Mandy Hale - Dont Believe the Swipe: Finding Love Without Losing Yourself

T o understand modern dating, we must first understand the terminology. The list below, though not exhaustive, contains some of the most popular terms used to describe modern dating (though there will no doubt be new words invented between now and when this book goes to print). Some words Ive heard from various sources, some I found online, and others I completely made up. (The terms I made up are denoted as Mandy originals.) All definitions are translated into my own voicebecause this is my book and I can do that.

bae: Its not as commonly used anymore... but the classics never really go out of style, so its still worthy of inclusion. Bae is your significant other or someone you want to be your significant other.

benching: When someone puts one romantic prospect on ice in favor of another one they find more promising. They will continue to come around and drop just enough crumbs to keep you interested in case the other relationship doesnt work out, but theres no real investment or intention behind their sparse communication.

bird-boxing: Inspired by the wildly popular Netflix film, this is when someone refuses to see or acknowledge just how truly toxic their relationship is.

boo: Your significant other.

bood up: When you have a boo and are officially off the market.

breadcrumbing: When someone drops just enough breadcrumbs to keep you interested without actually engaging in a relationship or meaningful communication. That guy who texts you WYD every other Thursday night and on holidays? Total breadcrumber. Breadcrumbing is a modernized term for leading someone on.

Caspering: Friendly ghosting, aka when both parties clearly dont want to see each other again after the first or second date so they mutually vanish from each others lives.

catching feelings: Developing feelings for someone.

catfishing: A term made popular by the hit MTV show of the same name. This is when someone essentially poses as someone else, even down to stealing their photos and life details, in order to attract people online.

cloaking (aka the new ghosting): Picture Harry Potter in his invisibility cloak. While being ghosted means your love interest has gone completely radio silent, cloaking takes it one step further. A cloaker doesnt just cease communication, they block you on dating apps, their phones, and social media. They essentially might as well be invisible because, to you, they no longer exist.

cuffing: When two people who have been dating each other for a while decide they want to date only each other. Taken from the term handcuffs , cuffing is when you choose to link hands and lives.

cuffing season: The time of year when people are most in the mood to commit and most likely to settle down, which tends to be September through February (i.e., the chilly months, the cozy months, the snuggling months, the holiday months). March through August ( Summer, summer, summertime! ) finds people scurrying out of hibernation and back on the prowl.

curving: A tactic deployed when you want to let someone down easy. Basically, the kinder, gentler rejection. Example: A guy youre not into texts to tell you how pretty you looked today when he ran into you at the coffee shop and casually drops a We should hang out sometime. You respond with Awww, youre so sweet! thereby technically responding to his text in a nice way while curving the conversation away from the idea of actually hanging out.

deep-like: Contrary to what you might be thinking, no, this is not when you like someone a whole lot. A deep-like is when youre stalking your crushs Instagram feed and you accidentally like a pic from, say, five years ago... thereby completely outing yourself and your social media stalking ways. Sorry, friendsnot even putting your phone on rice will get you out of this one.

dial-toning: When you give someone your digits, they reach out, and you never respond.

dogfishing: When guys post multiple pics with their dogs on dating apps to appear extra cute and cuddly to the opposite sex.