Lisa van de Geyn - Uncoupling: The Ugly Truth about Divorce and Finances

Divorce is an emotional roller coaster. We know this; theres no doubt about it. Ive witnessed friends, acquaintances, and folks on social media (some whose stories start the chapters that follow their names and some key details have been changed to protect their identities) go through separation and divorce and they all seem to agree on one thing: how draining the process truly is; how theres so much to understand, prepare, read, gather, act on. Thats the impetus for this book. We hope it will serve as a guide to help you embark on this overwhelming journey. Divorce can feel crushing on everything from your emotions to your bank account, but take heart; there are ways in which to get through this time, and weve outlined what you need to know in these six chapters. (Quick note: If youre going through a separation and youre in a common-law relationship, youre also going through an emotional roller coaster. While parts of this book can help you, its more important that you focus on the laws and regulations in your province or territory that best apply to your specific situation.)

After penning my first book for the Chartered Professional Accountants of Canada (CPA Canada), Babies: How to Afford Your Bundle of Joy, Li Zhang (principal, corporate citizenship) and I were chatting, and she mentioned her interest in doing a book on the ins and outs of divorce. I dont know why the idea appealed to me too, but we started talking about ideas and before I knew it Uncoupling: The Ugly Truth about Divorce and Finances was dropped in my hands. This isnt like the book I wrote on the cost of having kids that was joyous, even if it did remind me how much cash my husband, Peter, and I have spent on our two daughters, Addyson and Peyton. This one was downright nerve-wracking. Who would want to talk about their divorce, and would we be able to pull enough information together to really help someone entering into this distressing stage? Luckily, I found friends, relatives, acquaintances, chartered professional accountants, financial advisers, lawyers, and mediators to be open and honest about their experiences.

In the chapters that follow, youll find everything from the basics to the nitty-gritty when it comes to separation and divorce, with an emphasis, of course, on finances. As a magazine journalist, Im no stranger to turning to experts to answer my many (many, many) questions, and the experts I sought are no strangers to talking about all things divorce. Theyre authorities on everything from specifics about Canadas Divorce Act and parenting agreements to the tax implications of divorce and post-divorce to-dos. Youll also hear from one half of various couples who are going through their own separations and divorces. I was empathetic hearing their candid stories there were plenty of tears, lots of anger, heartache and talk of failure, and unfulfilled dreams. Their stories made me work harder on this book; they made me want to research and offer as much as I could about how to make their financial lives easier while they go through this period of grief.

Heres the thing: not every marriage is a bed of roses. Its not like you fall in love, get engaged, have a beautiful wedding, and immediately start prepping for divorce, but lets be real: not all of us are going to make it when it comes to achieving and maintaining marital bliss. They say fifty percent of marriages ultimately end in saying I dont. Thats a big number.

It wasnt a number Divya was thinking about on the unseasonably warm afternoon in May when she married her tall, dark, handsome Ethan. Overlooking a picturesque lake from her new sister-in-laws yard on the West Coast, Divya and Ethan exchanged their vows while the wind whistled in the trees and their nieces and nephews played tag. (Yes, it was this charming.)