Natasha Harris - It Will Take Love to Heal These Broken Wings

It Will Take Love to Heal These Broken Wings

Natasha Harris

Edited by: Kaylee Overbey

BK Royston Publishing, LLC

Jeffersonville, IN

B K Royston Publishing

P. O. Box 4321

Jeffersonville, IN 47131

502-802-5385

http://bkroystonpublishing.com

bkroystonpublishing@gmail.com

Copyright 2016

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Cover Design: Bill Lacy

Cover Photo: Gregory Maxx II

ISBN-13: 978-0692691816

ISBN-10: 0692691812

P rinted in the USA

Dedication

As I think about unconditional love and compassion I think of the women God put in my life to steer me into in the right direction. Im grateful for my mother and father who gave me a special set of skills that I will use throughout my lifetime. I dedicate this to my siblings Ayanna, Rasheeda, and Khalil and God brother Dauwd, who I always took great pride in helping to raise and be a role model for them to look up to. They gave me that extra push I needed to succeed by just looking at their faces. Having younger siblings forced me to grow up faster than I had anticipated. They felt like my first set of children before I had my own. They allowed me to practice my nurturing and protective skills on them. They were my sunshine on rainy days. Thinking about the love I have for all four of them is indescribable.

My grandmother Anna shared everything she had to make me a better person. I thank her personally for always being the rock of our family and standing tall through all the adversities we may have experienced. She set a high standard in our family, to achieve education and use it as a weapon that no one can take away from you in the future. Her style and fashion was always impeccable and will never be duplicated. Many would try to imitate her, but she is the original Queen while others are simply a knock off copy.

Im thankful for all of my aunts and uncles who were there in the struggle with me. Thank you for never giving up on me and always making a way for me to be a part of greatness. You showed me what real love was all about and you went over above and beyond because of the love you have for my mother.

Shout out to all my cousins that I grew up with and you made me feel special every time we were together. You shared your parents and your personal space with me and I thank you for it. We grew up like we were siblings more than cousins. Our bond is unbreakable and nothing can get in the way of our love that we had since conception. You guys were my heroes and just when you thought I wasnt paying attention to you I was watching you the whole time.

To my God mother Joyce Burton and my Aunt Hilda Robinson I thank you so much for believing in me when things looked bleak. You were there through thick and thin. Anytime I need some money, food, or cloths, you guys stepped up and made sure I had what I needed. I thank you for allowing me to crash at your houses as often as possible (laughing). I never wanted to leave and always wanted to spend the night. You gave me unconditional love and the grace of God. You accepted me with my flaws and you still loved me at a time I felt useless and abandoned. Youve planted some good seeds in my garden and I thank you for the rest of my life for the sacrifices you guys made.

To my foster mothers Gwendolyn Green and Madelyn Robertson, you guys were the first black foster family I had in foster care system. You heard Gods voice when he asked you to deliver me out of the belly of the beast. I can never repay you guys for your unconditional love. I felt like giving up and throwing in the towel and you two saved my life from a burning a hell. You taught me how to be a Queen and never allowed anyone to dull my shine. You taught me how to be a lady and conduct myself in the streets or the boardroom. You were the light at the end of a dark tunnel. I hope you guys are proud of what you helped to create.

Table of Contents

Introduction

One day I woke up and I felt like I wasnt be true to myself by hiding all the deep dark secrets Ive kept to myself for so many years. As I felt the pain and the disappointments that life had dealt me, I decided to own who I was and except my flaws and all to be able to stand tall. Accepting my flaws would mean I would have to go back into my past and dig deep to see why I felt the need to hide who I truly was inside. A bag lady that has so many bags to carry around and pretend it doesnt bother her, wasnt something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wanted to be free to be myself without explanations. As I peeled off the ugly layers in my life such as: homelessness, low self-esteem, low self-worth, foster care, abused, rejected, neglected, outcast, at risk youth, suicidal, depressed, violent outburst, high school dropout, teen mother, and poverty. The notion of looking at the ugly parts of my life wasnt easy and it was very challenging. I took the time off to allow the process of taking your mask off to work in my favor by admitting my faults and taking the opportunity to work on them day by day.

Each time I discovered something new about myself that I didnt like was the result of my upbringing and lack of affection my parents didnt choose to invest in me. With no affection from my parents, it clearly left me unsure of whom I was as a person and female. I felt like if your parents didnt invest in my upbringing and welfare then I wasnt worth anything at all. The feeling of nothing was left in the pit of my stomach for so long, and it caused me to have bad relationships with other people who clearly loved and adored me. I couldnt determine if their love was real or not because I didnt get it from my parents first. I was always defensive and hostile with a cold heart. Walking around without the love of my parents left me without a seal of approval to be successful or great as a person, I thought growing up.