Karen Scalf Linamen - Chocolatherapy: Satisfying the Deepest Cravings of Your Inner Chick

Chocolatherapy

Chocolatherapy

Satisfying the Deepest Cravings
of Your Inner Chick

KAREN SCALF LINAMEN

2007 by Karen Scalf Linamen

Published by Fleming H. Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

Printed in the United States of America

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

ISBN 10: 0-8007-3189-1
ISBN 978-0-8007-3189-2

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the Contemporary English Version 1991, 1992, 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture marked AMP is taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture marked NIV is taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

For my sisters
Renee Berge and Michelle Willett.
If they ever make chocolate an illegal substance,
will you be my cell mates?

Contents

Appetizer

12. Transformation

If youve ever done the emotional-eating thing, raise your hand. No, not the one holding the Twinkie. The other one.

The bad news is that stress and crisis can send us reeling toward the pantry. The even worse news is that stress and crisis are everyday ingredients in the mixing bowl of life. After all, if life ran smoothly most of the time, what would it matter if every few years we got stressed and happened to cope by eating too many desserts? (By the way, since stressed spelled backwards is desserts, shouldnt we treat warts with straws? Or drink Evian as an antidote to being nave? Just wondering.)

No, the truly fattening truth is thatif your life is anything like mineyou get handed daily servings of stress and crisis, not to mention chaos, change, heartache, headache, and on special occasions, disillusionment la mode. In fact, some days life feels like a more-than-you-can-carry smorgasbord, baby, second-helpings mandatory.

Chasing down all that stress with junk foodfor medicinal purposes only, of courseis a tempting strategy. I dont know what your favorite binge-food happens to be (if its celery, close this book immediately and give it to a normal friend), but when Im on an emotional-eating bender, I reach for the chocolate. This is why my closet contains clothes ranging from size 12 to 24. But before you judge me as narrow-minded (albeit wide-hipped), let me assure you that Im an equal-opportunity binger. This means I also reach for chips. And doughnuts. Andlike last weeks bingeBit-O-Honey. You know what Im talking about, right? Those chewy, bite-sized candies that taste like honey even as they extract all your fillings. Except I couldnt stop with just a bit. What I really ate was more like Bag-O-Honey. My dentist sent me a thank-you card. From a five-star resort in Fiji.

Because of my own experiences with emotional eating, Im coming to a couple of realizations. The first is that dentists make way too much money.

The second realization has to do with my relationship with food. Its dawning on me thatwhen chaos, change, heartache, stress, or crisis send me foragingIm probably not really craving chocolate. At the risk of dissing my faithful cocoa friend, Im realizing chocolate is often just a quick fix, a tasty substitute, a melt-in-my-mouth imposter. Indeed, whenever Im careening toward ungodly amounts of comfort foodschocolate or otherwisechances are good that Im longing for something else. Something healthier. Something deeper.

Which brings up an important question: What could our lives be like if, instead of trying to satiate those deeper longings with food, we stopped settling for quick fixes and tasty substitutes and gave our souls whatever they might really be seeking? Would we find greater contentment in our lives? Would we glean deeper understandings of ourselves and our emotions? Most importantly, would we finally be able to get into our skinny jeans and stay there?

What are we hungry for?

Maybe your closet isnt like mine. Maybe it doesnt contain dresses made out of ships sails, but either way, you and I are still in the same boat. No doubt you know all too well the scenarios Im describing. Youre hungry too. Like me, sometimes you placate that hunger with instant smores you zap together in the microwave or bite-sized Snickers you lift from your kids Halloween stash when theyre not looking. (Note to self: Add graham crackers, marshmallows, and Hershey bars to grocery list.)

Not that those things are always bad.

Still, wouldnt it be great if we could feel a little less hungry? If we could feed our souls what they really need so that when we do decide to eat two quarts of Ben and Jerrys Chunky Monkey ice cream, were doing it out of choice instead of compulsion? (Note to self: Add Chunky Monkey to grocery list.)

So thats what were here to do. Figure out what were really craving so we can start feeding our spirits the nutritious stuff we need to grow stronger seventeen ways. Or seventy. Or whatever.

People talk about cravings as if theyre a bad thing. But Im not so sure. I think cravings are cool. Theyre a sign of life. A symbol of potential. A portal to opportunity and change. If we satisfy those cravings with the right things, I think we can really grow as women and human beings. If we satisfy those cravings with the wrong things, we grow anyway, if you can call it growth when your swimsuit shrinks four sizes between summers.

And thats another benefit of figuring out what our hearts are really craving. By my calculations, if you and I could stop pigging out on comfort food for six months, wed not only fit into sexy bikinis, wed have lowered our grocery bills enough to afford extended vacations to some exotic location, like maybe the Fiji islands. And because were going to look so hot, I think we should practice strutting a little between now and then. Just so were prepared. Just in case we happen to run into anyone we know down there.

Wouldnt it be fun to see a dentist open wide and say, Ahhhhh?

1
Hungry for a Change?

I listened to my latest cell phone message and winced at the familiar voice. The poor woman deserved a medal. Maybe even cash prizes and gifts from our sponsor. Definitely a pat on the back.

Hi Karen, Debbie again. Cheyenne and I came by earlier today with your cookies... I guess we missed you! Well try again tomorrow.

I would have gladly called her back and told her when Id be home, but she never left a phone number and each time she called, the word unavailable came up on my caller ID.

This tenacious woman had, to date, driven to my house on five different occasions trying to deliver the Girl Scout cookies Id ordered from her daughter a month ago.

The good news is that she finally reached me by phone one Sunday afternoon. The bad news is that she woke me out of a dead sleep.

Groggy, I slurred, Sure, anytime this afternoons fine. Whenll you be over?

She said, Actually, Im calling from your driveway.

I felt bad answering the door with sleep wrinkles on my face and mascara smudges around my eyes, but after all Id put her through already, I figured my beauty faux pas were the least of her concerns.