Kim Bergman - Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Everything You Need to Know About Surrogacy, Egg Donation, and Sperm Donation)

There is no better book to read about assisted reproduction. As a parent who was personally helped by Kim Bergman, I can hear her voice, her expert advice, along with her openness and honesty about the process on every page.

Andy Cohen, Emmy Award-winning Host, Executive Producer

Your Future Family contains vital information for the many couples and individuals looking to conceive a child through ART. It's filled with advice that will also help extended networks of friends, family, and community to support and collaborate with those working through this unique way of building a family.

Rob Scheer, founder of Comfort Cases
and author of A Forever Family

Kim Bergman brings cutting-edge expertise to the table with warmth, compassion, and understandinga rare and much needed combination. Your Future Family makes her unique gifts of knowledge and support accessible to people everywhere. I can't recommend it highly enough.

The Reverend Stan J. Sloan, CEO of Family Equality Council

Your Future Family addresses the important, universal issues that people face when they choose to create a family with the help of others. Kim Bergman is a passionate advocate for families of all kinds, known for her honesty and integrity which shines through in these pages.

Wendie Wilson-Miller, founder of the Society
for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy and
coauthor of The Insider's Guide to Egg Donation

Kim Bergman is a passionate, honest expert in her field. The advice she offers in Your Future Family is both insightful and much needed in the field of reproductive medicine.

Angela K. Lawson, PhD, Associate Professor of
Obstetrics and Gynecology (Reproductive Endocrinology
and Infertility), Northwestern University

With scientific clarity and relatable personal stories, Kim Bergman brings the journey of building a family to life, clarifying what seems too complex, and bringing heart to what you fear might be entirely clinical. This book is an essential roadmap for future parents, donors, and surrogates.

Dustin Lance Black, Oscar-winning filmmaker, and
Tom Daley, world champion diver and Olympic medalist

Kim has written an important, accessible guide filled with her brilliant insights and relatable personal stories. Your Future Family makes the sometimes-overwhelming topic of assisted reproduction easy to understand for anyone and everyone considering this life-affirming journey.

Guy Ringler, MD, fertility doctor and
partner at California Fertility Partners

I had the good fortune to have Kim's help through our two surrogacy journeys. She is not only a gifted psychologist, but a true leader and pioneer in the field of assisted reproduction. This book provides you with the valuable insights she shared along the way that, until now, were only available to those lucky enough to get to work with her.

Ryan Murphy, American screenwriter, director, and producer

Even if you think you know everything there is to know about assisted reproduction, you should read Your Future Family. Dr. Bergman covers every anglefrom the simplest to the most sophisticatedwith candor and clarity, making this the most comprehensive guide available!

Richard B. Vaughn, Esq., founding partner
of International Fertility Law Group Inc.

It can sometimes feel like you'll need a PhD in biology to navigate assisted reproduction. Your Future Family covers everything you need to know (and more) in a completely accessible and easy read. Kim is a resource everyone navigating this path should have in their corner.

Scott Brown, Vice President
of Communications at California Cryobank

An invaluable guide for all prospective parents who want to start a family through the use of assisted reproductive technology. This book addresses all aspectsemotional, scientific, legal, and financialof this kind of journey to parenthood. For LGBTQ community members, it's an especially welcome resource.

Glennda Testone, executive director
of NYC's LGBT Community Center

Dr. Kim Bergman's comprehensive knowledge and experiencewhich she generously shares in this bookwill help you navigate the intricate and challenging world of assisted reproduction. She is a trailblazer in the field but also a sensitive professional with a real understanding of basic human needs.

Yotam Ottolenghi, chef, restauranteur, and bestselling author

This edition first published in 2019 by Conari Press, an imprint of
Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC
With offices at:
65 Parker Street, Suite 7
Newburyport, MA 01950
www.redwheelweiser.com

Copyright 2019 by Kim Bergman
Foreword copyright 2019 Mark Leondires
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

ISBN: 978-1-57324-746-7
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
available upon request.

Cover design by Kathryn Sky-Peck
Cover photo by iStock/IdeaBugMedia
Interior by Steve Amarillo / Urban Design LLC
Typeset in Adobe Garamond Pro, Orpheus Pro, and Optima

Printed in Canada

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Dedicated in loving memory to Adam Gindi and
Ric Swezey and the children who call them daddy

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living.

Anonymous

O NCE UPON A TIME, egg donation, sperm donation, and surrogacy were the stuff of science fiction. It was something that might happen in the far-off future when medical technology and societal mores evolved in ways that turned The Handmaid's Tale from novel to necessity. Fortunately, that dystopian world has not come to pass. Medical obstacles have been removed one by one, and today anyone who wants to be a parent can become one. Regardless of your sex, whether you are partnered or single, gay or straight, sexually active or asexual, becoming a parent is achievable.

Reproductive science has given us the ability to retrieve sperm and eggs, and to assess, fertilize, and successfully transfer an embryo. Surrogacy has changed the landscape of options for parents to be and has helped tens of thousands of people become parents. Assisted reproduction has changed the way we build our families, and as medical technology evolves, the odds of success will continue to improve.

That said, there are no guarantees, and there are many twists and turns on this path to parenthood. There are important questions you should ponder early on, and of course there are financial and legal considerations. But for those people who could not otherwise conceive, carry, or give birth to a child, the chance itself is incredible.

Before you embark on this journey, should you decide that it is the right path for you, it is imperative that you familiarize yourself with all aspects of the processfrom the types of doctors you'll be working with and the options you have to the challenges you'll face and the laws that might affect you and the family you are committing to building. To this end, Dr. Kim Bergman has written this book.