Kay Wills Wyma - Im Happy for You (Sort Of...Not Really): Finding Contentment in a Culture of Comparison

Praise for
Im Happy for You (Sort OfNot Really)

Kay Wills Wyma once again champions a much-needed culture shiftwith heartfelt insight she challenges us to choose contentment over comparison. Im Happy for You gently exposes the growing obsession with self-promotion and one-upmanship thats wearing us all out and, thankfully, offers wise solutions.

T RACEY E YSTER , author of Be the Mom and Beautiful Mess

Kay Wills Wyma captured my attention with her belly-laughing good storytelling steeped in reality as she tackled a question thats long overdue for an honest answer: What should we do about this comparison trap we find ourselves falling into daily? When comparison steals contentment, its a problem that demands a solution. Kay gives it to us in a way that is easy on the heart and good for the soul.

E LISA P ULLIAM , author and life coach

Who knew comparison was so prevalent and destructive? Awakening to this alone is worth the time invested in reading this honest and sometimes raw literary gem. Comparisons thievery of joy is arrested by the just let it go practicality Kay offers so transparently and humorously.

R OBIN P OU , executive coach and attorney mediator; coauthor of Performance Intelligence at Work

Kay Wyma has managed to address what were all dealing with on a daily basisthe ability to instantly compare our life to someone elses with a mere look at our phone. There we can see all the ways we are failing to be the best mom, the best wife, the best friendand the list goes on. In the pages of Im Happy for You, Kay offers insight into why we do this and how we can stop the cycle. If youre looking to live a life of contentment and authenticity and to be okay when your kid is the C student and not the valedictorian, youll find comfort and realistic solutions in this book.

M ELANIE S HANKLE , New York Times best-selling author of Sparkly Green Earrings

Im Happy for You is honest and funny, while tackling a serious problem that is stealing our joy: comparison. Kay creatively uses stories and personal confession to reveal the pitfalls of comparing, while offering a solid ladderbuilt on godly wisdomto help us climb out of that pit.Theres freedom on these pages.

J ENNIFER D UKES L EE , author of Love Idol

Kay Wyma hit a home run on the Focus on the Family radio program when she talked about ways moms can combat the entitlement mentality in their kids. In her new book, she scores another hit with an insightful discussion of the pitfalls of comparing your life to others, especially through social media. Her advice is timely and relevant.

J IM D ALY , president of Focus on the Family

Victims of comparison drive-bys litter the Internet. There are virtual warehouses of new ways to covet your neighbors home, decorating skills, summer vacation plans, or Pinterest-perfect kids birthday parties. In this paralyzing culture of obsessive comparisons, this book is the detox we all need. With a sense of humor and an unrelenting honesty, Kay walks us through the steps to finding our worth again in the God who never compares us but always only calls us by name.

L ISA -J O B AKER , community manager for (in)courage; author of Surprised by Motherhood

With both cultural relevance and biblical foundation, Kay Wills Wyma accurately defines the comparison problem and offers a solution. Im Happy for You is a must-read for anyone caught in the comparison trap.

J OSHUA B ECKER , founder of Becoming Minimalist

The pursuit of bigger, better, newer, and more never stops. With a compelling lilt, Kay Wills Wymas pen pulls us along only to expose and confront our comparison battle. From one co-struggler to another, Kay brings us perspective and relief.

Dr. M ICHAEL E ASLEY , former president of Moody Bible Institute; teaching pastor; host of Michael Easley inContext

Kay Wills Wyma has opened a powerful window on the reality of comparison and how its impacting all of us, including vulnerable young lives. With social media, instead of just keeping up with the Joneses, were now keeping up with the world. Kay navigates us through the pressures we all face and teaches us how to be genuinely happy for others.

K ATHY I RELAND , CEO at kathy ireland Worldwide

I M H APPY FOR Y OU (S ORT O F N OT R EALLY )

P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS

12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200

Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921

All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com.

Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.

Trade Paperback ISBN9781601425959

eBook ISBN9781601425966

Copyright 2015 by Kay Wills Wyma

Cover design by Mark D. Ford. Cover photos by K. Krebs | plainpicture; Superstock; and Glow Images

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

W ATER B ROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Wyma, Kay Wills.

Im happy for you (sort ofnot really) : finding contentment in a culture of comparison / Kay Wills Wyma. First Edition.

pages cm

ISBN 978-1-60142-595-9 ISBN 978-1-60142-596-6 (electronic) 1. ContentmentReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Christianity and culture. I. Title.

BV4647.C7W96 2015

261dc23

2014045933

v4.1

a

To anyone who has ever endured junior-high insecurities, even as an adult.

To everyone else: Really?

Contents

Obsessive Comparison Disorder

A Sign of the Times

It isnt what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.

Dale Carnegie

M y day hits an unexpected lull. All is quiet on the home front. And whats a person to do amid peace and quiet? Clean the house? Address and send envelopes containing Christmas cards from this and the past two yearsbefore July? Get stuff done?

No, of course not.

Quiet signals a prime opportunity to waste time on the Internet. So I check my e-mail. Then I click on Facebook to get caught up on what all my friends have been doing.