Alexandra Stoddard - Gracious Living in a New World: Finding Joy in Changing Times

TO Alexandra, Brooke, AND Peter

Carl, Toni, Ellen, Marysarah, Julie, Elisabeth, and Peter

Dear Readers,

We are living in a new world, one that challenges our peace of mind and our inner grace. With its frenetic pace and constant state of flux, modern life often feels chaotic and unstable, and leaves us unsure of the ground we walk on. Technology, while providing us many advantages, encourages us to race through our days so that we no longer know what wed do if we were to slow down. Labor-saving devices seem not only to have failed to enhance the quality of our lives and free up more time, but get between us and the immediate, sensory pleasures of life and increase the pressures on us to do more. Many of us feel cut off from lifes blessings, from our neighbors, from the wonders of nature, and from a sense of our own significance in the scheme of things. Modern life leaves us feeling spiritually starved.

In our rush for newer, quicker, better, we seem to be missing out on what we fundamentally crave, a calmer, gentler, sweeter, and more gracious life. Is it easy to achieve such a life? Definitely not. Is it possible? Absolutely, positively, certainly, yes. (Dont look for impossible from me; Ive never found a solution in cynicism.)

When my husband and I began spending more time in our little cottage in a small Connecticut village, we discovered a new path, a slower path that can be followed any time, anywhere, by anybody. This road is a very old road. Gandhi spoke of it when he urged, We need to learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose. Awareness, attentiveness, and appreciation are the energies that light our path toward gracious living.

Were on a pilgrimage together in this ever-changing world. But the pilgrimage always takes us back to the same place, back to ourselves and the basic, essential pleasures that constitute a rich and fully lived life in any age. We can put first things first and determine for ourselves what we need and what we can live without. By changing the direction of our gaze toward our inner needs we can begin to see what really holds us together.

Whom do you know who is grace-filled? What are their passions? Have they simply been blessed with good fortune, or did they have to learn to strive for whats important? When you take a closer look at a person who lives graciously, whether he is nine or ninety-nine, you see an energetic, spirited, loving person who has a zest for living and enjoys the miraculous gift of life. The world is extremely interesting to a joyful soul. We are surrounded by opportunities for living with graceour own hands and our own hearts are all the tools well ever need.

We have so much to learn. We have rushed past the fundamental joys of living, but we can find our way back. Life is so wondrously rich with possibility. The more we welcome and value each day, the more we can do to restore grace and meaning in our lives. Look for the spirit of grace as it unfolds everywhere before you. To find grace-filled opportunities, all you need is to be open and enthusiastic. We have so much to share. Our grace adds rays of brightness in times of adversity as well as in times of relative peace. Grace begins within each of us and flows out to our families, to our neighbors, and to the whole universe. Together, lets celebrate the gift of grace.

Grace to you,

Alexandra Stoddard

In the village of Stonington, Connecticut, where my husband, Peter, and I have the good fortune to spend precious time in our small but lovely eighteenth-century cottage, everyone buys the daily newspaper at Frankie Keanes news office. No one in Stonington has the newspaper delivered. At seven oclock Frankies store bubbles with activity; everyone there has either jogged, bicycled, or walked their dogs over to enjoy the simple pleasure of picking a fresh newspaper off the pile and sharing a few moments with neighbors. When Peter picks up his New York Times every morning, Frankie has already penciled in Pete on the top left-hand corner of the paper. No one calls my husband Pete but Frankie Keane. As Frankie completes his transactions, he closes his cashbox, punctuating the gesture with a contented Eeah, leans against the counter, crossing his arms, and tells a story about his almost ninety years in Stonington, where his mother owned the store before him.

For beauty, truth, and goodness are not obsolete; they spring eternal in the breast of man.

E MERSON

There are lots of things we can do here by phone, fax, car, or any time- and energy-saving device, but somehow its always sweeter to take the time and physical energy to do things ourselves. If were not in the mood to cook, we dont simply pick up the phone and wait for our meal to be delivered to our door. We go to the fish store at the dock, select a lobster, and ask that it be boiled and shelled. The exchange with the lobsterman is usually accompanied by a friendly argument over whether we will come back for our lobster or wait. Every time we flip a coin to decide. Either way, we like to take our time. Who knows what will happen in the stolen minutes while waiting? A chance to reflect, rest, maybe happen upon some friends, or watch a boat go by....

Here the people seem to possess the secret of tranquility and to live lives of more than surface contentment.

L OUISE D ICKINSON R ICH

In Stonington everyone has an easy smile. No one rushes. Theres never any need to. Life has a steady, reliable pace. Theres always time to smell the roses; we welcome the day and look for opportunities to let life unfold. Emerson wrote, To find the journeys end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of golden hours is wisdom. After we pick up the paper, often we stop off at The Yellow House, a local tea and coffee shop owned by a friend who lives across the street. Water Street swings up to High Street, where the shop is located; hanging out at a table on the caf sidewalk is a great way to see the village and all the people coming and going. On the way back to the cottage, we wave to the shopkeepers, sometimes stopping for a brief visit to exchange views with the owners as well as the other customers, who are often our neighbors. In restaurants, we mingle, friends come over to our table, and sometimes we pull up chairs to sit together. The post office is a meeting place where we invariably see friends; here everybody exchanges a few cheerful greetings. The lumberyard is another favorite place to poke around at leisure, where you may discover just the right nail or piece of wood for a home improvement project while running into fellow villagers.

The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware.

H ENRY M ILLER

Time softens its edges in the village, becoming a continuous stream of engaging moments where were more in tune with our senses and the rhythms of nature. Theres always time to go to the nursery to buy more grass seed, brew iced tea, pick herbs from the garden, and have an afternoon siesta. The fresh bread, strudels, and cookies are transported warm from the oven of a restaurant a few blocks down the street. I never stock up on anything because I enjoy having certain errands to run each day.

The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds can change the outer aspects of their lives.