Erin Cline - Little Sprouts and the Dao of Parenting: Ancient Chinese Philosophy and the Art of Raising Mindful, Resilient, and Compassionate Kids

LITTLE SPROUTS
and the
Dao of Parenting

ERIN CLINE

W.W. NORTON & COMPANY

Independent Publishers Since 1923

TRANSLATIONS OF CHINESE PHILOSOPHERS

Confucius. Analects: With Selections from Traditional Commentaries. Translated by Edward Slingerland. Indianapolis, IN: Hackett, 2003. (Translation with selections from traditional Confucian commentaries that help to explain difficult passages.)

Ivanhoe, Philip J., and Bryan W. Van Norden, eds. Readings in Classical Chinese Philosophy. Indianapolis, IN: Hackett, 2005. (Anthology with selections from the philosophers I discuss in this book.)

Laozi. The Daodejing of Laozi. Translated by Philip J. Ivanhoe. Indianapolis, IN: Hackett, 2003. (Translation of the Daoist classic accompanied by a helpful introduction.)

Mencius. Mencius. Translated by Irene Bloom; edited and introduced by Philip J. Ivanhoe. New York: Columbia University Press, 2009. (Translation with a helpful introduction to Menciuss thought and influence in East Asia.)

Mengzi. Mengzi: With Selections from Traditional Commentaries. Translated with introduction and notes by Bryan W. Van Norden. Indianapolis, IN: Hackett, 2008. (Translation of Mencius with selections from influential Confucian commentary that explains difficult passages.)

BOOKS ABOUT CHINESE PHILOSOPHY

Ivanhoe, Philip J. Confucian Reflections: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Times. New York: Routledge, 2013.

____. Oneness: East Asian Conceptions of Virtues, Happiness, and How We Are All Connected. New York: Oxford University Press, 2017.

Puett, Michael. The Path: What Chinese Philosophers Can Teach Us about the Good Life. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2016.

Slingerland, Edward. Trying Not to Try: Ancient China, Modern Science, and the Power of Spontaneity. New York: Broadway, 2015.

Page numbers listed correspond to the print edition of this book. You can use your devices search function to locate particular terms in the text.

achievement. See success and achievement

The Address (documentary), 182

adults, and forms of address, 3336

Advent, observing, 52

age, related to vocation, 19394

amputee story, 16970

Analects (Confucius), and rituals, 3031

artificial standards, conforming to, 63, 141, 18586

artisan-carpentry metaphors, 14042, 14850

The Art Lesson (dePaola), 145

attentiveness

in parenting (see mindfulness)

and rituals, 3132, 38

author

daughters struggles, 15051

on fathers funeral, 4, 2223, 32

and handshaking ritual, 3839

on love for nature, 6869

parenting approaches of, 5, 14243, 15051

playdates with friend, 8081

sons autism, 17980, 18182, 18284, 185, 200201

and sprouts metaphor, 21112

autism challenges

authors son, 17980, 18182, 18284, 185, 200201

Raun Kaufman, 171, 17475

Temple Grandin, 163, 17678

barley parable, 13940

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (Chua), 89

Bell, Joshua, 5657

bell stand carver story, 19192, 19697, 19798

biodiversity, and vocation, 20811

Bird by Bird (Lamott), 16061

birthday parties, childrens

considerations for, 4748

creativity with, 48

loss of ritual at, 4347

tradition and individuality, 4042

Bloom, Paul, 129, 144, 14647

Buddhist tradition vs. Confucians, 90

Burns, Ken, 182

butcher story, 167, 19091, 19596, 198, 201

carpentry-artisan metaphors, 14042, 14850

Carr, Karen, 167

carving analogy, 5859

challenges and failures

grit development with, 15657

as opportunities for growth, 15455

parental approach to, 15760

persistence related to, 15254

character. See noncognitive skills

children

aimlessness of, 65

being fully present, 32

differing natures of, 13537, 15051

education of, 11011

and exploration, 6566, 19294

as infants (see infants and toddlers)

inherent goodness of, 5658, 6265

milestones of, 109

in the natural world, 64, 69

nurturing potential in, 9091

observing, 103

playing and interacting with, 8788, 1023

relationships with, 8889

and rituals, 2829, 32

as tender sprouts, 68, 1012

valuing, 6465

See also birthday parties, childrens

Chinese parenting, modern

and academics, 12021,
2045

tiger mother stereotype, 4, 89

Chinese philosophers

and common moral nature, 13739

and the Dao of parenting, 46, 912, 1216, 20

and good tendencies vs. bad tendencies, 13031

on practicing mindfulness, 1034

and rituals, 2325, 3031, 4142, 5152

on successful, well-lived lives, 810, 1214, 11213, 11617, 149, 206

therapeutic vs. theoretical concerns of, 140

on values, 14

See also Confucian philosophers; Daoist philosophers; specific philosophers

Christmas gifts, 6768

Chu king story, 21011

Clancy, Liam, 211

Cleary, Beverly, 19394

cognitive vs. noncognitive skills, 2034

college education

caution against, for all, 207

grit related to, 153

and parental expectations, 19293, 199200, 200201

Roth on college applications, 113

vs. other educational paths, 199201, 20810

communities, 124

compassion

as moral tendency, 131, 13738

and parental inductions, 151

striving for, 5

witnessing, 165

competition, parental, 10910, 11213, 114, 119, 199200

conformity

to artificial standards, 63, 141, 18586

and disabilities and challenges, 17879, 182, 18586

resisting, 17879, 182

and rituals, 4142

and societal pressure, 181, 185

Confucian philosophers

beliefs of, 1415

on communities, 124

compared to Buddhist tradition, 90

compared to Daoists, 1417, 5860

and the Dao, 1718, 59, 8182

on harmony, 135

on learning, 12123

on mindfulness, 86, 9193, 94

on parent-child relationships, 8889, 9192

on parenting, 1034

on rituals, 2324, 2425, 3032, 4344, 5152

on self-cultivation, 87

on teachers, 125

on technology, 87

and virtue development, 1819, 2526

Zhuangzi criticizing, 2045

See also Confucius; Mencius; Xunzi

The Confucian Record of Ritual, 21

Confucius (551-479 BCE)

embracing tradition, 4243

and family rituals, 43, 52

and forms of address, 3336

as influential thinker, 1415

and modern playdates, 36

on parent-child relationships, 8889, 9192

quotes, 21, 79, 81, 83, 92, 105, 121

on small rituals, 30

on the Way, 8182, 83, 91

on wealth and prestige, 11315

on wisdom, 121

Copperline, 7374

cultivation of virtues, 2427

cultural history, examining, 2089

the Dao (the Way)

broadening, 8384, 86

Daoist vs. Confucian beliefs, 5960

estrangement from, 6062

as forest path, 8182

joy in following, 91

philosophers belief in, 1516, 1718

vocation, aligning with, 19192, 211

Daodejing, 1, 20, 55, 5859, 64, 65, 67, 87, 100, 1012, 160

Daoist philosophers

beliefs of, 1516, 1718

on change, 9394

and childrens education, 11011

and childrens inherent goodness, 5758, 6265

compared to Confucians, 1417, 5860

and the Dao, 1718, 5960

on disabilities and differences, 17475

on easiness over difficulty, 160