Deborah A. Levine - Love Miscellany: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About the Many Ways We Celebrate Love and Romance

LOVE
MISCELLANY

LOVE
MISCELANY

EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO
KNOW ABOUT THE MANY WAYS WE
CELEBRATE ROMANCE AND PASION

DEBORAH A. LEVINE

WITH CONTRI BUTIONS FROM

KRISTIN KULSAVAGE

With thanks to Laura Briskman.

Copyright 2012 by Deborah A. Levine

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10987654321

Library of Congress Cataloging-in- Publication Data is on file.

ISBN: 978-1-61608-386-1

Printed in China

For my mom and dad, whove shared fifty Valentines Days
and are still going strong. And for Ian, Lili, and Julian,
my three great loves.

My parents, who celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary this year, have never been prone to gratuitous public displays of affection (a peck on the lips is about as amorous as Ive ever seen them get). They are, however, one of the most romantic couples I know, thanks in part to a Valentines Day tradition they conceived of long before they collaborated on my sister and me. Each February 14, along with the requisite box of high-end chocolates or a new orchid for the garden (tropical flora trump roses for my neo-Floridian mom), my folks give each other cardsnot one or two, mind you, more like five or six each.

The cards my parents exchange are the standard store-bought variety. Some are funny, others sappy, all of them signed with decades-old pet names and oft-told in-jokes. For my mom and dad, the delivery is as integral a part of the tradition as the cards themselves. They dont simply hand them to each other in neat stacks on Valentines morning. Instead, they stealthily tuck the cards into briefcases or lunch bags, under coffee mugs and atop key hooks. The idea is not for the cards to be challenging to find, more like surprising, in a familiar way, to discover. Just as through this annual ritual, my parents discover (or rediscover) the romance and affection that first sparked between them five decades ago.

In researching this book, Ive learned an awful lot about love throughout the ages and around the globe that Im willing to bet will be as new to most readers as it was to me. Who knew that the ubiquitous heart symbol we associate with love evolved from a stylized ivy leaf or that traditional Turkish weddings were celebrated for over a month? Who would have imagined that the Americans spend close to $350 million on chocolate for Valentines Day alone?

The most interesting bit of Love Miscellany Ive discovered, the bit of knowledge that will stay with me even after the names and dates have faded, is that people everywhere, across the planet and throughout history, love to celebrate love. Were not content just to feel it or even to share it. We want to shout about it, show the world that were lucky enough to experience it, and thank those whove allowed us to know it. Thats what Valentines Day is, and has always been, all about. For some, that celebration means a dozen roses and heart-shaped box of chocolates. For others its a dedication on the radio, a midnight serenade, or a half-dozen cards hidden where theyre sure to be found.

When it comes to celebrating Valentines Day, birthdays or anniversaries in our house, my husband and I havent exactly followed in my parents sentimental footsteps. Like many of our peers, weve eschewed paper and ink cards for their digital progeny, e-cards, and buy heart-shaped goodies only for the kids. And yet, despite our lackluster celebrations, those special days tend to find us exchanging cutesier-than-normal e-mails and making eleventh-hour corner-store bouquet runsindisputable evidence that beneath the unromantic veneer, were grateful for (and needy of) these yearly reminders to recognize and celebrate that most coveted of all emotions: LOVE.

Deborah A. Levine
Brooklyn, New York

LOVE
MISCELLANY

V alentines Day was named for the Catholic Saint Valentinethat much is common knowledge. But who was this Saint Valentine, anyway? Perhaps a better question is Who wasnt? The Roman Martyrology, the Catholic Churchs definitive list of saints, recognizes several different St. Valentines, at least three of whom were supposedly martyred on February 14.

Historical purists insist that few facts are known about any of the February Valentines, and none of them lead to romance. Most agree that one Valentine was a third-century Roman priest and another a bishop from Terni, both of whom were buried on Romes Via Flaminia (though not in the same grave). The third Valentine lived and died in Africa, though the details of his life remain a mystery.

Despite the dearth of historical information about the various St. Valentines, several persistent tales of their noble acts have been passed down through the centuries. Over time, the first two Valentines stories have been so intertwined that theres no longer any distinction between them. Popular Valentines Day legends most often have as the protagonist a single third-century Roman priest, who may have been based on either of them, neither, or both.

In one such legend, Valentine is martyred for refusing to follow a decree of Emperor Claudius II. Having decided that bachelors were better soldier material than husbands and fathers, Claudius passed a law forbidding young men to marry. Valentine, however, sympathized with the lovelorn young Romans, and, being a priest, secretly married grateful couples in spite of the law. When word of Valentines clandestine side gig got back to Claudius, he was sentenced to death for his defiance and beheaded near the Flaminian Gate.