Fink - When you lose someone you love

On August 3rd, my beloved husband, Andy Trattner, lay down to take a nap, had a heart attack while he was sleeping, and never woke up. He was only 53.

When we met at the end of my freshman year of college, his love changed my life; when he died, his loss shattered my world.

For several weeks after Andy died, I was so numb that I wasnt really functional. In fact, if I hadnt had to get up to get our children off to school, I dont think I would have ever gotten out of bed.

I met Andy when I was 18, and we were married for 29 years. He was my husband, my best friend, my business partner, and the father of our two children; his death has profoundly impacted every aspect of my life.

As an artist and writer, I process things by writing and drawing about them. The following pages are from the journal that I started keeping a few weeks after Andy died.

Keeping this journal has been cathartic for me. I am blessed to have incredibly supportive friends and family, and yet it has been hard for me to share with them how alone I feel, how sad I am, and how much I miss Andy. Instead, Ive poured my soul into these pages.

Ive discovered that grieving is like taking a journey toward an unknown destination against your will: it is incredibly difficult, heartbreaking, and time consumingand there arent any shortcuts.

At some point in our lives, most of us will experience the loss of someone we love and will need to deal with that loss in order to move on with our lifes journey.

I have been deeply touched when those who have survived their own losses reached out to me with compassion and love. And although I am not very far along on my own journey, I wanted to share my journal in hopes that it will make your grief journeyor the journey of someone you lovea little easier.