Bob Barnes - What Makes a Man Feel Loved: Understanding What Your Husband Really Wants

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture verses are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

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Verses marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible, copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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Cover by Left Coast Design, Portland, Oregon

Cover photo Shutterstock / deomis

WHAT MAKES A MAN FEEL LOVED

Copyright 1998 Bob Barnes

Published 2015 by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-5391-7 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-5392-4 (eBook)

The Library of Congress has cataloged the edition as follows:

Barnes, Bob, 1933

What makes a man feel loved / Bob Barnes.

p. cm.

Rev. ed. of: Your husband, your friend. 1993.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-7369-1205-1 (trade paper)

1. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. WomenConduct of life. I. Barnes, Bob, 1933 Your husband, your friend. II. Title.

BV835.B37 1998

248.8'44dc21

97-29014

CIP

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This book is dedicated to my wife, Emilie, and to all women who have hung in there when the going got rough. You are truly the ones who have found favor with God.

It isnt easy to persevere when you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. But as survivors, you are a witness to the world of Gods love and His abounding grace. You are proof that those who believe the principles and promises of Scriptureno matter what the situationwill later reap the blessings that accompany them.

Through every circumstance you trusted God, prayed with great fervor, and clung to that man you took in marriage. May we men become as committed to our marriage and family as you, our wives, are!

I thank God each day for the precious wife He has given me. I am the man I am today because of my God and my wife. Emilie has made this book possible. Without her, I never would have written these thoughts on paper.

Thank you, Emilie, for standing by me when you have felt like quitting!

Contents

When God made Bob Barnes, the mold was broken. He is a unique, talented, insightful, and discerning man. I have to laugh a bit when I say that because my Bob has an identical twin brother. Even though they do look alike, they are each so different in a lot of ways and similar in others.

My Bob and I met on a blind date over 59 years ago, never realizing the significant task that marriage would be. We were starry-eyed and ready to begin a loving relationship for life. When the rough times came, and they did, we attempted to follow Gods principles with the help of family, Christian friends, and our church family. We walked through those rough times and were refined by them.

What my Bob will share with you through the pages of this book has worked for us, and will help you to see your marriage from your husbands perspective. You will gain insights into your man and discover why he may see life through a different set of lenses than you do. You might also come to better understand why your mate seems so different or even weird at times!

My Bob and I have worked together in our ministry, More Hours in My Day, since 1982. Each year we meet thousands of women just like you, who have teachable spirits and want the best relationships possible with their men. Through these encounters my Bob has felt your heartbeat, and he is sensitive to your desires and needs for an intimate relationship with your husband.

The words youre about to read come from a man who loves God and wants to encourage us as wives to support, love, and help our husbands become better men.

Let my Bob touch your heart as he has mine.

Emilie Barnes

D id you look twice when you saw that a man wrote this book? Are you wondering, Why does he think he can write a book of encouragement for women? Shouldnt a woman be writing this book? After all, she would know how hard it is to be a wife! Those are valid questions, but lets consider a different perspective.

As a man, I know what makes a man feel loved and supported. I know what men need to feel confident and appreciated. I know the inner fears and questions a man lives with. I know the frustrations a man experiences in his various roles as breadwinner, disciplinarian, handyman, car-repair expert, and spider killer. Simply put, I know how men tickand that information can help you come alongside and support your husband. But there are other reasons why I believe I have an important message for you.

I Have Been Schooled by a Wonderful Wife

For 59 years I have been married to a woman who has truly stood by me. Emilie has shown me the patience of Job, the wisdom of Solomon, the forgiveness of Jesus, and the straightforwardness of Paul in her relationship to me. A very capable person in her own right and busy with her own areas of ministry, Emilie has always worked toward the long-term goal of helping me become the man God wants me to be.

Emilie has loved, encouraged, challenged, motivated, inspired, and supported me in every endeavor. She has stood by me, backing my ideas and my leadership even when she has had some doubts. When I have been wrong, Emilie has offered encouragement rather than chastisement, scolding, I told you so, or the silent treatment. All through our years of marriage, I have been strengthened by her unwavering respect for me.

Emilie has always prayed for me daily. I know her prayers have changed the course of my life. Many times when I kissed her goodbye as I left for work, I would mention my 10:30 a.m. meeting with the president of Company X or my 3:30 p.m. meeting with the staff. Then, at 10:30 and 3:30, I knew the confidence that came from knowing that I had a faithful prayer warrior lifting me up before the Lord.

Through the years, Emilies prayers have also placed a protective hedge around my heart. Knowing that she would be in prayer for me has helped protect me from feelings of anger, resentment, defeat, or egotism. Whenever I was away from the family at a convention, I knew that Emilie was praying for my safety, purity, obedience to Gods Word, and protection from Satans attacks. Also, being so in tune with God and with me, Emilielike many intuitive wiveshas often been aware of my needs before Ive been aware of them myself. Finally, as a woman of prayer, Emilie is someone I can turn to with every decision that needs to be made, confident that her perspective will be godly and wise.