Don Gabor - Words That Win: What to Say to Get What You Want

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Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations

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Ebook

Plane-Talk: Networking at 30,000 Feet (Kindle Single)

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Cmo Iniciar una Conversacin

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Talking With Confidence for the Painfully Shy

Copyright 2003/2013 by Don Gabor

All rights reserved.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.

Conversation Arts Media 2013

ISBN: 1-879834-19-7

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Gabor, Don.

Words that win : what to say to get what you want / Don Gabor.

p. cm.

Includes index.

ISBN: 1-879834-19-7

1. Communication in organizations. 2. Communication in management. 3. Communication in personnel management. 4. Communication in industrial relations. 5. Interpersonal communication. I. Title.

HD30.3.G33 2003
658.45dc21

2003055259

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This book is dedicated to my parents, Trude and Fred Gabor.

A special thanks to my wife and editor, Eileen Cowell, for her many ideas, suggestions and unwavering support in writing this book.

Index

What do making a speech, dealing with difficult coworkers, going on a first date and getting better customer service have in common? In these situationsand hundreds more like themyou need to come up with the right words at the right time to get what you want. If you are like the millions of people who become tongue-tied at meetings, miss out on promotions, feel nervous mingling at parties, clam up around the boss, say things to relatives you later regret or never win an argument, then this book is for you.

How Words That Win Will Help You

Words That Win offers the answer to that question and supplies the perfect words, phrases, opening lines, scenarios, along with plenty of examples to get what you want in every aspect of your lifein your career with your boss and coworkers, in your social and personal life with friends and as a consumer in the marketplace.

I use all these strategies, tips, examples and scripts everyday, so I know they work. When you use these techniques, you, too, will sound more confident, competent and poised every time you speak.

How to Use This Book

I designed Words That Win so you have quick answers to most situations you might encounter. The book is divided into three parts and twenty chapters. There are hundreds of hints, lists, tips and examples.

: Words That Win in Business Situations, you will learn conversational strategies, tips and skills to help you:

• Develop a poised speaking style and image.
• Hire the right people and manage a team.
• Get along with difficult clients and coworkers.
• Negotiate great job offers and better deals.
• Master public speaking.
• Convince your boss to boost your career.
• Win arguments without making enemies.
• Make more sales.
• Build a bigger and better business network.

In : Words That Win in Consumer Situations, youll discover the right words to:

• Get better customer service in stores, restaurants and hotels.
• Talk to health-care professionals so you can make better medical decisions.
• Say (and not say) to lawyers, police and judges.

In : Words That Win in Social Situations, youll find hundreds of phrases and examples of how to:

• Make small talk and be more attractive and confident at parties and other gatherings.
• Meet and get along with your neighbors.
• Make new friends and build lasting friendships.
• Have great first dates that lead to romance.
• Build relationships and improve your marriage.
• Get along better with your relatives.

Choose a TopicBegin on Any Page You Want

Use Words That Win as a reference bookyou do not need to read it from cover to cover to improve your ability to communicate. Just turn to a topic that interests you and immediately begin learning how to say the right thing at the right time. You will quickly discover how easy it is to reap the rewards from Words That Win: What to Say to Get What You Want.

The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.

Thomas Jefferson, third U.S. president, 1743-1826

In this chapter, you will learn:
Five ways to sharpen your speaking style Seven quick steps to a bigger and more effective vocabulary Body language that projects poise and power Four ways to make your coworkers like and respect you

When the young congressman from Texas, Lyndon B. Johnson, entered President Franklin D. Roosevelts office, he wanted to discuss his proposal for bringing electricity to the rural areas in his district. However, much to Johnsons dismay, Roosevelt talked nonstop for most of the meeting.

Frustrated yet undeterred, Johnson knew he had to adjust his communication style if he wanted to sell his idea to the president. At their next meeting, Johnson began his pitch before Roosevelt could even utter a word.

Water, water, everywhere and not a drop to drink, Johnson spouted. Public power everywhere and not a drop for my poor people. It then took Johnson only another few minutes to convince Roosevelt to support his project.

Your communication stylethe way you talk to and influence peoplecan always benefit from a little extra polish. Just like politicians who focus on the smallest details of their speeches and proposals, polishing your communication style will help you choose and use the right words when you talk to people at work.

Five Ways to Sharpen Your Speaking Style

I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm.

Calvin Coolidge, thirtieth U.S. president, 1872-1933

A manager for a large manufacturer returned to his office after listening to the companys president drone on at a meeting. When a coworker asked what the president spoke about, the manager replied, Well, he didnt say.

Everyone has listened to coworkers or superiors who talk and talk but never get to the point. Your ability to express your ideas, experiences, opinions and feelings set you apart from those annoying folks who ramble on endlessly before they actually decide (if they ever do) what they want to say.

If you summarize your ideas with a few pithy sentences, your coworkers will not only remember what you said, but will also respect your ideas. Here are five ways to sharpen your speaking style using well-chosen words.

Get into the habit of telling coworkers and clients the main ideas of books and articles you have read or workshops you have attended that might interest them. The subject of your remarks can be work-related, a funny TV show or whatever else seems right for the situation and person. You can use the five journalist questionsWho? What? When? Where? or Why?to help you summarize.