Shelly Wildman - First Ask Why: Raising Kids to Love God Through Intentional Discipleship

I wholeheartedly agree with Shelly Wildman that there is no better word to summarize what God calls parents to do than discipleship. She unpacks in detail what this discipleship looks like practically, while she reminds us that being intentional simply means being willing tools of the Great Discipler in the lives of the children he has entrusted to our care.

Paul David Tripp

author of Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles

That Can Radically Change Your Family

Shelly Wildman has written a wise book that will have a lasting effect because of her graced understanding and application of principled intentionality in raising a godly family. Readers wont find cookie-cutter bromides here. Rather, they will find insight grounded in Gods Word and cheerfully conveyed in personal family narrative by a well-read author. This is a domestic page-turner to savor and reread with immense profit during those fleeting child-raising years.

Kent and Barbara Hughes

authors of Disciplines of a Godly Family

Shelly opens the book with a perfect moment of utterly failed family devotions. Bam! She had me. Why another parenting book? To take parents past the how of performance and into the why of intentions and motivations. Wildman does a bang-up job of showing the way to deeper, love-based discipling of our kids.

Leslie Leyland Fields

author of Parenting Is Your Highest Calling: And Eight

Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt

Oh how I wish Id had Shellys wonderful book as a young parent! Through practical wisdom, deep experience, and honest stories, she beautifully illustrates intentional parenting in a way that will inspire you no matter where you are in your parenting journey.

Kate Battistelli

author of Growing Great Kids, and mother of Grammy

Awardwinning artist Francesca Battistelli

Shelly Wildman doesnt offer burdensome to-dos or simplistic 1-2-3 formulas. Rather, she calls parents to prayerful intentionality. Warmly, wryly opening her life to readers, Wildman gives us a window into godly parenting in the thick of soccer season, basketball tryouts, homework, and Sunday morning worship. Despite her many exemplary qualities, Wildman never claims to be a perfect momwhich must be why I love this book so much.

Jen Pollock Michel

award-winning author of Teach Us to Want and Keeping Place

If you ever feel lost in the maze of motheringall the advice, all the choices, all the new ways to raise perfect childrenpick up First Ask Why. This is an excellent resource to help parents understand their role from a scriptural perspective.

Melissa Kruger

editor at The Gospel Coalition

Each page goes beyond sage advice for raising good sons and daughters and gives action steps toward a biblical imperative. By aligning personal experience with an understanding of Gods heart, First Ask Why is an exceptional resource for nurturing spiritually strong Christ followers.

Wynter Pitts

founder of For Girls Like You, and author of

She Is Yours: Trusting God as You Raise the Girl He Gave You

One kid at a time, one intentional decision at a time, Shellys view of parenting is the big sister you can trust.

Lisa-Jo Baker

best-selling author of Never Unfriended

and Surprised by Motherhood

Shelly offeres a beautiful mixture of challenges and encouragement for every parent seeking Gods plan for their family. A top favorite on my list of books to share with others!

September McCarthy

mom of ten, author of Why Motherhood Matters, and

founder of Raising Generations Today

First Ask Why: Raising Kids to Love God Through Intentional Discipleship

2018 by Shelly Wildman

Published by Kregel Publications, a division of Kregel Inc., 2450 Oak Industrial Dr. NE, Grand Rapids, MI 49505.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwisewithout written permission of the publisher, except for brief quotations in reviews.

Distribution of digital editions of this book in any format via the internet or any other means without the publishers written permission or by license agreement is a violation of copyright law and is subject to substantial fines and penalties. Thank you for supporting the authors rights by purchasing only authorized editions.

The persons and events portrayed in this book have been used with permission.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-0-8254-4486-9

Printed in the United States of America
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For Brian
and for Kate, Caroline, and Julia.
Youre all my sunshine.

T HE IDEA FOR THIS BOOK WAS BORN MANY, MANY YEARS AGO WHEN my children were young and life was moving way too fast. Only God knew how I needed to sit with the ideas here, live with them, and practice them before I could actually write them down. This is his book, not mine, and to God alone may any glory for this work be given.

Im grateful for the people God has placed in my path, all of whom have had some influence over me and the writing of this book.

For my dear friends Rebecca, Amy, Kate, Jenni, Harper, Jeanne, Janet, and all the Mom2Mom womenyounger moms whom I adore and for whom much of this has been written. Youve been my inspiration and my best cheerleaders.

For my early readers, Cheryce Berg, Amy Danusiar, and Jennifer Merck. This wouldnt be half the book it is without your input, and I am deeply grateful for your honest insights and helpful comments. Jon Nielson, a friend and former pastor, also read an early version with an eye toward the theological. Thank you for taking time from your busy work at Princeton to help me out, Jon.

For others who have sat down with me, discussed ideas, and shared their wisdom, I am grateful. Micah Lindquist, your thoughts on prayer and your encouragement have always been a gift. Cheryce Berg, Becky Sandberg, and Nancy Swider-Peltz all willingly shared their stories and their lives with meIm grateful. And to Jen Pollock Michel, Margot Starbuck, and Nancy Taylor, who came along at just the right time to share their insight and encouragement, thank you. To my amazing group of Prayer Warriorspeople who prayed me through the writing of this bookIm blown away and so grateful for the important work you did. Finally, to my Redbud sistersnone of this would have happened without you. Thank you.

My parents, as you will read, have had an incredible influence on me, whether they realize it or not. Im grateful every day for their faithfulness to our family, despite the difficulties and sorrows, and for showing me what true faith looks like.

Kate, Caroline, and Julia, you have filled my life with more joy, more laughter, and more fun than I could ever have imagined. I am amazed by the women you are becoming and am so grateful to have the opportunity to be your mom. Thank you for faithfully following Jesus and for teaching me how to be a better person.