mama, daddy, ball, and cookie, please is one of the most important words you learn when you begin talking. Its hard to turn down someone who prefaces or ends a request with the word please. It doesnt matter if you are two years old and asking for a lollipop; eight years old and asking for a new backpack to replace the baby one from first grade; twelve years old and asking for money for a movie; fourteen and asking for a ride to the mall; or seventeen and asking a teacher to write a letter of recommendation for your college application. Please is a word that if you are smartand considerate, which is just as important as being smart you will use for the rest of your life.

YOU DO

Say please consistently, to everyone, always. It doesnt matter if youre asking your brother to pass the potatoes, please, or asking the busy clerk in the store to please wrap your purchase for your mothers birthday gift.

YOU DONT

Treat your little brother, however annoying he may be, with any less consideration than you do a stranger. And vice versa.

Why

Because please really is a magic word that adds a layer of pleasantry to every request. The more you use it, the more natural it becomes to you.

A lady says the word please every time she makes a request, no matter how small it seems.

A lady answers, Yes, please, if someone asks if she would like something. If not, she says, No, thank you.

A lady knows please is just enough. Saying pretty please or pleeeeeeeease is unnecessary and can be annoying.

Chapter 2
SAYING
THANK YOU

H as this ever happened to you? Your mother comes into your room while you are doing homework, lays your clean, folded laundry on your bed, stands by your desk for about ten seconds, then says, Youre welcome! before she stomps out the door. Or your dad drops you off at your friends house and as the car door is closing behind you, he shouts, Youre welcome! This is not the time to roll your eyes; consider what you have not done that has irritated your mom or dad.

You might have thank you down pat when someone gives you something youve already asked for, but having good manners also means saying thank you after people do something nice when you havent asked, or just out of the blue.

When your mom puts your clean laundry on your bed, when your dad gives you a ride, when your friend tells you how cute your outfit is, or her mom tells you after the soccer match what a great game you had, the response is as simple as 1,2, thank you.

YOU DO

Say thank you anytime someone does something nice for you, no matter how well you know them.