Martinez - My Voice

WHERE HIP-HOP LIVES

Wednesday, June 18, 2014
@the studios of WQHT 97.1
395 Hudson Street, NYC

T his is overwhelming. Like my-head-is-gonna-fucking-EXPLODE overwhelming.

Its my last day at Hot 97. This stationWhere Hip Hop Livesis where Ive built my career for more than two decades. For my entire adult life, Hot 97 has been my home, the place where I grew up, and where so many of the people who have walked these halls with me have become like family. And to top it all off, Im leaving without any warning. No hints, no rumors, no leaks.

Nobody in the whole building knows. Yet.

From the instant I get off the elevator and walk into the main reception area that separates our station, WQHT, on one side from our new sister station, WBLS, on the other, Im smacked by the reality that today Ill be leaving the place that Ive been day in, day out for twenty years. This is the place that shaped me from the eighteen-year-old who had no clue who I was, what I wanted to do with my life, or even what I was capable of.

I grew up in this building, and I didnt grow up here alone. These are the people who were raised with me and many who I raised myself. We spent holidays and birthdays together, shared each others biggest milestones, and saw each other through some of the best and worst times of our lives.

As you can imagine, walking away from this family was not a decision that came easily. It was scary. It felt like the right move in my soul, a necessary step to push myself forward, but that didnt stop it from being terrifying and overwhelmingly sad.

Then the official e-mail went out to the whole Hot 97 staff: Today Angie Martinez has resigned and will no longer...

I knew everyone would be caught off guard and sad to see me go, but I never imagined to what extent. I didnt expect how hard the announcement was going to hit. The first clue came when I made it back to the programming office and saw that my show producer, Drewski, was inconsolable.

Gesturing to the hallway, I got him to follow me out so that we could have a moment alone. In all the years Ive known Drewski he had never been the type to be rattled easily. He didnt even cry at funerals. But now he couldnt get a word out. Was he mad at me? Worried about his future?

All I could do was to try to reassure him. You know Ill always have your back, Drewski, I began. Change is good. It brings forward motion... for everyone. This could be good for all of us.

But after ten minutes of talking quietly in the hall, I headed back to the studio. And just as I turned the corner, I was stopped in my tracks. There stood almost every single one of my coworkers lined up in the hallways, most of them crying. I froze.

Oh my God. Whats happening here?

Somehow Id fooled myself into thinking that Id planned for whatever reaction was to comegoing over all the different scenarios and carefully timing the news. Id waited until Id shared the news with the staff before posting on social media:

Today I resigned from HOT97. I am grateful to the Emmis family for my time with the company and the immeasurable way that it has shaped my life. We made history together and I will cherish those memories and my friendships forever... It was one of the toughest decisions Ive ever had to make but ultimately it is time to move on...

I thought I was ready for everything, but in no way was I prepared for this outpouring of emotion. It knocked the wind out of me.