Holly Lefevre - The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: From Invites to Thank-you Notes - All You Need to Handle Even the Stickiest Situations with Ease

THE
EVERYTHING
WEDDING ETIQUETTE BOOK
3rd Edition

Dear Reader,
Congratulations on your engagement! Now get ready to enter the wonderful whirlwind of wedding planning! Just waityoull have visions of cakes and gowns and diamonds dancing in your head (no matter how much you try to stop them!).
It really doesnt matter how many weddings you have attended or how many times you have been a bridesmaid; its a very different story when you are the bride. The glory and the drama are all yours. Trivial details are not so trivial, a flower is not just a flower, and you now realize, yes, there are 100 shades of white and you can tell the difference between them.
As a wedding planner, I have seen too many brides dwell on the what-ifs and doubt their choices amidst the din of others opinions. For these brides, planning a wedding became a growing source of anxiety, and all the time and money spent planning a beautiful day didnt buy them the experience of really enjoying it.
The key is to keep it in perspective and remember that at the end of the day, the ultimate goal is to be married to the one you love.
Happy planning!

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THE
EVERYTHING
Wedding
ETIQUETTE
BOOK
3rd Edition

From invites to thank-you notesall you need
to handle even the stickiest situations with ease
Holly Lefevre

Copyright 2010, 2001, 1995 by F+W Media, Inc.
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any
form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are
made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by
Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-60550-094-1
ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-094-2
eISBN: 978-1-60550-687-6

Printed in the United States of America.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

For Joe and Jules
I cant wait to help plan your weddings!

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank the following people whose encouragement, insight, and guidance made this book possible: Amberly Finarelli at Andrea Hurst Literary Management for bringing this project to me; Katrina Schroeder at Adams Media for her guidance and for answering all of my questions; Melissa Allen, director of catering and special events at the Ebell of Los Angeles, for her creativity and advice; Cynthia Adkins of A Legendary Affair; Patty Anderson; Christine Cudanes; Mary Sushinski of Occasions Bridal Consulting and Event Design; April Whitney of April Whitney Events; and, of course, my husband, Brett.

TOP TEN THINGS A GRACIOUS BRIDE KNOWS

Others may not know proper etiquette, but that doesnt mean you should ignore it.

Be humble. You may be a bride now, but soon you will re-enter life as a mere mortal.

Respect tradition, but give it your own personal spin.

Mind your manners. Please and thank you will take you a long way.

Your friends and family do not work for you but are happy to help you because they love you.

Dont assume anything. Ask questions and get the details in writing.

Dont keep guests waiting and dont ask them to pay for anything.

Treat your vendors kindly and they will do the same for you.

Thank-you notes are a must. It is never wrong to express your thanks to your parents, your guests, and your vendors.

If it doesnt feel right, dont do it. When in doubt, trust yourself.

Contents

1. THE Question

2. The Business of Being a Bride

3. Foundations of Planning

4. Money Matters

5. The Supporting Cast

6. Playing Dress Up

7. Spectacular Soires

8. The Paper Trail

9. Getting to I Do

10. I Now Pronounce You

11. Greeting the Guests

12. The Celebration

13. Places, Please

14. Traditions

15. The Wedding Puzzle

16. The Best Laid Plans

17. When the Partys Over

18. Double Take

Introduction

Trying on gowns, tasting cakes, breaking open the bubblytalk about the time of your life! Go ahead and enjoy. Dive into that stack of bridal magazines and hop on the web to surf every fantastic wedding websitebut remember you will eventually have to come to terms with the realities of wedding planning.

Planning a wedding can be a little overwhelming and slightly perplexing. Not only do you have a hundred different things to worry about, but your mother, future mother-in-law, and just about everyone you know is probably trying to tell you the right and wrong way to do things. Everyone, it seems, is an expert on weddings. So whats a well-meaning bride to do? If youve never planned a wedding, how can you be expected to know what is and isnt proper? Even if you have planned a wedding before, the definition of proper may be quite different than it was the first time.