Elaine Mallon - Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual

What People Are Saying About

HEALING AFTER THE LOSS OF YOUR MOTHER

Elaine Mallon has captured with every wordexactly how I feel. She verbalizes the pain of grief so eloquently.Its like she can see into my soul the grief and pain. It bringscomfort to know that I am not alone.

Michelle F., Surrey, England

Thank you so much for this! It hits everyfeeling, emotion, everything perfectly. Like yes... someone getsit!

Alice D., Palm Harbor, FL

This is very well written and such a goodreference to keep close at hand, especially during those very darktimes.

Kathy M., Ontario, Canada

Thank you, Elaine Mallon, for this.Everything you said is what Im experiencing. Sometimes the pain isso deep and overwhelming that I cant even find the words. Yourshelp so much and are right on point. Its very comforting to knowIm not alone.

Laura O., Fresno, CA

Ive read and re-read this and it is stillthe best and most accurate words written on griefsupport that continues to help me.

Vicki G., Mobile, AL

Tears flowing as I read this! Like someoneactually understands!

Joanne D., Ooltewah, TN

Thank you for this! This is so helpful foranyone grieving. You have expressed it so well and its the closestthing Ive seen to an actual manualat least one that is accurateand usefulon what we are going to be experiencing!

Melissa H., Austin, TX

Elaine Mallon, thank you. This is one of themost helpful things I have read so far. It has been five weekssince my mom died. I knew it would hit me hard, but had no idea howhard. I am pretty shattered and completely unprepared for thislevel of pain. Thanks for giving me hope.

E. Barrett, Brooklyn, NY

This is the most helpful and beautiful thingIve read about grieving the loss of a mother.

Debbie B., Honolulu, HI

I really needed to read this. I have no ideahow to do this without her. Thank you, I shall read and re-readit.

Sally W., Glasgow, Scotland

I really needed this... I really thought Iwas going crazy.

Rhonda S., Caldwell, ID

All of the emotions described within thesepages are exactly what Im feeling.

Connie D., Winchester, VA

This is absolutely the way my emotions havebeen. Thank you so much. I know Ill definitely be reading this alot.

Nicky H., Albany, OR

Reading this has helped comfort me. At leastI know Im not going crazy for feeling so empty and alone.

Kristi E., Salem, OR

Copyright 2018 by Elaine Mallon

First Edition: December, 2018

All rights reserved. No part of this book maybe reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in anyform or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy,recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher andauthor, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in criticalreviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyrightlaw.

Library of CongressCataloguing-in-Publication Data is on file in the Library ofCongress, Washington, D.C.

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-7335389-0-9

Kindle ISBN: 978-1-7335389-1-6

E-book ISBN: 978-1-7335389-3-0

Story Editor: James Endrst

Interior photos by: Elaine Mallon

Elaine Mallon headshots by: Bradford RognePhotography

Some names, discussions, and identifyingdetails have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals aswell as members of Healing After the Loss of Your Mother GriefSupport.

This book is a labor of love and is drawnfrom the authors personal experience. She is not an expert ongrief. This book is not intended as a substitute for professionalmedical or psychological advice. Always consult your doctor ormental health professional for your individual needs.

For more information, visit: www.HealingAfterTheLossOfYourMother.com

We knew and loved our mothers our wholelife.

Its no mystery why losing them hurts somuch and why it takes so long to heal.

Elaine Mallon

Dedication

To my lifelong friend, Laura Hoffman Wilson:You were my lifesaver. You were always there unconditionally withanswers, comfort, and hugs from halfway across the country. Becauseof your emotional presence, I never felt alone in this.

To my mom, Irma: I know a mothers love isforever. So is mine. I also know you will continue to love,protect, and guide methats just who you eternally are.

I am so proud to be your daughter.

Acknowledgment

Your mother is always with you.

Shes the whisper of the leaves as you walkdown the street.

Shes the smell of certain foods youremember,

flowers you pick, and the fragrance of lifeitself.

Shes the cool hand on your brow when

youre not feeling well.

Shes your breath in the air on a coldwinters day.

She is the sound of the rain that lulls youto sleep,

the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmasmorning.

Your mother lives inside your laughter.

Shes the place you came from, your firsthome, and

shes the map you follow with every step youtake.

Shes your first love, your first friend,even your first enemy,

but nothing on earth can separate you.

Not time, not space, not even death.

Unknown

A special thank you to those who opened theirhearts to me when I needed it the most, who shared their ownexperience with loss, who helped me learn, grow, and heal throughtheir presence, kindness, and compassion.

Love will break your heart, but it will alsoheal it.

Preface

Im not an expert on grief; Im someone wholost her mom suddenly and unexpectedly. I was totally unpreparedfor her untimely death. She was beautiful, vibrant, healthy,optimistic, funny, and loved life. Genetically, she had at leastanother 20 years or more to go.

I was not expecting to get that call thatFebruary afternoon in 2016 and when I didnt answer the phone, myolder sister texted me, Call me now! Its about Mom.

My heart immediately sank. I made the calland my sister began as gently as she could. Are you sitting down?she said. Moms had an accident. My heart racing, I quicklyasked, Is she alive?

She wasbut she had been rushed to thehospital in Roseville, California, some 430 miles away from me inLos Angeles.

Our mother lived alone and had been found byconcerned neighbors who hadnt seen her all day. They used a key toget into her home when she didnt answer, picked her locked bedroomdoor, and found her collapsed and unconscious on the bathroomfloor. They rushed to her and immediately called 911.

It appeared she had either hit her head in afall and been bleeding for some time, or had experienced some kindof non-traumatic brain injury, like an aneurysm, and then fell.

We didnt have all the answers. But itappeared she had been there since the night before.

Our mom was, however, still alive, thoughdoctors werent sure if shed make it through the night. Hercondition kept changingshowing glimmers of hope one minute to testresults showing bleeding on the brain so severe that shed neverbe Mom again.