Cindy Hudson - Book by Book: The Complete Guide to Creating Mother-Daughter Book Clubs

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Table of Contents

Jo Madeleine, Catherine and Randy, whose love and support make all my efforts possible.

And to my mom, who first ignited my passion for books.

INTRODUCTION

WHEN I STARTED my first mother-daughter book club with my daughter Madeleine, books were already a passion for us. We had read together since she was born, and when her sister, Catherine, came along a few years later, reading together offered a way for Madeleine and me to have some time just for the two of us. Soon I began to make time to read to Catherine on her own as well, and sometimes we would choose a family book that my husband, Randy, or I would read out loud to everyone.

Even though we continued to make reading a priority in our house as the girls started school, I noticed in fourth grade that some of Madeleines friends labeled reading uncool. I wanted to find a way to keep it fun for her, and I also felt the need to connect socially with other moms. There never seemed to be enough time to get together with other women whose daughters were the same ages as mine. I also thought a mother-daughter book club would let me combine the fun of reading with my daughter and the opportunity to get to know other moms and their daughters. Fortunately, I found a kindred spirit in Madeleines Girl Scout troop leader, Karen Gotting. Karen had also been mulling over the idea of starting a book club, and we decided to begin one together. We each asked several moms to join us, eventually ending up with a group of six mother-daughter pairs.

Madeleine and I loved discovering books through our book club that we never would have found on our own.Whilewedidnt like every selection we read, we could often appreciate books we didnt like after wed talked about them in the group. Book club became something we looked forward to every month.

Three years after I created this club with Madeleine, Catherine let me know she was ready to be in a mother-daughter book club of her own. This time I joined with my dear friend Ellen Saunders, and each of us invited other moms. As with Madeleines club, our goal was to expand our connection to the community by bringing in mothers and daughters we hadnt known before, and again we ended up with six pairs. While our experience in this new club mirrored that of my first one in many ways, this group had its own personalitywe chose different books to read, had different ideas for activities outside of book club, and focused on different things in our discussions.

As the girls grew and started middle school, then high school, the books we read and the issues we tackled challenged us in unexpected ways. We ended up talking about many topics wed never envisioned discussing when our girls were in elementary school, including underage drinking, date rape, deciding whether to have sex with a boyfriend, teen pregnancy and parenthood, and many other types of risky behavior. We also read books that were laugh-out-loud funny, told tales of fantastical worlds, and relayed true stories about people and events.

When looking back over the long tenure of both my clubs, I realize we have accomplished even more than we hoped to when we started out. We have created a community of moms and daughters who share much more than a reading list. We have been there to cheer each other on, help each other through tough times, and contribute in some small but important way to raising each others daughters. We have imparted our values and beliefs through book discussions, and we have had a lot of fun in the process.

Our groups have changed to accommodate the girls evolving schedules and needs over the years, and now we are on the cusp of change again. The girls in Catherines book club are in high school, and those in Madeleines all plan to be in college during the fall of 2009. For the last year we have been very aware of the fleeting moments we have left together, and we are determined to find a way to continue meeting even after the girls leave home. Our connections are too strong at this point to let them fade away.

Ipassionatelybelievethatmother-daughter book clubs help us stay connected with our daughters and build lasting relationships with other people as well. These groups are capable of changing your life in ways you cant imagine when you are just beginning to consider organizing your first meeting. I wrote this book to help you answer the questions you will have as you put your group together, and as you build your club in the years that follow. My advice comes foremost from my own experience and that of the moms and daughters in my two book clubs. I talso comes from moms across the country who are as passionate about their mother-daughter book clubs as I am about mine. You will hear their voices as they share stories about books they have read, challenges they have faced, and other activities they have scheduled. This book is richer because of their input.

FOREWORD

I MET CINDY, HER daughter, and a handful of other mem bers of her book club in Portland last year. All of them had come to a reading I did at a local bookstore. Id exchanged a few emails a with Cindy prior to the meeting, so I knew a littlea about her website and her interest in spreading the I word about mother-daughter book clubs.

What impressed me most about that evening was not Cindy andherdynamismalthough she is definitely a dynamic person. What impressed me were the girlsthe daughters in her mother daughter book club. Each girl had such strongly held opinions; each had cultivated the ability to think critically about books. Im certain these girls would have been an impressive crowd if they hadnt been mother-daughter book club members, but it seemed to me that the experience of discussing books together on a regular basis had enlivened, emboldened, and enriched them. When I met those girls, I thought to myself, Thats what I want for my daughter.

My daughter, Kai, is just turning ten, and she and I have beeninamother-daughter book club for two and ahalf years.In that time Ive noticed some real changes in our book club girls. They are bolder, more self-assured, more discriminating about thebooksweread,and more precise in their observations.Some of this is, of course, due to maturationbut not all of it.

When we started our group, our daughters were seven. We didntreallyhaveaplan,but two of the moms in the triumvirate that initiated the club were in book clubs with their older daughters, so they had a lot of good ideas about how to run our own. Even so, we soon discovered that some of what worked in the otherclubsdidntworkinours.We arrived at our format largely through trial and error. Thats why I think this book provides a real service to moms organizing their own book clubs. What Cindy presents to you in these pages is not one formula for a successful book club, but many ideas about how to tailor the club to the needs of the individuals in your group.

Though my daughter is a terrific reader, I still read our book club books out loud to her. Every night, we locate our favorite fuzzy pink pillows, I pour two glasses of lemonade, Kai gets our snack, and we curl up together to read. It is one of the most enjoyable parts of my day. When we have finished our book club selection for the month, we still have this time together, but usually then we each read our own book. While reading side by side is nice, theres something special about experiencing the same book at the same time. Without the commitment to the club, I dont think the reading out loud would happen as consistently as it now does.

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