Irene Eash - Plain Faith: A True Story of Tragedy, Loss, and Leaving the Amish

ZONDERVAN

Plain Faith

Copyright 2014 by Ora Jay Eash and Irene Eash

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ePub Edition March 2014: ISBN 978-0-310-33685-3

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Cover design: Thinkpen Design

Cover photography: iStockphoto LP

Interior design: Beth Shagene

Printed in the United States of America

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To our children and grandchildren.

We are thankful for your relationships with Jesus Christ, and that you are diligent to follow Him.

May you have long lives and may you always have personal relationships and fellowship with each other.

Contents

Each one should test their own actions.

Then they can take pride in themselves alone,
without comparing themselves to someone else.

GALATIANS 6:4

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;
I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

EZEKIEL 36:26

ORA JAY

Nothing in life prepares you for losing a child. But losing two daughters on the same night... the pain is too much to describe. While I was growing up Amish, my life centered on trusting God and believing that His way is perfect; yet I wouldnt be human if I didnt question why a tragedy like this had to happen. And with the questions came guilt... guilt that Id been asleep at the road crossing when I should have been awake... guilt that after having two girls I had worried that Id never have a son... guilt that as a father I was supposed to protect my children instead of standing helplessly as they slipped from this world into eternity. Guilt.

What could I do with that guilt except carry it and pretend it wasnt there? At least thats what I believed for many years, that the guilt was mine to carry, that the rules I followed and the life I lived in my community would be good enough to reunite me with my daughters in the afterlife.

Yet as my wife will testify, there was a moment that was even harder than losing the girls. It was the moment we chose no longer to be Amish. The pain of it ripped at our hearts, but on the other side of that pain was hope. Like a rim of sunlight peeking over a storm cloud, the hope was plain and simple that we could place our salvation in Jesus hands, not in our works. Could it be enough? Is it enough?

The thought was crazy for those who were raised having the smallest details of their lives and dress under constant inspection. For us Amish who know the width of each garments hem, the placement of a prayer kapp upon the head, and the correct expression when singing hymns from the Ausband the wild abandon of trusting in grace alone seemed foolish. And walking away from the approval of everyone we knew and loved seemed foolish too.

There are familiar Scripture verses that we learned growing up:

Come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord. (2 Corinthians 6:17 KJV)

Be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2 KJV)

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV)

Yet when Irene and I started reading Gods Word for ourselves, we discovered other verses too like this one:

Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:37 39)

Plain Faith is the story of how we lost everything first our daughters, then our community, then our Amish way of life. Some of our old friends claim we left the Amish for the world. We believe differently. But youll see that for yourself as you follow our journey.

In the end, our story isnt about what we lost. Its about what we found...

Whom we found.

ORA JAY

August 27, 1982

Childrens laughter met our ears as I pulled up and parked our buggy in front of my cousin Floyds house. Floyd and Ruth lived quite a spell from us, but it was worth the trip because we had two girls whod be meeting their cousins for the first time.

Irene and the children climbed out of the buggy, and I proceeded to the barn to unhitch the tired horse. After months of good intentions we were finally getting together. All us cousins had been busy with the task of raising our young families. We had long told each other we wanted to get together. We wanted our children to know their cousins. Even though it would be a long night (twelve miles by buggy each way takes nearly an hour and a half), the ice cream social was our first attempt at coming together for fellowship as a family.

My bones were weary as I unhitched the horse, but I tried to hide my tiredness behind a smile. Irene and I had finished building our new house, and I was in the middle of remodeling the barn. Construction occupied my mind and time. If Amish men learn anything, its a good work ethic. As long as the sun is in the sky, there is work to be done.

Our two daughters, Suetta and Sarah Mae, raced toward their girl cousins. Dark-haired Sarah Mae was always able to keep up with her older sister. Shed learned to walk at nine months old and had never slowed down since. At seven and five, our girls were opposites in so many ways. Suetta was blond with blue eyes and Sarah Mae dark. Irenes family is made up of girls, and when we started having children we had two girls right away, though that troubled me. I thought, Arent we going to have any boys? Later, after we lost the girls, I knew I was being selfish.

Our young boys raced off to play too. Marion, our third child and first boy, had coal-black hair. He was nearly four. Eli Ray, who looked very similar to Marion, was just a little more than two, and Irene was heavy with our next child. With two girls and two boys and another on the way I was blessed and thankful for the family God had given me.

Earlier that day Suetta had come in to greet me. It was one of her first days at the local Amish parochial school. She had walked home one and a half miles from the one-room schoolhouse.

Hey, Dat! She paused at the entrance to the barn. Her golden hair glowed in the sun. She waved, and I offered a quick wave back, but I didnt stop to chat.