Mitch Abblett - Prizeworthy: How to Meaningfully Connect, Build Character, and Unlock the Potential of Every Child

If I had to choose three words to describe my early parenting yearswhen I had two daughters under the age of twothey would probably be exhaustion, love, and confusion.

So much confusion.

I wasnt sure how to feed the girls or get them to sleep through the night, when to start potty training, whether it was really OK to send them to daycare when I needed to go back to work, or how to choose the right preschool. I was filled with doubt about every decision I made and buried in shame each time I thought Id made the wrong one.

I sought out expert advice wherever I could find it, from random articles to expert authors who knew nothing about me and my family. And then when everything fell apart again (as it inevitably did), the cycle would start again.

It was a tough few years.

Eventually, I found my way to the world of mindfulness, and everything started to shift. I still had moments of anxiety and confusion, but instead of grasping for someone elses opinion about what I should do, I had a new place to go for information and wisdom: the present moment.

I know, I know. It sounds like such a clich, but stick with me. Theres so much to learn from any moment: whats going on with me, how my children are doing, and whats happening with our relationship. Each time I let go of the worries, fantasies, and fears that seem to follow me into so many parenting moments, I can get some clarity on whats working, whats not, and what we all need in order to move forward.

Dont get me wrong, there are definitely times when I show up to the present moment and realize that I have absolutely no idea whats going on or how to respond. And when that happens, I look for support and advice from the people who know me and my family and from experts I trust. Thats why I was so thrilled to get my hands on Mitch Abbletts new book, Prizeworthy: How to Meaningfully Connect, Build Character, and Unlock the Potential of Every Child.

In this book, Mitch takes some of my favorite parenting concepts and practices around mindfulness, compassion, connection, flexibility, and resilience and brings them together in one cohesive model: prizing.

As Mitch describes it, Prizing is a way of seeing and a way of being in the world with others, especially children. Prizing is when an adult stops whatever else they are doing, drops all their assumptions, expectations, and agendas, and expresses how much the apparent pain or bubbling up of possibility within a child simply matters. The adult gives the child a gift of their complete attention, their presence. It is the gift of feeling seen and felt, and it helps the childs own clear seeing, growing, risking, and loving of others become more possible.

I cant think of a more empathic and effective response to our children, regardless of what theyre struggling with or what they need. Its a simple practice but far from easy, which is why Im so grateful for all of the strategies in this book, such as grounding ourselves in the moment, holding onto our goals and ideas lightly, naming our pain, practicing compassionate silence, and focusing on presence over praise. (And if youre not sure what Im talking about, dont worrythats what the book is for!)

The ideas and practices in this book will not only help you feel less stressed and more present in parenting but also create a culture of emotional safety in your family, help your child learn to respond skillfully to their emotions, and strengthen your relationship in the process.

If youre feeling as lost in parenting as I was, please know youre not alone. Help is available, and Prizeworthy is a great place to start.

Carla Naumburg, PhD