Chuck and Jenni have hearts for Christ and hearts for kids. Both are found within these pages.
M AX L UCADO, BESTSELLING AUTHOR AND SENIOR MINISTER , O AK H ILLS C HURCH OF C HRIST , S AN A NTONIO , T EXAS
Chuck and Jenni are the real deal and they have awesome kids. But dont worry, this isnt a Barbie and Ken Guide to Perfect Parentingthis is a book to encourage real moms and dads dealing with real life problems. Chuck and Jenni emphasize progress, not perfection. So relax, read, laugh, and be inspired to enjoy your kids, without sacrificing your marriage or your sanity.
B ECKY F REEMAN, NATIONAL SPEAKER AND BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF W ORMS IN M Y T EA AND L IFE N OTES : A S URVIVAL G UIDE FOR P ARENTS OF P RESCHOOLERS
Chuck and Jenni Borsellino have hit a home run! With hilarious real-life stories, practical parenting principles, and hands-on advice based on biblical truth, their new book will capture your heart from the first paragraph through the final chapter. How to Raise Totally Awesome Kids is fast-paced, upbeat, fun, and down-to-earth. If you are raising a kid, or if you just know a kid, this book is for you!
C AROL K ENT, ACCLAIMED AUTHOR, SPEAKER, AND PRESIDENT OF S PEAK U P S PEAKER S ERVICES
Great people write great books and raise great kids. I know Chuck and Jenni well, and theyre as good offscreen as they are on. Youll love their book! Its practical and entertaining. Youll walk away with the determination that you can make this wonderful journey of raising kids.
D R . K EVIN L EMAN, AUTHOR OF M AKING C HILDREN M IND WITHOUT L OSING Y OURS AND HOST OF THE TELEVISION SHOW REALF AMILIES.COM
How to Raise Totally Awesome Kids is the quintessential Chuck and Jennifunny, honest, encouraging, and real. Their ring-true stories and gentle, wise advice demonstrate not only how to be a better parent, but also what to do when we fall down on the job. As a wife and mother of two teens, I connected with every example, found myself laughing and crying all the way through, and finished the book determined to make parenting my highest priority.
L IZ C URTIS H IGGS, AUTHOR OF M IXED S IGNALS AND B OOKENDS
The surprising benefit and secret power of Chuck and Jennis wonderful How to Raise Totally Awesome Kids is that it also teaches the parent how to become a totally awesome person. You cant teach what you dont know, and you cant pass on what you dont have, they write. With honesty and humor, they share their own family stories, invaluable insights, and practical tools to help you become an authentic, principle-centered parent whose kids will gladly follow in your footsteps.
N ANCY S TAFFORD, AUTHOR OF B EAUTY BY THE B OOK
HOW TO RAISE TOTALLY AWESOME KIDS
published by Multnomah Publishers, Inc.
Published in association with the literary agency of
Alive Communications, Inc.
7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
2002 by Chuck and Jenni Borsellino
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from:
The Holy Bible, New King James Version 1984 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.
Other Scripture quotations:
The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV) 1973, 1984 by International Bible Society, used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House
The Holy Bible, King James Version (KJV)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation (NLT) 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.
Multnomah is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers, Inc.,
and is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
The colophon is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout prior written permission.
For information:
MULTNOMAH PUBLISHERS, INC.
POST OFFICE BOX 1720
SISTERS, OREGON 97759
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Borsellino, Chuck.
How to raise totally awesome kids / by Chuck and Jenni Borsellino.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-1-58860-141-4
1. Child rearingReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Borsellino, Jenni. II. Title.
BV4529.B67 2002
248.845dc21 2002005810
v3.1_r1
Dedication
It is with great pride and greater pleasure
that we dedicate this book to those who have taught us most
about the process of living, loving, and learning:
Our Savior
who has taught us how to live abundantly.
Our parents
who have taught us how to learn continually.
Our kids
who have taught us how to love enthusiastically!
C ONTENTS
1. When Enough Is Not Enough and More Is Not an Option
Major on Progress. Minor on Perfection.
2. When Priorities Override Principles and Conduct Outweighs Curriculum
First We Develop. Then We Distribute.
3. When Giving In Is Easier Than Going On
Never Give Up. Never Resign. Never Concede. Never Let Go. Never!
4. When Little White Lies Begin to Color Your Character
Its Never Right to Do Wrong.
5. When the Mirror on the Wall Sees You As a Fixer-Upper
Believe in Your KidsEven When They Dont Believe in Themselves.
6. When the Masks We Wear Make It Hard to Be Trans-Parent
Choosing to Be Real over Craving to Be Perfect.
7. When the Kids Are Pulling You Apart and Youre Determined to Stick Together
Choose Marriage over Minors and Couplehood over Parenthood.
8. When Convenience Is Valued More Than Creation
Value LifeNo Matter What the Cost.
9. When Life Is Lived by Chance Rather Than by Choice
Choose Design over Default, and Experience the Power of Purpose.
10. When Their Hereafter Is in Your Hands
Why Give Them the World When You Can Offer Them the Word?
A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
A HEARTFELT THANK-YOU to those who made these pages possible
To FamilyNet, who allows us the privilege to live out our dream on the At HomeLive! with Chuck & Jenni program. You offer us the opportunity to model the message of faith, family, and friendship each day. The production team turns noise into music. The management team keeps the band on Broadway!
To Multnomah Publishers, who encouraged us, inspired us and set deadlines that almost killed us! This relationship has all the ingredients for a long and happy marriage. Were blessed to hold hands with you. You feel like family.
To our editors, Renee DeLoriea and Jennifer Gott, whose keen eyes and sharp minds saw that some chapters needed watering while others needed a weed whacker! We gave you a gallon of paint, and you turned it into a work of art.
To Chip MacGregor, a promoter, a protector, and a partner who comes disguised as a literary agent. You are the wind that makes our kite soar.
To Julie OBrien, who offered her pen, her paper, and her pageantry to make our memories come alive. You offered us a cup of cold water for a dry and parched mind. Never underestimate your calling or your competence.
To Bob, Shane, and Jeff, who prayed for us when our backs were against the wall. You provided for us when our pockets were empty. You carried us when our knees were weak and our burdens were heavy. May God grant us the opportunity to do the same for you one day.