Kevin Leman - Its Your Kid, Not a Gerbil: Creating a Happier & Less-Stressed Home

Dr. Kevin Leman is the go-to guy in our house for all things parenting. Weve known Kevin for years, up close and personal, and weve seen the positive results of his parenting know-how with his own children. Thats why we were thrilled to see this book. Weve got two little guys, and this book is sure to give usand every other parent who reads itan incredible advantage. Dont miss out on this invaluable message.

DRS. LES AND LESLIE PARROTT
FOUNDERS OF REALRELATIONSHIPS.COM, AUTHORS OF LOVE TALK

Dr. Kevin Leman gives parents the challenge and the tools to raise healthy children in an unhealthy world. Parents will appreciate the humor and practicality of this book.

GARY D. CHAPMAN, PHD
BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES OF CHILDREN

Reads like a pep talk from a wise uncle. Dr. Kevin Leman gently encourages parents to remember that theres no substitute for spending time with our kids, and when we do, were all happier as a family.

DR. GARY SMALLEY
AUTHOR OF GUARD YOUR CHILDS HEART

Its Your Kid, Not a Gerbil brings astute psychology and an authentic life of parenting into a resourceful guide for modern-day parents. A must-read for parents looking to defuse the multitude of problems and challenges we face in our society today.

BOBBY APRIL
SPECIAL TEAMS COACH, PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Its Your Kid, Not a Gerbil
2011 by Dr. Kevin Leman
All rights reserved.

A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188

Focus on the Family and the accompanying logo and design are federally registered trademarks of Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995.

TYNDALE and Tyndales quill logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Some of the content in this book originally appeared in Home Court Advantage by Kevin Leman, published by Tyndale House Publishers under ISBN 978-1-58997-464-7.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. (www.zondervan.com)

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwisewithout prior written permission of Focus on the Family. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Focus on the Family books are available at special quantity discounts when purchased in bulk by corporations, organizations, churches, or groups. For more information, write to: Focus on the Family, 8605 Explorer Drive, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, or call 800-932-9123.

To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with the author, some details and names have been changed.

Cover design by Erik M. Peterson
Cover photograph of car copyright fotoVoyager/iStockphoto. All rights reserved.
Cover photograph of wheel copyright Willie B. Thomas/iStockphoto. All rights reserved.
Back cover photograph of gerbil copyright Anna Kucherova/iStockphoto. All rights reserved.
Back cover photograph of girl copyright ranplett/iStockphoto. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Leman, Kevin.
Its your kid, not a gerbil : creating a happier and less-stressed home / Kevin Leman.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-58997-615-3 (alk. paper)
1. Child-rearingReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. ParentingReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. SimplicityReligious aspectsChristianity. 4. Time managementReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4529.L44 2011
248.845--dc22
2011010407

Build: 2021-04-21 15:27:06 EPUB 3.0

Affectionately dedicated to my wife, Sande, who has raised five kids from scratch, made our house a home, and has always majored on whats most important.

Have you ever seen gerbils running on a wheel inside their cage? They sure are intense little creatures, arent they? And they look so industrious, tooconstantly on the move, running with gusto around and around inside that silver circle.

But have you ever considered how tired and bored those little critters must get sometimes, doing the same thing over and over, day after day?

Lets be honest. Isnt that how you feel sometimes as you run from place to place, chauffeuring your children from one endless activity to another?

What if, for one moment, you could just step off the activity wheel and relax? How would you feel then?

And what if that single moment could stretch into an hour, or even a whole day?

There once was a popular ad that featured a woman relaxing in a scented bath and saying, Calgon, take me away! If youre feeling as if you could use a little Calgon treatment, isnt it time you gave yourself permission to get off the activity wheel? So your kids can get off that wheel too?

Everybody thinks activities outside the home are good for kids. They help your child develop social networks, allow your child to have new experiences, and even give your child a jump-start over other kids so that he or she will be more successful and even get into the right college or so the reasoning goes.

But have you ever thought about what those activities really mean to your familys schedule and to your together time?

If you want to make a difference in your kids life, then you need to be in your kids life. No volleyball coach or piano teacher can take your place. And the time spent driving your SUV from point A to point B doesnt count.

Ill tell you a secret: If your kids could pick one person to spend time with, it would be you.

You, Mom or Dad. Youre the most significant person in your childs life. You provide the loving environment, the security, and the sense of belonging that every child needs to mature into a healthy, well-balanced adult.

But if youre constantly running, youre handing your childs heart and time over to someone who doesnt knowor careabout your child nearly as much as you do.

So many parents today dilute their impact on their own kids because they have fallen for the busy hands are happy hands theory. Yet an August 2003 poll for the Center for a New American Dream, an organization based in Takoma Park, Md., that focuses on quality-of-life issues, revealed that although 60% of Americans felt pressure to work too much, more than 80% wished for more family time and 52% of them would take less money to get it.

If youre among the 80 percent wishing for more family time (and my guess is that the percentage is even higher), youre reading the right book. Its Your Kid, Not a Gerbil will give you practical solutions and helpful insights to get yourself off the activity wheel so that you can put your time and energies where they really count: establishing strong character and a love for home and family in your kids that will serve them well for a lifetime.

Years from now, when your daughter heads off to college or your son moves into his first apartment, and you say farewell with teary eyes, who do you want them to become? That dream begins by looking forward and carefully cultivating your relationship with your children. Its Your Kid, Not a Gerbil will help you lay a firm foundation for a lifetime relationship with your childrenkids who are nurtured at home by involved parents, who have downtime, who can say no to peer pressure because they know they belong to your family; kids who are reared for character and not just achievement and who value your faith and standards.