Anna Post - Emily Posts Wedding Etiquette, 6e

To all of the couples who say I doWe wish you every happiness!

CONTENTS

Many thanks go to all the couples, their parents, and attendants who shared their insights and wedding questions with The Emily Post Institute, either through our website, Facebook page, or columns in the New York Times.

We cant say thank you enough to Tricia Post, who has helped shepherd this book from start to finish. Its been a pleasure and a singular honor to be able to work so closely with our mom.

For their unwavering support and for always willing to be the voice of reason, we thank the team at The Emily Post Institute, particularly Elizabeth Howell; Matt Goodman; Peter Post; Daniel Post Senning; Virginia Keyser; Dawn Stanyon; Emma Crockett, our intern; and our agent, Katherine Cowles.

A special thanks to Emily Krump, our intrepid, cheerful, and unflappable editor, who saw the book through editing and production, and to the team at William Morrow: Liate Stehlik, Lynn Grady, Jennifer Hart, Kathryn Gordon, Joseph Papa, Joyce Wong, Leah Carlson-Stanisic, and Karen Lumley. They were joined by the creative talents of designer Kris Tobiassen and illustrator Happy Menocal, whose work gave shape and life to the stories and advice within.

We have been fortunate to be able to call on our network of professionals who work within the wedding industry. They have been generous with their advice and defining the gold standard in their fields: Matt Bushlow, Kris Engstrom and Britta Johnson of In Full Bloom, Scott Flynn, Sabin Gratz and Melissa Mercer of Sabin Gratz Photography, Mike Hakim, Deborah Jarecki, Adrea Kofman, Dale Loeffler of Catering by Dale, Scott MacMillan (DJ SMac), Katherine Meyers, Elizabeth Singleton of Events by Elizabeth Palmer, and Terrell Titus. Special thanks also go to friends who have shared their wedding experiences and wisdom: Nicole and Michael Atherton, Suzanne Flynn, Michelle Lambert, and Leigh and Peter Phillips.

Thank you to all of the wedding magazine editors for whom we have written, especially Marilyn Oliveira, previously of Inside Weddings.

We owe a debt of gratitude to Emily Post, our great great grandmother who started it all, and to our grandmother, Elizabeth Post, and our aunt, Peggy Post, who took on Emilys mantle and have led thousands of couples to the altar with grace and courtesy. We are proud to continue the tradition.

It is my great pleasure to tell you about Anna Post and Lizzie Postmy nieces and key spokespersons for The Emily Post Instituteand their most recent accomplishment, Emily Posts Wedding Etiquette, 6th edition. This updated book is the ultimate go-to guide for brides, grooms, and their families as they plan their weddings.

Most recently, Anna, Lizzie, and I had the opportunity to collaborate on the extensive revision of Emily Posts Etiquette, 18th edition, so I can tell you with confidence that they bring a fresh perspective to the complexities of wedding planning and the etiquette dilemmas that often arise. Anna is the author of two previous wedding etiquette books, Emily Posts Wedding Parties and Do I Have to Wear White?: Emily Post Answers Americas Top Wedding Questions. She also writes for Inside Weddings magazine and for regional bridal magazines such as St. Louis Bride, Orlando Weddings, Charlotte Weddings, Vermont Vows, and Well Wed. Lizzie is the author of How Do You Work This Life Thing?, a comprehensive guide for young adults heading to college, their first apartments, and jobs. Together Lizzie and Anna co-authored Emily Posts Great Get-Togethers, a modern guide for home entertaining, inspired by their own passion for hosting parties. Both Anna and Lizzie have answered literally hundreds of wedding etiquette questions posed by couples on The Emily Post Institute website, when they meet with brides and grooms at wedding events, and when they have been interviewed by the media about the latest questions in the world of weddings.

The entire process of planning a wedding is thoroughly covered in the 6th edition, but what makes this book unique is the warm and level-headed way Anna and Lizzie address the decisions that involve the relationships of weddingsmuch the same way that a good friend would help solve a problem. They are passionate about helping brides and grooms tailor their weddings in innovative ways that weave in their personalities and focus on their guests, and by merging traditions with the many new options available to todays brides and grooms. Annas and Lizzies insights focus on positive planning and individual needsnot on the mustsallowing each bride and groom to decide what works best for their particular wedding. They have a way of putting people at ease, whether its a stressed-out bride, a nervous groom, or a demanding mom.

There have been many changes in the worldand in the world of weddingssince the previous edition of Emily Posts Wedding Etiquette was published in 2006. This 6th edition of the book covers the latest wedding trends and realities, from the best way to keep a wedding green to the impact of technology. For example, does going green mean that its okay to send wedding invitations via email or as a text? Mobile devices have become essential wedding communication and planning tools, and Anna and Lizzie look at how to use them effectively and considerately. Social media, also, plays a big role in most of our lives and its not surprising that it has an impact on your weddings, too. Wedding websites are now standard, but couples still need solid advice on keeping them gracious and guest friendly. Anna and Lizzie tackle what works and what doesnt in our ever-changing world in a way that helps couples build confidence as they make decisions about their weddings.

This 6th edition of Emily Posts Wedding Etiquette is the gold standard for brides and grooms. It is with my best wishes that I encourage you to enjoy reading these pages and planning your wedding.

The best is yet to come! May you have a joyous wedding and a lifetime of happiness.

PEGGY POST

January 2014

Youre engaged! As the couple of the moment, its likely that youre in a whirlwind of rejoicing with your parents and friends and picturing a life of married bliss. With all the excitement comes another visionthat of a perfect wedding. But what does perfect mean? For one thing, it no longer describes only the storybook formal event with six bridesmaids and yards of white tulle. In truth, the ideal wedding is one that is a reflection of who you are as a couple; is considerate, inclusive, and patient with your closest family; and takes your guests comfort into account at all times. Todays idea of perfection is about planning your wedding and any related celebrations with the following ideas in mind:

Let consideration be your guide. Make decisions based on maintaining and caring for the important relationships in your lives.

Rely on diplomacy: Employ tact and sensitivity when involving othersincluding stepparents and extended family members.

Give thought to the kind of occasion that you, your family, and friends will feel comfortable with and enjoy.