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William Alexander - 52 Loaves

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A clever weekend baker learns some life lessons, loaf by loaf . . . His bright writing highlights a pleasing variety of comical misadventures (Kirkus Reviews).William Alexander is determined to bake the perfect loaf of bread. He tasted it long ago, in a restaurant, and has been trying to reproduce it ever since. Without success. Now, on the theory that practice makes perfect, he sets out to bake peasant bread every week until he gets it right. He bakes his loaf from scratch. And because Alexander is nothing if not thorough, he really means from scratch: growing, harvesting, winnowing, threshing, and milling his own wheat.An original take on the six-thousand-year-old staple of life, 52 Loaves explores the nature of obsession, the meditative quality of ritual, the futility of trying to re-create something perfect, our deep connection to the earth, and the mysterious instinct that makes all of us respond to the aroma of baking bread.Serious, irreverent, funny, and informative at the same time, 52 Loaves reflects precisely the frustrating and infuriatingif not impossibleprocess of creating the perfect bread. Jacques PpinNitpicking obsessiveness was never so appetizing. Entertainment WeeklyAlexanders breathless, witty memoir is a joy to read. Its equal parts facts and fun. . . . Alexander is wildly entertaining on the page, dropping clever one-liners in the form of footnotes and parenthetical afterthoughts throughout. The Boston GlobeA warm, laugh-out-loud [memoir] . . . Alexander writes about the ups (few), the downs (numerous) and a lively history of bread itself, all recounted in a self-effacing but often irreverent voice. The Oregonian

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52 LOAVES

ALSO BY WILLIAM ALEXANDER

The $64 Tomato:
How One Man Nearly Lost His Sanity,
Spent a Fortune, and Endured an Existential
Crisis in the Quest for the Perfect Garden


Loaves

ONE MANS RELENTLESS
PURSUIT OF TRUTH, MEANING,
AND A PERFECT CRUST

William Alexander

Published by ALGONQUIN BOOKS OF CHAPEL HILL Post Office Box 2225 Chapel Hill - photo 1

Published by

ALGONQUIN BOOKS OF CHAPEL HILL

Post Office Box 2225

Chapel Hill, North Carolina 27515-2225

a division of

Workman Publishing

225 Varick Street

New York, New York 10014

2010 by William Alexander.

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America.

Published simultaneously in Canada by

Thomas Allen & Son Limited.

Descriptions of the seven Divine Offices used with

permission from the Abbey of the Genesee.

Leeuwenhoeks sketches of yeast cells The Royal Society.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Alexander, William, [date]

52 loaves : one mans relentless pursuit of truth, meaning,

and a perfect crust / William Alexander.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-56512-583-4 (alk. paper)

1. Bread. 2. BreadAnecdotes.

3. Alexander, William, [date]. I. Title.

TX769.A4858 2010

641.8'15dc22 2009049656

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

First Edition

I am going to learn to make bread tomorrow. So if you may imagine me with my sleeves rolled up, mixing flour, milk, saleratus, etc., with a deal of grace. I advise you if you dont know how to make the staff of life to learn with dispatch.
Emily Dickinson

They say bread is life. And I bake bread, bread, bread. And I sweat and shovel this stinkin dough in and out of this hot hole in the wall, and I should be so happy! Huh, sweetie?
Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck

Contents
Prologue

Next!

My heart was pounding so hard at the airport security checkpoint, I was certain the TSA agent would see it thrusting through my jacket.

Laptop, I blurted out for no apparent reason, my voice cracking like a teenagers on a first date as I placed my computer into the plastic tray.

Liquids. The TSA inspector held up my regulation Baggie stuffed with three-ounce bottles and nodded approvingly.

I reached into my backpack and casually pulled out a half-gallon plastic container filled with a bubbling, foul-smelling substance. Sourdough. I might just as well have said, Gun!

Uh-uh, you cant bring that on a plane! a TSA Official stationed at the next line called out. I wanted to say, Who asked you? but sensibly kept my mouth shut as I looked around nervously. Thanks to that blabbermouth, every passenger and TSA employee at the security checkpoint was looking my way.

Can he bring dough? another inspector yelled.

A buzz had now started, with murmurs of dough audible from the passengers behind me, all of whom, Im sure, hoped they werent on my flight.

A tense and chaotic ten minutes later, I found myself talking with a stone-faced supervisor.

Sourdough? He sighed with the heavy air of someone who didnt want to deal with a situationany situation.

Twelve years old! I beamed. So that I could say it wasnt a liquid and thus subject to the three-ounce rule, Id added half a pound of flour to the wet sourdough before leaving the house. Unfortunately, this had the effect of stiffening it into something with an uncanny resemblance to plastique explosive. As the supervisor started to run a wand around it, I held my breath, half expecting it to beep myself.

A thirteen-hundred-year-old monastery in France is expecting this, I offered.

His trained poker face remained blank, forcing me to pretend hed asked why.

They managed to keep science, religion, and the arts alive during the Dark Ages, even risking their lives to protect their library from the barbarians who burned everything else in sight. After thirteen centuries, though, theyve forgotten how to make bread.

Still no reaction. None. Trying to lighten the mood, I added, The future of Western civilization is in your hands.

That bit of hyperbole got his attention. Youre a professional baker?

My wife coughed.

Um, no.

He arched an eyebrow. But no matter. Whatever transpired in the next few minutes, I was boarding that plane with my starter. I had to. During nearly a year of weekly bread making, Id disappointed my wife, subjected my poor kids to countless variations on the same leaden loaf, and, most of all, let myself down, time and time again, loaf after loaf, week after week. Well, I was not going to let down the monks at lAbbaye Saint-Wandrille de Fontenelle.

Granted, I was as unlikely a savior of a monastery as you could imaginea novice baker whod lost his faith and hadnt set foot in a church in years, carrying a possibly illegal cargo of wild yeast and bacteria practically forced on me by an avowed atheistbut nevertheless I was determined to succeed, for I was on a mission.

A mission from God.

I.
Vigils

Vigils, or watching in the night, is prayer to be celebrated in the middle of the night. In monastic communities the concentration on vigilance begins with this Office, enveloped in and supported by darkness and silence.

THE PREVIOUS
OCTOBER
Rarin to Go

How can a nation be great if its bread tastes like Kleenex?
Julia Child

I was up before dawn, watching and waiting for daylight, and was rewarded with a promising sunrise that delivered a glorious, sparkling October day, a Flemish landscape painting come to life. With the low mountains of New Yorks Hudson Highlands as my backdrop, I set out across the fields, endless rows of rich red soil stretching to the horizon, a sack of wheat slung over my breast, swinging my arm to and fro in an easy rhythm, sowing while startled birds furiously flapped their wings into flight, fleeing the advancing rain of seed. The silence of late October was interrupted only by the laughter of barefoot children playing hide-and-seek among the crisp, golden cornstalks and by the church bells in the distance, which marked the passing of every quarter hour. What a great day to be alive and to be sowing life.

Are you going to weed or stand there daydreaming? Anne asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

My wife was on her knees, pulling weeds, her face streaked with sweat and dirt, her nose runny.

I dismissed her comment with a grunt but reluctantly joined her. How did we ever let these beds get so out of hand? I wondered aloud as I yanked another foot-tall clump of thistle from the earth and flung it into the wheelbarrow. We pulled and tossed, tugged and heaved, the weeds having progressed far beyond the stage where they could be removed with a hoe.

Two hours later, the neglected beds, more used to being a home to beans and tomatoes than to grain, were cleaned, raked, and ready for winter wheat. I drew shallow furrows through the earth with a triangle hoe as Anne, on all fours, her drippy nose almost touching the earth, poked seeds into the soil, four inches apart, as if planting peas, not sowing wheat. The scene was more phlegmish than Flemish, but as much as I loved the romantic notion of turning my yard into a wheat field, of sowing wheat instead of planting it, I wasnt about to till up my lawn and construct a deer-proof fence when I already had good soil, good fencing, and available beds in the vegetable garden. And planting in neat rows, rather than broadcasting seed, would allow for efficient weeding with a hoe later.

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