Table of Contents
THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO:
My husband, the count,
without whom there would be no countess;
My children,
who inspire and delight me;
Princess Hohenlohe,
for the book she never did get to write;
And my parents and my family,
who are responsible for the woman I am today.
Acknowledgments
I like to send notes of appreciation, and Im making this one public. First, I would like to thank all of you who wrote to me with questions and asked me for my advice. This book would not have happened without your encouragementyouve been my absolute inspiration.
Being on The Real Housewives of New York City gave me the opportunity to share my life with the viewers whose response was so enthusiastic. I thank Lauren Zalaznick, Andy Cohen, and Christian Barcellos of Bravo for believing in the countess. And I would like to thank Ricochet Television and everyone involved in the production, especially Jenn OConnell and Keira Brings. Of course, I cant forget my new extended family, Jill, Bethenny, Alex, Ramona, and Kelly.
I am deeply grateful to everyone who has helped me to write and publish Class with the Countess. My friends and family have been so supportive as I just about disappeared to write this book in such a short time for the new season of The Real Housewives of New York City. Id try out ideas with them, and they were indispensable when they read early drafts of the manuscript and gave me their commentsso thank you, Ann-Marie Porter, Michael and Paula Nadeau, Mae Mougin, Zilia Sicre, Barbara K, and Sally Terry. Your insights and contributions added a whole new dimension to the book.
David Vigliano, my literary agent, had faith in me from the start. He has great vision, and he knew that people wanted not only an etiquette book, but were also interested in my stories. He introduced me to Diane Reverand, a publishing legend, who helped me with the concept and the writing. Without her, this book would never have been finished. We spent many hours at my kitchen table, working on the manuscript with an occasional break for a chicken Caesar salad and ginger tea. Thanks also go to Mike Harriot of the Vigliano Agency and Paul Schindler, the best entertainment attorney in town.
Special thanks go to Marili Forastieri, who has such a good eye for style and has taken some of the best photos of me, including the cover of this book. Thanks so much to Terri Gold, a dear friend, who has always been there to take pictures of special occasions in our lives. And my niece Nicole Nadeau for doing such a great job with the illustrations.
And then there are all the wonderful people at Gotham Books: William Shinker, my extraordinary publisher; Lauren Marino, my brilliant editor; Brianne Ramagosa, her outstanding assistant; Sabrina Bowers from the design department; and Lindsay Gordon from publicityall have given me great direction, they are consummate professionals, and I dont worry about a thing knowing they are in charge.
Ive saved my family for last, though they are always at the top of my list. My mother, brothers, and sisters helped me to remember how we were as we grew up. Alex read the manuscript with a published authors eye and was such a help in remembering the highlights of our life together. My children, who were so forgiving of my preoccupation with the book but were also my toughest critics. Thanks for your patience and understanding.
WithReal Housewivescostar Jill Zarin (PHOTO BY ROB RICH)
INTRODUCTION
How Does a Countess Come to Be on Reality TV?
Since the first season of The Real Housewives of New York City began to air, I have been deluged with e-mails and letters asking my advice on everything from what to wear to knowing what to say, from table manners to how to radiate self-confidence. Little did I expect the response my appearance on the show would generate. It became obvious that people are confused about what is appropriate in a world in which anything goes, and fans were turning to me for advice. People seem just as eager to know my story, especially how I became a countess, and are curious about what being an aristocrat means today. I decided to address all of the many questions I have received by combining my story, the life lessons I have learned along the way, and my distinctive advice on how to navigate our sometimes rude world with elegance, by writing Class with the Countess.
Naturally, one of the first questions people ask is why I agreed to take a role in the show.
Though you might not expect a countess to participate in a reality show, the decision to appear on Real Housewives of New York City came easily to me. I have always been daring and adventurous, as you will soon see.
When I received an e-mail from my friend Jill Zarin, offering to talk to me about appearing on a show to be called Manhattan Moms, I was definitely curious. But let me start at the beginning.
I met Jill Zarin at the after-party of a screening of Michael Moores movie Sicko that I had attended with my niece Coryn. At one point, I looked over to see my niece talking with an older gentleman. I joined them and learned that Bobby Zarin had invited Coryn to the Zarins Fourth of July party so that his son could meet her. We had a lively conversation, and Jill Zarin joined us. We really hit it off, and our paths continued to cross. Thats how it is in New Yorkit can feel like a small town sometimes.
My family went off to Europe for a few weeks. While our children attended camp in Switzerland, my husband and I vacationed with our friends Sebastian and Elizabeth in the South of France. The day we returned, I found the e-mail from Jill about the show. I took the leap and met with the producers.
I decided to do the show for a number of reasons. First, I wanted the history of the de Lesseps family to be better known in the United States. They are so respected in Europe and little known here. From building the Suez Canal to presenting the Statue of Liberty to the United States for the French, their international contributions have been exemplary and deserve more recognition in my own country.
In addition, I wanted people to know that a countess does more than shop, have lunch with her girlfriends, and get her nails done. I hoped to draw attention to the charities with which my husband and I are involved. After all, Alex received The Fulbright Humanitarian Award in 2005 for his work in creating Myanmar Childrens Association and in microfinance, bridging the gap between rich and poor.
I also thought it would be fun for our children, Victoria and Noel, to experience the TV world. Not only would they develop poise and learn how to handle themselves in any situation, but they would also get an education on how a TV show is produced, the lighting, the various technicians, and all the work that goes into making an hour of TV a week.