Linda Eyre - Grandmothering: The Secrets to Making a Difference While Having the Time of Your Life

Copyright 2018 by Linda Eyre

All rights reserved.

Published by Familius LLC, www.familius.com

Familius books are available at special discounts for bulk purchases, whether for sales promotions or for family or corporate use. For more information, contact Familius Sales at 559-876-2170 or email .

Reproduction of this book in any manner, in whole or in part, without written permission of the publisher is prohibited.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

2017959531

Print ISBN 9781945547904

Ebook ISBN 9781641700467

Printed in the United States of America

Edited by Leah Welker

Cover design by David Miles

Book design by Brooke Jorden

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

First Edition

Grandmothering

Grandmothering

The Secrets to Making a Difference
While Having the Time of Your Life

NEW YORK TIMES #1 BESTSELLING AUTHOR

L INDA E YRE

To my mother, Hazel Jacobson, who is my beloved hero

To my mother-in-law, Ruth Eyre, who gave me my extraordinary husband

To my daughters and daughters-in-law, whose expert help kept me sane

To my favorite (and only) sister, whose genes I share and who embraces adversity

To all my grandmothers, who passed me their molten gold

To my treasured friends, who have contributed their stellar ideas to this book

To Inklings, who initiate, calculate, and stimulate

To my grandchildren, for their delightful deliveries of love

this book is for you.

I NTRODUCTION

Having the Time of Your Life!

N o one can fully describe the exhilaration of holding that first grandbaby in your arms! The baby of your baby, fresh from heaven. There lies joy and rapture, anticipation and wonder, along with some worry about what the future will hold for that precious bundle! But for grandmothers, the inevitable ups and downs are all wrapped up in a big beautiful sphere of adventure called having the time of your life.

It is said that parenting is an investment and grandparenting is the return on the investment. Taking that one step further, how much time and thought and effort we invest in grandmothering can eventually produce substantial returns. Maybe we dont start out thinking about leaving a legacy to these beautiful little people who bring so much light to our lives. As time goes on, though, we realize that the legacy that we leave to our grandchildren probably wont end with a monument built of brick or stone or even a bronze plaque dedicated in our honor. What we leave will be invisible. It will be a monument of love and understanding and integrity and courage inside their minds and hearts that will stand forever.

I have recently realized that most of us are going to be grandmothers much longer than we were mothers with children in our homes. Hover over your life as a grandmother for a moment. Look down from above and, as you see yourself with your present and future grandchildren, ask yourself these questions: How do I maximize my time with my grandchildren? Do they know how much I love them? Am I teaching them about our family narrative? Do I spend quality one-on-one time with them if they live near me, or do I communicate frequently enough even if they live far away? Am I thinking about actively teaching them, or am I just tending them? What will they remember about me? How do I become a champion for each one? Am I remembering to have fun? What legacy do I want to leave that will help light the path ahead of them in this jarring but joyful world? These are sobering questions that well ponder together as you read on.

Ive learned that, try as I might, I cant find one grandchild who is exactly like another one, even our identical twin grandsons. When all our children were home and people asked me about our family, I would I say, We have nine children one of every kind! Little did I know that there were many, many more kinds which would later show up in our grandchildren. The diversity that comes with these little people is divine! At the moment of this writing, we have thirty-one precious grandchildren. Each has unique gifts and unique problems. Some grandchildren are dreamy and artistic, some are balls of fire, some are quiet and reflective, and the others are about everything in between. All have gorgeous gifts and sometimes intense issues. And each one is dearly loved. As Anne Morrow Lindbergh said, Only love can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished.

Grandmotherhood is a time of ripening. I love this quote as it applies to grandmothers:

The thing you are ripening toward is the fruit of your life. It will make you bright inside, no matter what you are outside. It is a shining thing.Stewart Edward White

The grandmothers learning curve is slow and mellow, unlike the refiners fire that we felt as young mothers. We are getting better, and even though were a bit wrinkled up, we can shine!

The nice thing is that we are usually no longer responsible for the nitty-gritty, everyday discipline and character building of these children. But the secret is that we are still able to teach them the values we hold dear. They may not snatch it right up and say thanks, but they will remember more than we realize if we make deliberate efforts to teach them about the meaningful and magical things of life. And looking to the far distant future, our example of love and care and encouragement will almost surely make them better grandparents.

Sadly, just when we think we deserve to relax and enjoy life, we may be thinking more about aching backs and creaky knees than wed like to. Even though we sometimes cant remember what we just came up the stairs for and our sight may be getting fuzzy, we can more clearly see solutions to problems with wisdom beyond what we could have imagined when we were young. In fact, we sometimes feel that we have the solution to many of our granchildrens problems if someone were to ask, right?

Being a grandmother is no walk in the park! Life and relationships become complicated. We may be dealing with a nasty divorce of one of our children, a grandchild with serious medical or emotional issues, or even a grandchild that seems to be lost to drugs. But surviving those sometimes-grueling trials elevates us and makes us stronger in ways that only come with age. Like it or not, those experiences produce a plentiful supply of wisdom and understanding, even beauty for ashes (Isaiah 63:1 KJV).

No matter what our circumstances are with our grandchildren, we can make a difference in their lives! Whether we live next door or halfway around the world, we can be an influence for good in the lives of our grandchildren in ways that they sometimes wont get until we are gone.

We can love them unconditionally and with abandon. As the clever Erma Bombeck said, A grandmother loves you from when you are a bald baby until you are a bald father and all the hair in between. One of the best secrets about grandmothering is that the love we give to our grandchildren they so freely give back to uslove that is filled with delight! Our daughter Saydi transcribed this message straight from the mouth of her three-year-old, who was too young to write and send it to me: Dear Grammie, I like your face. I like your cheeks. I like to kiss and cuddle them. Love, Emmeline.

I am grateful for the many brilliant, creative mothers and grandmothers, friends, and family members who have added their own secrets as well as their unique depth and breadth of experiences (and recipes) to this book! Hopefully these ideas will add to the unique plans you already have and cheer you on to your joyful journey of creating a legacy and making a difference while having the time of your life!