Alexandra Stoddard - Feeling at Home: Defining Who You Are And How You Want To Live

With admiration
and affection to
my literary agent,
Carl Brandt,
and my editor,
Toni Sciarra

A home is not dead but living, and like all living things, must obey the laws of nature by constantly changing .

CARL LARSSON

Most books about the home understandably dwell simply on the exterior and interior architecture, the furnishings, and the decoration in order to help the reader make the house or apartment look attractive and function efficiently.

Although these things are necessary and desirable, what is missing is the most important element of all.

Home can and should be the place where we get in touch with our individuality, our true nature. Home can and should be a place where we regularly experience our most sublime emotions. If we know the truth about how we feel, well be far better able to enhance the atmosphere of our house or apartment and express our innate genius in our home. In this way, we rise to a new level of consciousness, transforming ourselves and our homes as well.

We create an ideal atmosphere, where we feel at home, by transcending ordinary thinking into enlightened vision .

Feeling at Home is devoted, on this higher level of self-awareness, to the essential qualities of living with happiness and love every day.

This book defines the concept of feeling at home. Here, at home, we give birth to a whole new way of seeing the world and our relationship to it. Our hunger for meaningful experiences and a sense of belonging is satisfied when we seek depth in our daily living experiences. Whatever we do at home, we are doing for ourselves. Our surroundings can teach us to live with more reverence, more focus, and more flexibility.

Home is there for us as our inner self .

There is more to life than learning how to exist efficiently in environments that often do not reflect ourselves. We have seen what damage is caused by living in a dehumanized world. We shop by catalogue and television, cant always reach a human being on the telephone, and check out at the supermarket with a cashier who uses a scanner without making eye contact. No matter how efficient these technological advances may be, we all seem to be marching to a less loving, less caring, less gracious, less spiritually illuminating drumbeat.

All the more reason to ask ourselves: Are we living with harmony, fulfillment, and joy at home? Are we receptive to the feelings of our loved ones? Do we spend enough time in quiet contemplation, where we retreat from the marketplace into our private haven to affirm and confirm what our life is all about? Do we even spend enough time at home? Are we living as well as we would like, or are we too often anxious, emotionally exhausted, and stressed?

Life is a cornucopia centered in the home. Here is our personal castle. We should think of it that way and make this come true .

PETER MEGARGEE BROWN

Feeling at home with ourselves and being able to create a spirit of place that nourishes us physically, emotionally, and spiritually is a goal worthy of our highest priority. We can raise our sights high when were willing to break free from being conformists who live a conventional life simply because we are too afraid to express our uniqueness.

Being at home can and should be a sacred experience. Feeling content, at peace, serene and, at the same time, enthusiastic, is a gift of grace we receive when we learn to trust ourselves, take risks, and connect to our deeper selves. It is in this vast, broader perspective, where we have moments of awesome clarity, that our attitude toward life at home can be uplifted.

Being at home is a coming home to yourself, your spirit and your vital energy. We find our true home in the atmosphere, mood, and soul of our intimate, personal surroundings. Here were free to get into the spirit and swing of the joys of our daily domestic rhythms. If something isnt working out for us, we can change itimmediately. Even the most minor improvements can make us feel more at ease, more relaxed, more at home.

This is meeting time again. Home is the magnetAll that is dear, that is lasting, renews its hold on us: we are home again

ELIZABETH BOWEN

Have we forgotten that meaningful living takes time? The simple, quiet graces of a well-lived life have been abandoned. The nonmaterial things you and I cant buy and sell are at the very core of our sense of freedom and joy. Shooting the waves at the beach after a storm, walking through the woods at sunrise, sitting quietly alone in a garden, having a siesta with your spouse, are not wastes of time. If we dont take time to wonder, to stargaze, to be in awe of natures sheer majesty, were focusing on all the problems mankind brings to us that are less important in the long run. We should feel free to spend more time in contemplation, prayer, and meditation, when we fill our own hearts with light and faith and hope. We dont have to go to a chapel or a synagogue or a mosque to do this. We can meditate standing over the dishes in the kitchen sink, or fall to our knees in appreciation of our blessings as we wipe up the bathroom floor after a bath.

Living a civilized, cultivated, and joyful life at home is not only a possibility but should be our goal. We should open ourselves wide to the precious, magical possibilities of accepting the richness within us as well as in all of life. We can experience this inner awareness each moment wherever we are, whatever we are doing. All our endeavors can be spiritual acts, once we open our hearts to some fundamental truths about our nature and human nature, our living and our dying.