Jennifer Wisdom - Leaving Revolution: How We are Learning to Let Go and Move On

Advance Praise for

Leaving Revolution: How We Are Learning to Let Go and Move On

Leaving Revolution has forever changed how I think about leaving. Dr. Wisdom deftly weaves theory, her personal experience, and more than 100 interviews to help us reconsider the role of letting go and moving on in our lives. Whether you're a leaver or a stayer, you must read this book.

Ramani Durvasula, Author of Should I Stay or Should I Go? and Professor of Psychology, California State University Los Angeles

In my mid-20s, I left a bad marriage and a career I hated to start a new life in a distant city. Dr. Wisdom clearly articulates what I couldn't express then: leaving is about coming into our own power. Her book will help you make sense of why you leave or stay and what this means for your own life story.

David Hochfelder, Associate Professor of History, University at Albany, SUNY

Thinking about leaving? Then you need to read this book. Part memoir, part how-to guide, Leaving Revolution perfectly captures the post-pandemic moment of resignations, breakups, divorces, and more to help us forever think differently about leaving and staying.

Michele Gregoire Gill, Professor of Educational Psychology, University of Central Florida

One of life's frequently asked questions is Should I stay or should I go? I used to flip a coin, but there's so much more to consider: logistics, rational and emotional obstacles, adventure vs. commitment. Our identities are largely shaped by leave/stay decisions. Dr. Wisdom takes her personal experiences and reflections with those of more than a hundred others, and fits them into a historical, literary, and cultural context. Yes, human restlessness, finding ourselves, and finding where we want to be is ancient and universal. We are now (as we have been before) in a time of great upheaval and uncertainty. Leaving Revolution 's solid research and lived experience is garnished with humor, hope, and kindness. Any of the stories could be yours. You are not alone, and your path awaits.

Gerry Vogel, Librarian, Avon Lake, Ohio

Leaving Revolution addresses the complex decisions we all make as we choose to move on. As a home-leaver, job-leaver, and relationship-stayer, I am proud I raised a daughter who wrote such a powerful book about leaving. Reading this book has helped me understand her, understand leaving, and understand myself.

Georgette King, Author's Mom

We just change. This line sums up life so perfectly. Leaving Revolution book is an amazing resource for anyone facing change in their life who is looking for guidance and direction on how to make the big decision. It will not only allow you to see yourself in its pages and to find your how-to-guide of choosing to stay or go, but it will give you an understanding of the people around you and possibly bring healing to areas where you may not have had closure.

Dawn Taylor, Trauma Specialist and Coach, The Taylor Way

With a compelling history of confronting lifes challenges and pursuing her best self, Jennifer Wisdom frames the art of letting go with personal stories, vulnerability, and logic. This book provides me with a new mindset and overdue validation for some of the scariest decisions of my life. I wish I knew then what I know now.

Shannon Golden, Self-Employed Research Consultant, and 2021 member of The Great Resignation

LEAVING REVOLUTION

How We Are Learning

to Let Go and Move On

Jennifer Wisdom, PhD

2022 by Jennifer P. Wisdom

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 International Copyright Act, without the authors prior written permission except in brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

While all the stories in this book are true, some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Published by Winding Pathway Books

ISBN (paperback): 978-1-954374-42-3

ISBN (ebook): 978-1-954374-43-0

ISBN (hardcover): 978-1-954374-41-6

Editors: Fiona Marshall and Martha Bullen

Book design: Katie Dooley at PaperLime

Photo credit: Diego G. Diaz

For more information or bulk orders, visit: www.leadwithwisdom.com

Printed in the United States of America

Contents

I was raised on fantastic and powerful stories of leaving. My mothers father, born in the 1890s in Syria, was hidden by his parents for nearly a year when he was a child because young males were being conscripted to fight in an ongoing war. When he was around 13, a cousin with a visa died, and my grandfather assumed his identity, traveling through Turkey and France to emigrate to the U.S. My mothers maternal grandparents left the poverty of Naples, Italy in the early 1900s to make a better life in the U.S. My fathers ancestors left Holland for the new world in 1663, landing in what is now Brooklyn. These stories fascinated me as a child. Radically changing ones life by uprooting in this way, and seizing the opportunity to move across the world, seemed extraordinarily exciting.

As it happened, my early childhood provided opportunities to experience both the good and not-so-good aspects of leaving. After my parents divorce when I was three, my mother, brother, and I (and later my stepfather ) moved several times. Moves from economic necessity became an unsatisfying exercise in seeking bigger, better homes in fancier neighborhoods. These later childhood moves were very disruptive to me, resulting in the loss of recently earned friends and known neighborhoods, and leaving me with little sense of roots. On the other hand, I became a young expert in the logistics of moving, packing, and unpacking, saying goodbye, and making new friends. By 18, I had lived in nine homes and had only two good friends who had known me for more than three years. I felt in my bones, though, that my adventure was just starting. And I was right.

Almost everyone in the world has an experience of leaving. They leave one home for another as a child, as I did. They leave home for work or college or marriage. They leave relationships, jobs, religions, and communities. People also leave for adventures, for freedom, solitude, to take a break, or because they dont know why but they just have to get out of Here. Leaving is the stuff of history (the Declaration of Independence), great literature (The Odyssey), movies most dramatic moments (like the famous last scene in Casablanca) and televisions tearjerkers (when the soldiers of