Holiday Miller - The Ex-Wives Guide to Divorce: How to Navigate Everything from Heartache and Finances to Child Custody

Copyright 2016 by Holiday Miller and Valerie Shepherd

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Miller, Holiday, author.

Shepherd, Valerie C., 1973- author.

Title: The ex-wives guide to divorce : how to navigate everything from heartache and finances to child custody / Holiday Miller, Valerie Shepherd.

Description: New York : Skyhorse Publishing, 2016.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016016585

ISBN 9781510704060 (hardback)

ISBN 9781510704077 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Self-actualization (Psychology)

BISAC: SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / General.

Classification: LCC BF637.S4 M54744 2016

DDC 646.70086/53dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016016585

Cover design by Jane Sheppard

Cover photo credit: istockphoto

Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-0406-0

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-0407-7

Printed in the United States of America

We would like to dedicate this book to all the amazing ex-wives out there.

You inspire us.

We also dedicate this book to our ex-husband.

You clearly have great taste in women.

Contents

Meet the Ex-Wives

Are you shocked to be holding a divorce book in your hands? Does the thought of getting a divorce or being an ex-wife completely freak you out? Do you have a giant knot in the pit of your stomach? We can relate because weve been there, signed the papers, and have the many stories to prove it. Welcome to the club, girlfriend. The Ex-Wives Club. But dont worry. Our club isnt the kind that requires you to wear pink on Wednesdays or exclude those happily-ever-after friends who still have Mrs. in front of their names. In fact, our Club is quite the opposite; its all about supporting each other.

You see, we ex-wives must stick together, which is exactly why we wrote this book.

Even though we are both ex-wives, what you might not know is this: we married AND divorced the SAME MAN. Yep, ex-wives to the exact same man . And now were friends. Really, really good friends. In fact, were such good friends we decided to write a book together, the same book you are now holding in your probably sweaty palms. A book charged to help women survive divorce.

Go ahead and let that sink in for a minute. Get the Ohhh my! out of the way. Some may call it crazy. We call it brilliant. Valerie (ex-wife #1) married our ex straight out of college. Sooner rather than later they divorced. A few years after their divorce, Holiday (ex-wife #2) met and married said ex. Eventually they divorced as well. But our ex really has nothing to do with our story. You, dear girlfriend, on the other hand, do .

Though the path to friendship took some time, we believe our meeting was fated and it was simply divine destiny. Valeries motto is Always the bride, never the bridesmaid. Divorced three times, she is a self-proclaimed divorce expert. Shes been there, done that, has a closet full of I got divorced and all I got was this lousy T-shirt T-shirts.

Holiday has been divorced once, and has made it her goal to learn from the mistakes of those around her (namely Valeriewho was more than happy to share her long list of Donts). These Donts not only helped Holiday during her divorce, but equally as important helped her get on the right path towards eventually finding another I Do!

Sure, there are plenty of women in the world who share ex-husbands, but what are the chances of them becoming great friends? Now that is rare. So, how did we meet? Thanks to social media. We give all credit to the one and only Facebook.

Our connection began while we were both happily (well, kinda) married. During a random night of Facebook friend searches, Holiday and her husband found Valerie. Because Holiday was aware of their similarities (tall blondes, same initial college, same major, same sorority, both Junior League members you get the drift), she sent a short and sweet introductory message. After a few email exchanges, it was clear the ex had married almost the same gal twice.

And how could you not like someone who was almost just like you? Had we met under any other circumstances we would have been buying BFF necklaces.

The Similarities We Share :

We attended the same college and pledged the same sorority.

We eventually transferred to different colleges.

We graduated with degrees in education.

We now live in the Atlanta area and are active in our local Junior League chapters.

After some real-world experience, we both chose the self-employed route.

Were tall blondes with creative, Type A personalities.

We were raised in the North and are Yankees by nature; although Southern charm comes naturally, especially when were wearing pearls.

We married and divorced the same man .

Since we both had children, a play date was organized so we could actually meet in person through a mutual friend at a local park. Were not going to lie; it was awkward, but nonetheless we became friends. Well, at least Facebook friends. From there we shared our lives via posts, family updates, and images of our picture-perfect lives. Just like everyone on Facebook, right?

Fast-forward a couple of years, and enter a moment of complete desperation on Holidays part. She had just separated from her husband days before and was dreading her first weekend sans kiddos. During a bubble bath (complete with wine and iPad), she sent Valerie an SOS Facebook message.

You might possibly be the only person on the planet who could understand the hell Im in right now. Would it be okay if I call you? Or, how about meeting for lunch, or a drink, or both?

Valerie took only a millisecond to respond. Both being mothers to little ones, and having so much in common, Valerie wanted to do what she could to help. She didnt even care that they shared an ex. This was clearly a woman reaching out in need, big time. When Holiday didnt respond immediately to Valeries email, Valerie quickly searched her ex-husbands relationship status. It had changed from Married to Single. The picture of their happy family on the beach was removed. Valerie knew instantly what Holiday was experiencing. The Big D. Divorce.

Little did Holiday know, Valerie was also in the middle of a stomach-twisting divorce only she was a few months ahead of Holiday in the process.

While speaking with Holiday the next day and hearing the details of what prompted her to reach out, Valerie, without really thinking it through, extended an invitation for Holiday to join her for the weekend. Her advice? Bring a notebook and pen; she was going to tell her everything she needed to know about getting divorced. Holiday quickly accepted the offer. Because, to paraphrase Hippocrates, desperate times called for desperate measures. Holiday arrived on Valeries doorstep the next evening, with notebook, pen, wine, and cheese in hand.