Barbara De Angelis - Real Moments: Discover the Secret for True Happiness

Do you ever feel that, no matter what you acquire or achieve in your life, theres still something missing? Do you and your partner sometimes feel more like roommates than lovers? Does it ever seem like youre so busy working, raising a family, and trying to get ahead that you dont have the time or energy to enjoy your life as much as you know you should?

In Real Moments, bestselling author and renowned relationship expert Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., shows you how to experience more fulfillment and true meaning in your life now, not when you have more money or find the right partner or achieve your perfect weight, but in this and every moment. She shares profound insights and techniques for creating more real moments with your mate, your children, your work, and with yourself, and offers tools for practicing everyday spirituality, so that the process of living itself becomes sacred and filled with everyday miracles. Discover:

How you may be sabotaging your own happiness, and how to stop

Why money, success, and even love wont bring you joy unless you learn how to have real moments

How you can transform your life overnight just by paying more attention

How to find and live your true purposeno matter what your job

How to use your intimate relationship as a path for personal and spiritual growth

How to nourish your childrens spirits and recognize your children as your teachers

How to experience everyday spirituality and tap into your own inner wisdom

A DELL TRADE PAPERBACK

Published by
Dell Publishing a division of
Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc.
1540 Broadway
New York, New York 10036

If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as unsold and destroyed to the publisher and neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this stripped book.

Copyright 1994 by Barbara De Angelis

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. For information address Delacorte Press, New York, New York.

The trademarks Dell and Real Moments are registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

eISBN: 978-0-307-83361-7

Reprinted by arrangement with Delacorte Press

Published simultaneously in Canada

November 1995

v3.1

Contents

Part One

THE HUNGRY HEART
S EARCHING FOR R EAL M OMENTS

Part Two

REAL MOMENTS AND LIVING

Part Three

REAL MOMENTS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Part Four

THE PATH TO REAL MOMENTS
T OOLS FOR C REATING M ORE L OVE
AND M EANING IN Y OUR L IFE

11 EVERYDAY SPIRITUALITY: REAL MOMENTS
WITH YOURSELF

I wrote this book because I needed its lessons and reminders for myself. I wrote it because my life, like so many lives, needs more real moments. I wrote it because, as an author, I know that my most powerful path of self-discovery has always been to become silent, to listen to the silence, to write what I hear, and to know that the words which come through me onto the page are meant first for me to learn from, and then, for others to enjoy if they wish.

There are times in our lives that are ripe for reflection and transformation, and this is one of those times for me. Over the past few years, I have achieved much of the success Ive always wanted. Ive found the relationship I always dreamed of. Ive created a rich and wonderful life. And yet, when I would ask myself, Barbara, are you happy? I found I did not know the answer. Friends would call to congratulate me on my accomplishments or my marriage, and say You must really be happy now, and for days afterward, I would be haunted by their comments. I knew I should be happy with so much goodness in my life, but I suspected that I was not.

It was then I began to understand that what was missing from my life were more real moments, moments when I was not trying to get somewhere or be something, moments when I was fully experiencing and enjoying where I was, now. I had become very good at doing, but wasnt very good at just being, and of course that included being happy.

As I shared my secret handicap with friends and acquaintances, I realized that I was far from alone in my experience. Im writing a new book called Real Moments, Id tell them. And everyone would respond in the same way: Boy, do I need to read that! I started seeing that I was not the only one standing at an emotional and spiritual crossroads in my life, that many of us are at that same crossroads, looking back on the life we have been living, questioning its meaning, questioning the choices we have made, searching for answers that will give us peace.

I believe too that, as a nation, America itself is in the midst of spiritual crisis, desperately trying to discover and define new values as it becomes apparent, in these violent and often frightening times, that the old values have somehow led us away from the very harmony and contentment our forefathers came here seeking. As we approach the twenty-first century, we are all, collectively, and alone, searching for more real moments.

In this book, I invite you to ask yourself the same questions I have been asking myself as Ive stood at my crossroads:

Am I happy?

What have I really been doing here?

Am I doing what I came here to do?

Do I have enough real moments in my life?

Ill be honest with youthese are not always easy questions to confront. It takes courage to ask them, and often, even more courage to be willing to hear the answers that will emerge from your own heart. But your efforts will be rewarded by the new levels of love, peace, and revelation you will experience daily.