Diana Mercer - Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys to Resolving Conflict and Rebuilding Your Life

Table of Contents

ADVANCE PRAISE FOR Making Divorce Work

Making Divorce Work is an absolutely essential work. This is the book everyone getting divorced needs to get through the difficulties of breaking up and going on with your life. Divorce clears the way for a new beginning, but it is too often a bad beginning unless people make use of the wise and practical advice this book contains. And this book is especially a must-read for people with children. I am thrilled to be able to recommend this book to people who need it.

Mira Kirshenbaum,
author of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
and When Good People Have Affairs

Making Divorce Work translates Diana and Katies unique mediation model into skills anyone can use and that will revolutionize the way people get divorced.

Len Jacoby, founder of Jacoby & Meyers Law Offices

Imagine a world in which instead of ruining your life, your divorce could help you redefine your goals for yourself and your family. Now there is a book that shows you how to make this happen in eight simple steps: Making Divorce Work.

Nell Merlino, author of Stepping Out of Line,
CEO and founder of Count Me In for Womens Economic Independence,
and the creative force behind Take Our Daughters to Work Day

I am going to give a copy of Making Divorce Work to any friend or family member who is confronted with this situation. And I am most grateful to Mercer and Wennechuk for showing me how to make my own marriage stronger and more fulfilling.

Wiliam D. Henderson,
professor at Indiana University Maurer School of Law

One of the saddest episodes we can go through in life is to engage in pitched battle with someone to whom we once said adoringly, I do. Divorce is agonizing enough for many of us, without the added heartbreak of venom and hatred spewing into the lives of family and friendsespecially children, whose stability is being ripped apart and whose loyalty may be torn between Mom and Dad. Here now comes a book that is chock-full of simple, everyday, practical steps that can ease our way through a minefield so we come out not just with our sanity intact, but actually far more conscious as individuals. Its countless insights show how a breakupwhether we want it or wish to God it werent happeningcan end up actually advancing our well-being. Youll use Making Divorce Work as a daily manual, shoring up every facet of your life from emotional to financial. Save yourself a lot of painand share it with friends who are already in pain.

David Robert Ord, author of Your Forgotten Self and Lessons in Loving

Many divorce books can be read; this book must be studied. The authors not only intuitively and insightfully understand what people going through divorce need and how they feel, they also offer self-help tools such as writing a divorce mission statement to help readers prepare for success through this life-challenging event. I predict that in the future people will select their professionals, in part, as to whether this book is front and center in their client libraries and whether the divorce professional can use Making Divorce Work as a client guide to supplement their competent advice and expertise.

Forrest (Woody) Mosten, collaborative lawyer, mediator,
and author of Collaborative Divorce Handbook
and The Complete Guide to Mediation

Mercer and Wennechuk have written a wise and thoughtful book that will spare anyone going through a divorce much trauma. This is how law ought to be practicedwith compassion for the lives of those going through a major life change, and pragmatic and grounded advice for making life on the other side not only possible but powerful.

Lauren Robel, Dean and Val Nolan Professor at Indiana University Maurer School of Law

It is said that the emotional impact of divorce is up there with traumas such as a death of a loved one and moving house. It is also likely there are only a few other human experiences guaranteed to bring out the worst in us. There are many who today live with ongoing regret and shame for their unconscious reactive behavior because of a disastrous divorce experiencenot to mention the number of children emotionally scarred because of it. This gloomy scenario is no longer necessary. Making Divorce Work brings consciousness, clarity, practical applicable wisdom, and common sense insight into what is undeniably one of the most heart-wrenching experiences any human being may have to face. Mercer and Wennechuk skillfully provide us with a practical, conscious, creative, and healing tool to support not only those moving through this experience but also those wishing to be of greater support when their loved ones are faced with such an extreme life change. Divorce no longer has to be the emotional tsunami we have been programmed to anticipatenow it can serve as an opportunity for experiencing profound growth in personal relationships, emotional development, and as a platform from which to creatively initiate a transformed life experience.

Michael Brown,
author of The Presence Process and Alchemy of the Heart

When I studied law nearly fifty years ago, divorces were granted on the basis of fault. Today fault is no longer a legal issue, but cultural influences still bring fault into the dissolution process, which is too often filled with disappointment, anger, and grief. This book walks the reader through the various provocations and events that can take place in the dissolution process and provides common-sense, helpful suggestions on how to envision and pursue a successful life during and after the dissolution. The purpose of this book is not to reduce the divorce rate, which has been steady at 40 percent, but to reduce the negativity and recovery time associated with it.

Gerald L. Bepko, chancellor emeritus
at Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis,
and former dean at IU School of Law Indianapolis

Making Divorce Work is a fresh approach to a topic that has received much attention but continues to be a significant transition and painful process with long-term implications for the health of all family members. With all of the self-help books that have been written about divorce, what possibly could be new to say? These authors offer practical and down-to-earth advice for managing difficult feelings and cultivating the co-parenting relationship so that you can live with yourselfand your exduring and after the divorce. The authors emphasis on finding inner peace, and turning that peace outwards gives the message that you can divorce in a way that facilitates learning about yourself, taking responsibility for your actions, dealing peaceably with your ex, and liking who you are even better at the end of the day. This is no easy feat to accomplish, but Making Divorce Work will make you feel like it is truly an attainable goal.

Marsha Kline Pruett, PhD, MSL,
coauthor of Your Divorce Advisor

Read this book before you talk to a lawyer! You will save yourself tons of heartache, talk, and money. If you already have a lawyer, read this before you utter another word to them. Share this book with a friend or family member who is divorcing; it will be the kindest, most generous thing you could ever do for them. They will thank you and their children will thank youfor years to come. This book is a game changer!

Lisa Earle McLeod, author of The Triangle of Truth and Forget Perfect