Kathleen Miller - Fair share divorce for women: the definitive guide to creating a winning solution

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This book is intended as a resource and offers guidance and information for women going through the process of divorce who seek to safeguard marital assets and create a sound financial plan for their future. Examples of typical situations and solutions to common problems encountered by divorcing women are included for illustrative purposes only. I have changed the names and identifying characteristics of people mentioned in the book to protect their privacy.

If the reader needs advice concerning the evaluation and management of specific legal or financial risks or liabilities, such as bankruptcy or tax matters, he or she should seek the help of a licensed, knowledgeable professional.

Fair Share Divorce for Women is the result of not just my twenty-five years of experience, but more important, the contributions and support of many fine people. Without them, this book would still be just a vision. I am deeply grateful for their efforts in helping make the vision a reality.

To my friends and family, I wish to express my appreciation for their ongoing support, encouragement, and belief in my work. They share my passion about the importance of getting the tools for equitable divorce into the hands of my readers.

I especially want to thank my husband, Don, for his help in preparing the manuscript, as well as researching much of the statistics and data on divorce. His dedication to the project and unwavering personal support has helped keep me on track.

My daughter, Nicole, has been an inspiration and devoted supporter. She represents the Generation X women of today who will build financial awareness and equality into their marriages.

The staff at Miller Advisors has gone beyond the call of duty in taking on many of the tasks involved in preparing the book, in addition to their already demanding jobs in my wealth-management practice. I am truly thankful for their patience and dedication in the face of daunting challenges. Each year the tools and decision-making models they have helped create are enhanced by our experiences working with clients, attorneys, and other professionals. I want to thank John Twitchell, CDFA, for his commitment and expertise in this area. Patricia Doran has worked closely with me to create realistic postdivorce financial plans for many clients. Cherryl Franco has managed our office with efficiency and calmness when emotions have been particularly intense around a divorce settlement.

Renee Gastineau has helped develop presentation materials and provided guidance in taking my message to the public. She has kept my message visible and focused on fair share divorce.

I met Denise Marcil, my agent, when I was completing the first edition in 1994. Although I had decided to self-publish that book, Denise was very supportive of my message. We agreed to meet again if I did a second edition, and she has been a marvelous source of insight, encouragement, and understanding throughout the publication process.

Diane Reverand, my editor, and Regina Scarpa, her assistant at St. Martins Press, have taken a raw manuscript and turned it into a professional publication. Readers will unquestionably benefit from their sharp pencils and experienced direction.

Vicki McCowns dedicated local editorial assistance ensured the book incorporated the required changes. Her expertise as a writer and freelance editor was invaluable in meeting publication deadlines.

Elizabeth Lyon, a nationally recognized author and editor in her own right, gave me the impetus to actively pursue publishing Fair Share Divorce for Women. Her guidance and enthusiasm in editing the initial book proposal got me energized.

Jan Reha is an outspoken advocate of equitable dissolution and has worked with me in developing effective career plans for women who are economically disadvantaged in divorce. In addition to her contribution to this book, we have collaborated on articles addressing such issues as the disparity of spousal earnings and the use of experts in divorce.

Divorce is, first and foremost, a legal process that is most often managed by the attorney. I have been fortunate to work closely with many of the leading family attorneys in our area and around the country. The field of family law is changing. Thanks to a growing number of supportive attorneys, the knowledgeable financial planner is now an important advisor for divorcing clients.

Most of all, I want to thank the women and men who have shared their divorce processes with me. They have helped pioneer a new way of looking at divorce. Together we will leave a legacy for those who seek their own fair share divorces.

W HY I W ROTE F AIR S HARE D IVORCE FOR W OMEN

This book was inspired by the needs of women and by their often frustrated efforts to obtain financial equity in divorce in order to create a secure financial future for themselves and their families. I have worked with divorcing couples for the past twenty-five years, and I have seen a profound need for professional, compassionate guidance on the financial aspects of divorce.

Although I have an intimate knowledge of the divorce process, I am neither an attorney nor a therapist. I am a financial planner and wealth manager. My career has focused on a desire to help people achieve financial independence and security.

I have a special interest in seeing women educated to use their money wisely. Women are the nurturers in our society, and they have a profound impact on the money values they pass along to children.

An empowered woman is able to create, protect, and preserve her wealth for herself, her children, and her grandchildren.

When children see their mothers standing up for their fair share at the time of divorce to protect themselves and their families, it inspires wise money-management decisions in future generations of girls and boys.

Women who develop confidence in managing their own financial affairs find themselves setting new life goals and releasing the emotional baggage of the past. Professional experience has shown me that when women protect themselves in divorce, they increase their self-assurance and become engaged in many other areas of their lives. Ultimately, they move forward into a positive financial future and a secure life.

K NOW W HAT TO E XPECT

Reaching those goals while struggling with divorce is one of the most difficult challenges of contemporary life. I wrote this book to help make the transition from marriage to divorce easier.

What might otherwise have been a textbook approach to divorce is enriched in these pages by the personal perspectives of many of my clients. The material draws upon the expertise of hundreds of professionals with whom I have worked as a financial planner, expert witness, mediator, and consultant.

Fair Share Divorce for Women will help you understand the emotional stages and legal phases of divorce. From predivorce preparation to the intricacies of the dissolution process itself to the critical elements of postdivorce financial planning, this book will provide you with detailed information on every issue you need to consider.