Biz Ellis - Youre Doing a Great Job!: 100 Ways Youre Winning at Parenting

This book is dedicated to all parents everywhere. You are not alone.

Hello! Guess what? This book is not designed to make you feel bad about yourself as a parent.

Can you believe it?

Look, we all know there are some people doing a bad job. Thats probably not you. We also know that there are a million and a half places you can go to make yourself feel bad about your parenting. So, were not going to be one of those places.

Heres a little story for you. Four years ago, two moms in southern California were privately having their own meltdowns because they each had a kid under 3 and it had turned out that parenting was actually about 70,000,000 times harder than theyd expected. And they were pretty sure it wasnt okay to say that out loud.

Whether through magic or desperation for human adult contact, these two moms met, became friends, and gradually revealed to one another that... um... even though they loveLOVE!their kids... being a mom is harder than they imagined. This confession felt scary at the time. Scary, but good. So scary and so good that (okay... youre onto us... those two moms were us) we had a feeling we were onto something. We decided to go public with our confession.

In March 2013, the podcast One Bad Mother was born. Since then, weve released more than 200 episodes, covering topics from breastfeeding to sleep training to sex to friendships to judging and jealousy, and beyond. Through the podcast, we discovered that, while everyone finds some aspects of parenting hard, everyone is actually doing a totally amazing job. Parenting is difficult, and sometimes when it doesnt come easily, we assume that means were bad at it. When we think this way, however, we tend to forget all the little ways were actually nailing it as parents every single day. For example: Did you get up in the morning today? Great! Thats hard! Did you do some stuff for your kids today? Awesome! Did you do any work or chores today? Youre A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

One of the hardest things about parenting is that it feels like nobody gives a hoot about your chaotic morning or your sick child or your flat tire or your baby who wont latch. It can make you feel so alone. Whats crazy, though, is how not alone we all are. Were literally all dealing with diaper blowouts, couch stains, weird interactions with teachers, money stuff, sleep stuff, relationship stuff, and on and on. We wrote this book to remind you of all the ways youre not alone and all the ways youre doing a great job.

This book contains more than 100 entries, broken down into four chapters: Chapter 1: Youre Doing a Great Job: When Youre Expecting; Chapter 2: Youre Doing a Great Job: With Your Baby; Chapter 3: Youre Doing a Great Job: With Your Relationship; and Chapter 4: Youre Doing a Great Job: With Your Toddler. Now, sit back and relax, perhaps with a favorite beverage, and allow us to overwhelm you with all the ways in which you are totally WINNING at parenting, even if you dont think you are.

You made the decision to become a parent. Whether its been your hearts desire since childhood, it came to you as a surprise!, you got the call, or you were outright tricked: Congrats! This is going to be the most amazing experience of your life and also the hardest experience of your life and guess what! Both can exist in the same space and time. Youre going to be great at thisand even when youre not, remember: You dont have to post everything on Facebook!

Whether youve taken a childbirth education course, read a few pages of a parenting book, or just did a google image search for baby, you did SOMETHING to prepare for this baby. Great! Now, youre ready!

The baby registry is done. You went online, or into a store, and did it. Maybe you love shopping and this was fun for you. Or maybe you just needed to get your mother-in-law/cousin/friend of a friend to stop asking you about it. (Its how they show they care.) Youll quickly realize that stores think you need A LOT OF STUFF just to get through any given day once the baby is born. And you might be turned off by the consumerism surrounding new babies. And you will doubtless endure judgments about what kind of toys and bedding and diapers youve picked out. But you did it!

So, take that, caring friends and family!

Y O U S U R V I V E D Y O U R B A B Y S H O W E R
(and the cake shaped like a baby coming out of a vagina)!

Youre figuring out where your baby will sleep! Whether its an area near the dining room table just piled with baby sh*t or an actual bedroom in your house with wall decals that youve painstakingly applied only for your kid to destroy with poop or permanent marker at a later date, youre getting your home ready for your lucky new child! And he or she is going to love it! Because its all he or she will ever know.

Your baby doesnt really care what his or her room looks like. But you do and that is absolutely okay. Enjoy the fun of decorating it the way you want because it makes you feel great.

YOURE ALLOWED TO FEEL GREAT.

WAITING. That is A THING. Whether you or your partner is carrying the baby, or you and your partner are waiting/watching/staring at a woman whos carrying your baby, or youre looking at pictures of the baby that will one day be yours... the waiting is for everyone. Its exciting and scary and youre doing a good job.

Due dates are a real crapshoot! Go ahead and get tickets to that concert or cancel all your plans for those last few weeks. If youre adopting, you may have absolutely no idea when you get your baby. So... thats a real crapshoot too!

ANYWAY: YOURE DOING A REALLY GOOD JOB.